Available in massive bottles and smaller kegs size.

By: Billy BeerSlugger

I haven’t posted a beer in awhile and I want to get back to that. I have had Kenzinger a bunch of times and it doesn’t really disappoint. It’s made by the Philadelphia Brewing Company and they do make some very tasty beers. I was drinking Kenzinger last night though so I’ll give it a shout out.

It’s a pilsner and I find it to be a little heavier than other people think it is. It is 4.5% alcohol by volume but I find myself pretty buzzed off of 4 or 5 of these bad bears.  It is made with German malts and American hops to give it a very distinct taste.

My only problem with the Philadelphia Brewing co. is that their cases seem to be a little on the pricey side. Even though it’s made about a mile or two away from my house and there’s little transportation involved the cases still range upwards of $27 in most places. I don’t mind paying for quality but I would drink it a lot more if a case was on the low side of the 20’s.

Either way it’s a pretty easy drinking beer that happens to light me up fast. If you’re in the Philadelphia area their website has a Google map of beer distributors that carry their products. Cheers.

Fathers of American Beer: Adolph Coors

Dude looks like Dr. Werner Klopek from The Burbs.

By: Billy BeerSlugger

For our next entry into The Fathers of American Beer saga we profile Adolph Coors, the patriarch of Coors Brewing Co.  For the first time in our series we profile a brewer who is not based in the Western part of the United States, Golden Colorado to be more specific.

It’s not common knowledge that Adolph Coors was actually born Adolph Kuhrs, the name changed to Coors after he immigrated from Germany to New York. Yes, just like every other Father of American Beer, Coors was born in Germany. Breaking the ranks from his peers Schlitz, Busch and Pabst, Coors did not marry into a family and eventually take over the brewery. He and another businessman bought a Tannery (a place where the tanning process is applied to hide to make it leather) in1873 and made it into his Golden Brewery.  In 1880 Coors acquired full control of the brewery and the rest is essentially history.

The Golden Brewery was converted to make Malted Milk during Prohibition as well as a de-alcoholized “near beer” called Mannah.  It was Prohibition that may have drove him to his death as he committed suicide in June 1929 by jumping out the a window in his room at the luxurious Cavalier Hotel in Virginia Beach, Virginia.  Four years later Prohibition was repealed.

The Coors lineage had been known as workaholics and it is a testament to how the brewery grew over the years.  The Golden Colorado brewery is the largest on a single site and Coors Brewing Company (after it’s merger with Molson) now makes up the world’s 5th largest brewing company. According to the Coors website, Coors became the first American brewer to use an all-aluminum two-piece beverage can in 1959. Coors currently operates the largest aluminum can producing plant in the world in Golden Colorado, known as the Rocky Mountain Metal Container.

The Keystone Light = Coors Light Conspiracy

Never bitter.
Never bitter.

By: Billy BeerSlugger

It’s topical and it’s a question everyone has pondered from time to time.  There’s a lot of theories out there, a lot of conjecture about what is and what is not.  What follows is an in depth and logical look at the theories and rumors that your friends and colleagues have been debating since the dawn of time, Is Keystone Light the exact same thing as Coors Light.

The Facts:

  • Coors Light and Keystone Light are brewed by the same company, Coors Brewing Company.
  • Both beers have an Alcohol by Volume of 4.2%.
  • Both beers share a similar can if not the exact same can dimensions.
  • Coors Light is generally more expensive than Keystone Light.
  • Beer Can labels are inked directly onto the can before it is filled, not after.

The Theories:

  • Keystone Light is just Coors Light cans which were dented and then re-branded as the cheaper Keystone Light.
  • Keystone Light and Coors Light are the exact same beer just marketed in two different brands.

BeerSlugger Analysis:

One thing I know personally is that Keystone Light does not taste exactly like Coors Light.  It tastes similar but not the same. The Coors Light can now has the “Mountains Turn Blue” aspect to it which I’m going to venture to guess would need to be removed from the Coors Light can if it was re-branded to become Keystone Light.

From a financial aspect, it costs money to re-ink a can thus pretty much debunking the theory of Keystone Light being dented Coors Light cans.  It does not make financial sense to spend the money and manpower to re-ink beers only to sell them at a lower price (Keystone Light being cheaper than Coors Light).

I doesn’t make sense to brew the same beer, give it two different brands and sell them for two different prices.  That’s two different can inking departments, two different beer box orders with two distinctly different graphics on them.  If there’s one thing I know about printing, the more  you order of something, the cheaper it is.

