Dawes, “When My Time Comes”

By: Robby Ripchord

I watch the show Hung on HBO as it keeps my attention for the half hour, makes me laugh from time to time and obviously there’s naked women here and there, I mean the show is about a male prostitute.

I don’t usually write about TV shows or pop culture but the Season 2 finale was capped in the ending credits by a song I had swore I heard before live. Back in June I had gone to the Trocadero to see a Blitzen Trapper on a whim after listening to a couple of their songs on Lala.com before Apple bought and killed it. As it turned out The Moondoggies opened up for Blitzen Trapper and I happened to like them a whole lot better.

So now I was trying to connect the dots all last night on where I had heard the song on the ending credits and did a little research. It turns out that it was a band called Dawes and they have a bunch of tour dates with the Moondoggies coming up. I am about 90% sure that The Moondoggies performed the song, possibly with the lead singer of Dawes that night. Or maybe I was just really stoned and Dawes was actually there and performed and didn’t receive any billing. Who knows, all I know is I liked the song and I heard it live before I heard it on Hung.

Pretty cool videos from Dawes. Check out all 3 bands.

Baseball: Pie to the Face

pieSports with Bob McFlurry

You know I’m all for a little innocent fun in sports. When a guy drives in a run to win the game in the 9th why not beat him senseless when he comes to home plate? Why not do high fives and chest bumps after a big shot in a basketball game? Why not take your shirt off and slide across the field after a goal in Soccer? Why not do an endzone dance in football or spike the ball?

I’m all for athletes celebrating within reason. One thing I do get but don’t get the materials used in it is the old shaving cream pie to the face.  Now comedians have been using actual pies or whipped cream pies for decades to get laughs. My question is, why use shaving cream MLB players? Why use something you cannot eat and says directly on the can, “KEEP AWAY FROM EYES”? These athletes have loads of food and beer on hand for after games and they send clubhouse attendants out for this and that all the time. So why can’t there be a couple cans of reddi whip on hand for a post game celebration should that walk off homer or hit occur?

Don’t get me wrong I like the tradition, I like the celebration, I like the camaraderie but use something that is edible; something that is not going to irritate the eyes.  It’s really not that hard.

Why I’m not on Facebook

facebBy: Billy BeerSlugger

It always amuses me to see the shock and amazement when I tell someone that I’m not on Facebook. Then I give them the reasoning that the first thing Skynet does when it becomes self aware is to grab all the Facebook data as an easy means to find and kill you. Not everyone gets the Terminator reference but the ones that do suddenly have a troubled look on their face.

Maybe the Skynet scenario is a little extreme but don’t think that the government isn’t tapping into this info to form a better bio of tens if not hundreds of millions of U.S. Facebook users. Couple that Facebook info with data that Google collects including entire search histories and geo-location data, enabling whomever has access to the data to potentially find out information about you that your mom or best friend doesn’t even know.

Besides a personal want to live off the grid as much as possible (for fear of Skynet/Big Brother) , I just don’t see the allure of Facebook beyond its initial novelty, reconnecting with people. I personally don’t want to talk to anyone from High School past the people I already do. I either have a phone number or email address of most of my friends and acquaintances in college. I’m on at least two personal email chains that get daily attention from multiple people. I rock Google Chat from Gmail and my phone. That’s all I can really handle on a day to day basis. I don’t need to know that Jimmy A. is going to the gym or that Jenny B. is now in a relationship. I really just don’t care enough to read about my friends let alone people I barely know. I also don’t care enough to post my own info for people to look at.

There’s also something inherently contrarian about me, if everyone is on Facebook, I’m anti-facebook. If the general American public loves American Idol, Lebron James, and The Black Eyed Peas then I am almost automatically against those things. This likely stems from the thought pattern that likens most of the general public to sheep being herded and prodded in directions which best benefits the powers that be.

The last reason I will give that I’m not on Facebook is that my Mom is on Facebook. Yes the same woman who can barely retrieve voicemails off of her mobile phone is a blossoming member of the social media club that 500 million other people are on. I don’t need her looking at pictures of how wasted I got last weekend or trivializing over what my last post meant. I also don’t need her leaving me notes like the ones she used to pack in my lunches during grade school. Wouldn’t jibe with my uber cool BeerSlugger persona.