When it comes down to it, breweries are in business to make money.  So why would Coors spend more money to produce two different brands of the same beer when they could spend less money and have one brand, the more expensive one I might add? Why would Coors re-ink dented Coors Light cans at a cost to the brewery only to sell them at a lower price? Why not just sell the dented Coors Light cans at a lower price and skip the costly extra step?

There’s no doubt that Keystone Light is in the same family as Coors Light but they are hardly identical twins.  I think from the logistics and costs of running two brand names of the same beer or re-inking dented beer cans to sell at a lower price I have pretty much laid these rumors to rest. It’s not like Coors is having a hard time selling Coors Light either even at it’s higher price tag.  Why mess with success and profit by taking extra steps to make less money?

Sorry Key Light conspiracy theorists, it just doesn’t make sense business-wise and I’m fairly certain Coors has stayed in business since 1873 by making the kinds of decisions which make more money, not less.

Mourning the loss of a Favorite T-Shirt

The Single Tear Drop.
The Single Tear Drop.

By: Robby Ripchord

You know I should have learned this lesson in college.  It’s such a rookie move to make but it basically happened to me two times in one week so I really have no excuse.  I’m talking about lending girls articles of clothing to wear home after they sleep over.

You try to be a nice guy and lessen the burden of the walk of shame for a girl by giving her a t-shirt, sweatpants and or mesh shorts for the girl to wear on the walk back to her car and dwelling instead of her having to wear her now rumpled black cocktail dress or ridiculously low cut Halloween costume from the night before.  You think you’re doing the right thing but once again this is a case where nice guys finish last.  I just lost my favorite pair of sweatpants, mesh shorts and t-shirt in one week.  Never to be seen again. In one case not particularly caring about when or where I was going to see the girl again, just getting her out of the house as fast as possible before the required 11am checkout time that has been instituted in my domicile (Rules are Rules!).  The other instance being a girl I had seen a couple of times before and had planned on continue seeing until text’s and phone calls ceased to be answered (maybe she’s dead as Billy BeerSlugger pointed out?). She has my favorite t-shirt and sweatpants, a combination which when lost together is up there in terms of disappointment, dejection and anger with the passing of my Grandmother.

I even went so far as to leave her a message last night after a week of non-communication explaining that (in the nicest way possible) I really didn’t care that we weren’t talking anymore, but that I would really appreciate at least my t-shirt back even if I had to pay for the shipping. That t-shirt and I have been through some things together, good times, bad times, really drunken nights but in my life throughout the last 3 years or so there was one constant, that 100% cotton form fitting t-shirt.  I liked the t-shirt so much I bought two in different colors and after I lost one at the shore two years ago this surviving t-shirt was clearly the pinnacle of my t-shirt collection.  It was as equally important whilst lounging around watching TV as it was as an undershirt while out showing support for one of our local sports teams.  It’s hard to replace that kind of comfort and really a little piece of me died that day when she got in her car and left, never to be seen or heard from again. Not because of her but because of a garment which I associate with so many great times in my life.

What is it with girls and more so girlfriend’s in general that seem to know your favorite clothes and wear them constantly?  You can’t wear the t-shirt after your girlfriend has worn it, it has to go into the wash because while women generally smell better than men, men shouldn’t smell like women and even if the girl wears it for 10 seconds her scent is all over it.  You don’t see boyfriends grabbing their girlfriends favorite t-shirt and parading around the apartment, it just doesn’t work like that and that dynamic is just one of the many I have a gripe with in the long term male-female relationship. But that’s a discussion for another time.

I will miss you t-shirt, you deserve a better fate than this.

note: this article was written while listening to The Fray‘s 2009 album The Fray.  And yes I cried a little.

How the Phillies Assaulted my Liver . . . Again

ATT00004By: F.X. Galvin

Is this Déjà vu? For the second year in the row the Philadelphia Phillies are in the World Series. For the second year in a row I am a complete alcoholic mess and am one game 7 away from checking myself into a Betty Ford clinic. I feel like I have entered “Groundhog’s Day.” I wake up thinking about the Phils previous game, as well as the looming game. I am hung over loathing myself and the fact that I have to suffer through work from 8:30 to 5:00. The only way I make it through work is listening to sports radio 610, which fulfills my Phillies fix. After work, if I do not immediately start drinking or need to get ready to go to the bar to watch another Phils beat down, I try to mix in the occasional run or meal. Over the last month, both of these daily regularities have progressively been thrown to the wayside. After, each series closing game I am not sure who needed more rest, an overworked Chase Utley or my liver.

This drunken voyage has begun during the NLDS and has turned into a sloppy, disgusting, obsessive mess. The key highlights of the NLDS have to be the following: Attending Game 1 of the NLDS watching Cliff Lee pitch his first gem of the post season against the Colorado Rockies. This game was indicative for the rest of the postseason. Cliff Lee beasted, I got wasted, blackedout, and called out of work the next day. Major League baseball needs to realize that it is not conducive to alcoholic Philadelphia fans to have 4:00 PM start times. Seriously, what are you trying to do to us?

Ultimately, the Phils got redemption from 2007 and closed out the Rockies in four games on a Sunday evening into a Monday morning. Eagles smoked the pathetic Bucs starting at 1:00, followed by the Phils beating the Rockies at approximately 2:00 am (Long Day). Thank you to the staff at Paddywacks for not kicking out hundreds of drunk Phanatics from the bar until the game was finished. Also, thank you Christopher Columbus for getting me the day off work on the following Monday. As the late, great Harry Kalas would have put it “Christopher Columbus, you are the Man!”

The next step for the Phils and my liver was the NLCS and a rematch with the pretentious Los Angeles Dodgers and their obnoxious, idiotic fan base. “Hi, I am an asshole Dodgers fan, let me get to the NLCS by the 4th inning and let me try to fight Phils fans. If that fails, maybe I can buddy up with the Bloods or the Crips in the second deck and jump a 12 year old for his iPod touch. If that fails I’ll make a quick exit in the 8th inning so I do not have to watch the Phillies embarrass the Dodgers in LA.” Losers.

To the highlight: Being at game 4 of the NLCS for me was the best in person experience I have ever had at a professional sporting event. For me, it was even better than the only NFC Championship victory of the decade by the Eagles over the Dogkiller, Michael Vick – led Falcons. That night again, I was blasted. I do not know if it was the vodka, liver killer mix my buddy made, the 12-15 bud lights I put down before and during the game, or the free shots of Jack that were being given away in at the Wine and Spirits but I was tanked. For what you ask? To watch Jimmy “Willie Mays Hayes” Rollins hit a walk off, two run double to put the foot on the throat of the Dodgers. (I’m sure you can figure out the nickname. He is the only leadoff hitter in baseball that tries to hit a home run every at bat. As Lou Brown says in “Major League,” “Runs like Mays hits like shit.”) Anyway this led to an all night drunk fest topped off with another call out. Thanks Phils, my employer is getting happier with me by the series.

Now, the Phils are approaching game 6 of the World Series against the New York Yankees. The New York Yankees and its fan base are even more pretentious assholes than the Dodgers. The Yankees are the most reveled and hated team in baseball. Yankees fans think they are entitled to greatness every season and anything less than a World Series championship is a disappointment. I coronate these douchebags as the most annoying and arrogant fans in sports. I digress. Again, this series has led to a drunken fiasco. More drunk nights at McGillan’s Ale House, more hangovers, but fortunately no call outs. Yippee, I have matured. I am tired and sick, yet hungry for another championship.

Bottom line, I have enough in me for three more celebrations, game 6, game 7 followed by another parade down Broad Street. My liver as well as every other die hard Philles fans in Tri-State area shares the same sentiment. I have three more drunken parties, two more wins, one Friday call out, a random Phillie led one night stand, and one parade left that my liver can not miss. These events are necessary in obtaining the ultimate championship in Philadelphia sports history. . . Winning the World Series against the New York Yankees. Go Phils! Please do not let my liver down.

By F.X. Galvin

Samuel Smith Oatmeal Stout

231427By: Billy BeerSlugger

Originally a drink for lactating mothers, oatmeal stout was described as nutritional on early labels. Oats are in the same family as barley, and a small addition yields great flavor. Popular in the late 1800’s, the last oatmeal stout was brewed before the First World War until Samuel Smith reintroduced this style in 1980.

Easily one of my favorite stouts but a little higher on the alcohol at 5% ABV.  Not sure it’s worth the price around my parts though.  Got a case last week for $58.  Though I have no problem having a couple at the bar.

Overall goes on to prove the point to myself that the English know how to brew great ale’s and stouts.

Try pairing one with:

Pizza and salad, Italian foods, steamed clams, grilled ahi tuna, lobster with drawn butter, steak, eggs Florentine.

Warsteiner – Not your ordinary brewery

warsteinerBy: Luan Zuccarello

Warsteiner has been brewing beer since 1753, and is the largest private brewery in Germany. Located right outside of Warstein Germany and in the Rhine Valley, this brewery remained unscathed during the bombings of WWII. The owner Albert Cramer has used the company’s success and good fortune to start a competitive hot air ballooning league in Germany.

I don’t know about you but I would love to see Hammacher and Schlemmer chugging Das Boot and racing hot air balloons. Their Flagship Beer is the Warsteiner Premium Verum and is a pilsner style that is exported to over 60 countries. With an alcohol content of 4.8% it makes for a refreshing and delicious session beer. I have had the privilege to taste more beers in the Warsteiner catalogue and not one of them disappoints.

I tried their Oktoberfest recently, and was quite surprised that is was so light and crisp. Stay tuned for our ROK-toberfest countdown of the top 10 beers of autumn.

The Foodery – Northern Liberites

The 2nd Street Establishment
The 2nd Street Establishment

By: Billy BeerSlugger

The Foodery is really a beer store that also has a deli. Though when I say beer store, we’re talking about six packs and more so singles of the best beer you can find in Philly. There’s 10 or so coolers that have some of the finest imported beer from Belgium, Germany, England and anywhere else that makes stuff worth drinking.

You can sit down and have a beer and a sandwich there, it’s not a bar but they will give you glassware.  And I believe it’s open until 10pm which is crucial for those for a halftime beer run on a Monday Night Football game or a Tuesday night when you’ve just had a really bad day.

So overall, one of the best selections of beer I’ve ever seen in one place. The bad part is that most of the single beers there run $4.50+.  Yes imported beer is a little more expensive but it’s more or less a 300% markup for single beers. I walked out of there with a $20 dollar sixpack last week. If I was smart I would have went to the beer store earlier in the day and had at least 18 more beers but such is life sometimes.

Overall though you can’t really knock the price given the selection and trendy 2nd street location in Northern liberties. Maybe the City has a tax on single beer?

Another great thing is that I didn’t see any Budweiser or Coors there. Kudos to you friends. Viva le Beer!

837 north 2nd street (2nd & poplar)
(215) 238-6077
philadelphia, pennsylvania 19123
hours: sun-thurs 10:00am to 10:00pm
fri-sat 10:00am to 12:00am

They also have a location at:

324 south 10th street (10th & pine)
(215) 928-1111
philadelphia, pennsylvania 19107
hours: everyday 9:00am to 12:00am

I wish I had frequented that establishment a little more when I was living near Broad and Spruce St.

5 Worst College Social Scenes in the Philadelphia area: #1 Eastern University “GPS Your Career”

By: F.X. Galvin

Sorry that it took me so long to write this article. Hopefully my article yesterday explains my absence and delay. W.J. Beerslugger has been harassing me to write this article so here it is.

Eastern is located off the main line a stones throw away from Villanova in St. David. It is a “University” (not sure how they pulled that off) strongly rooted in the Christian faith. Everyday that I drove to bar review class this summer on I-95 I passed a billboard sponsored by Eastern that proclaimed “GPS your career.” This maybe the most misleading billboard I have ever read and Eastern should be ashamed. Eastern does have many of the same majors other colleges do but it boast its youth ministry program where you can get your B.A. in youth ministry as well as a minor in biblical studies. . . why not give a degree in leisure studies it may be as useful. Also, it has a joint program where its students can go to a seminary and receive their B.A. This false advertising may trick some normal kids of coming to this school, which is terribly wrong. Overall, this school is packed with Christian extremists who have a promising future creating their personal Jonestown or becoming the next David Koresh. These freaks are strange enough to believe themselves to be the final prophet like Koresh did.

I know I gave you a brief background on this school above but it has nothing to do with partying. This is because there is no partying. Drinking is forbidden on this campus. Yes, absolutely forbidden. If you violate this rule you will be cast down with the Sodomites. Seriously, I am not kidding these people will try to rewrite the Bible to scrutinize you while they cannot even be honest with themselves. If you get caught with drugs they may hang you at high noon. (just a rumor)

The rules that this school make it sound more like cult training camp getting you ready to drink the Koolaid instead of a college. First, drinking it outlawed as mentioned above. I know several kids got kicked off the soccer team for good because they drank. That type of punishment is worse then high school and is completely ridiculous. Furthermore, you cannot show up on campus drunk. Yes, you will be in deep shit if you are wasted even if you are not caught drinking on campus.

Now for my favorite rule . . . What happens if the opposite sex comes to your dorm room. The light has to be on, the door has to be open, and two feet have to be on the floor at all times, meaning no one is allowed to be chilling on the bed. You cannot be serious! I was allowed more action in my Mom’s basement in the 10th grade. How could you possibly put these constraints on grown adults. Also, how could you go to a school that mandates this absurdity. I know these rules to be fact because one of my friends from college dated a girl from Eastern and refused to ever go there after one visit . . . do you blame him? Consequently, the same guy ended up marrying the girl this past year. Go figure, he has told me several different stories from weddings she has forced him to go to, in which her college friends got married. My favorites are the two weddings that alcohol was not served . . Yes, completely dry. What, are you fucking Muslim? Even JC rocked some wine from time to time. . . Lighten the fuck up, a drink would do you some good.

The abusive rules at Eastern may work mentally for many, but it will definitively serve as chaos for many others. Some of these kids leave campus, taste freedom and go insane. Two of my buddies in college met two of these freaks walking through the mall. They came over to their dorm and fucked them unmercifully for 24 hours until they demanded they checked the fuck out. Seriously, this is the chaos that results from people who are constrained their whole lives.

One final story I have about this college comes from when I interned for a politician on the state level my senior year of undergrad. The politician took me to a check presentation at Eastern as they won a state funded grant for winning a contest in recycling. You may wonder how a school with an enrollment of 4,000, which includes its undergrad, graduate, and seminary program can win a recycling contest over the massive state schools within Pennsylvania. Answer: These people are insane, and recycling contests are the shit they do for fun. I’m all about saving the earth but when I was in college and for that matter, right now, I am more concerned with myself and people I care about. Sorry, guess I’m a dick. Well anyway, back to the story . . . to get a laugh out of the crowd, which was filled with school dignitaries, the student council, and other relevant students and faculty, the politician starts off with a one liner “Wow, you must have drank a lot of beer to win this contest.” Complete silence, crickets. To this day I bet she has no clue what she did wrong. That speech hurt her re-election campaign, she lost six votes. She would have been much better off with some bullshit line on how God inspired the student body to recycle every piece of paper, aluminum, glass etc. to win this contest. Usually, the God line is a cliché but in this instance it is the standard.

I will not lie to you, I have a problem with religion and especially my religion, which I will not disclose. I will not delve into my personal views on the subject because I do not want to ruin a future article. However, have faith in yourself, believe in yourself do not let a group of fanatics tell you how to live your life. WWJD . . . Get wasted.

Shuffleboard on a Table? Dominant!

240By: Billy BeerSlugger

I recently spent the better part of a week in the Pocono’s with 11 friends to prepare for and draft my Fantasy Football squad (and get super wasted). My league has been renting out a house now since 2005 and is far and away the best way to draft your team.  Well really it’s just good to get your friends and yourself away from your girlfriends/wives for a weekend and have some good old unadulterated fun.

We have had 5 houses and this one was by far the best.  Not because it was nicer, not because it was closer to the golf course but because it had a shuffleboard table!  I cannot even begin to describe to you how dominant this game is.  No wonder old people love shuffleboard.  It is easily the best social drinking skill game out there.  Better than Darts, better than Billiards, better than (dare I say) Foosball.  It requires no athletic ability and you can play for as long as you can stand upright.

The intricacies of the game are many.  Besides sliding a disc like object down the runway and having it sit in a scoring area, there are many things you need to take into account.  Playing defense would consist of knocking your opponents disc off of a scoring area and hopefully landing in a scoring area yourself.  Defense can also be played by positioning a disc in front of another disc that you placed in a scoring area so as to obstruct it from your opponents attempts at knocking it off the board.

I was up money, I was down money but overall I had a great time and the tournaments we had got really intense.  A member of my FF league, and avid reader, went to West Chester University and is a veteran of shuffleboard due to his tenure as a drunkard at Jake’s Bar.  This is the only bar I have run across that carries a Shuffleboard table or “Quades” as it is the nomenclature in West Chester.

Overall, a completely dominant game and something you BeerSlugger’s out there should be looking to play.