Sandra Bullock vs Jesse James

bullockBy: Billy BeerSlugger

Why is anyone really surprised that this badass biker dude with tons of tatoos and used to be married to a Porn Star cheated on Sandra Bullock? Seriously? I know women are all up in arms about this but given the situation was anyone really taken aback by this infidelity revelation?  Let me go back a sentence and repeat the whole fact that he was married to and has a child with porn star Janine Lindemulder.

So dude goes from being married to an award winning Porn Star and probably being used to some pretty crazy shit in terms of the relationship to being married to Sandra Bullock, award winning movie star who is probably a lot less sexually adventurous.  Then James goes outside of the marriage to get some fetish sex or whatever he’s into and everyone’s like, “oh my God, how could you cheat on Sandra Bullock”.  No one saw this coming? Really? Seriously? You poor naive general public.

It is fascinating to me that this is such a huge news story. Jesse James has seen such a media backlash (somewhat rightfully so) but who’s really at fault here? Probably Jesse James for lying about wanting to be in a monogamous relationship (if that was even an agreement) or Sandra Bullock for marrying a guy who’s best known for making custom motorcycles, being a bodyguard for heavy metal bands and being married to a popular late 90’s porn star?

Just let that marinate for a little bit. I’m not saying that it’s right to cheat but couldn’t this situation have been avoided altogether if both people had exercised a little logical thinking?

BTW: Shocker this story comes out after right after Bullock wins an oscar. Nothing like a bitch using her body to make money, then make even more money by releasing the story about using her body to make money. It’s a disgrace to honest, hard working strippers and hookers everywhere.

Do It Yourself: Friends and Family Edition

ambition_the_office_webBy: Billy BeerSlugger

They say you can’t please everyone all the time and that’s never more true in your personal life with friends, family and romantic interests.  As a given, people will complain no matter what it is, weather, location selection, crap about work, it doesn’t really matter. If you know enough people, then you know a couple people who will bitch and complain about pretty much everything under the sun and not only do nothing to fix their supposed problem but also offer up no suggestions or feelings before or during events transpiring.

It’s either too much money or the amenities could have been better if you’re the one that booked the trip.  The food could have used a little more spice or it was way too spicy if you’re the cook. Person A says we could have gone to this bar or that restaurant instead of the place you went out of your way to make reservations at or booked a party at. “This wedding reception isn’t as nice as it could have been”.

If you’re a “Do’er”, you’re used to being dealing with the negative feedback which will inevitably occur from people you know who have no bearing on the planning or decision making aspect of the events, food or general ambiance you try to pull off.

Not only are you dealing with people who as a whole probably never could be happy, but you’re also dealing with people who will complain about things even when they were asked about their input and gave no response or are indifferent at the time.

“Oh it’s way too cold out” says the person who just came into the office. “Man it is just ungodly hot outside” says the same person in the summer. Guess there’s no pleasing you huh? Maybe you should have moved to some sort of climate that doesn’t get too hot or too cold Goldilocks.

I guess my point here is that given a topic or situation, invariably people will bitch about something. I tend not to bitch about things, especially things I have no control over like the weather or traffic. If there is something that bothers me I’ll do my best to fix that situation instead of just talking about the problem. If I can’t fix the problem I’m not going to bore you with it.  This isn’t a situation where I wish people were more like me but in general, if you’re bitching and complaining about things instead of fixing them I have no patience for you.

ps. this article seemed better in my head. well fuck, can’t win them all.

The Mark of the Beast 666

236223_400_300By: Billy BeerSlugger

I’ve long been interested in Doomsday scenarios. During a 2 day faked sickness in High School I smoked pot and perused the Book of Revelation in the Bible among other things.  I read it again after 9/11 as well as various Nostradamus quatrains looking for any correlation to what was happening at that time. I’m into Discovery Channel programs on Asteroids and other possible major threats to the Human Race. These things interest me.

One thing you can read in the Book of Revelation is that everyone will be branded:

“the Beast”: “He causeth all, both small and great, rich and poor, free and bond, to receive a mark in their right hand, or in their foreheads: And that no man might buy or sell, save he that had the mark, or the name of the beast, or the number of his name.”

This brings me to a Washington Post article I recently read that possibly fits into this scenario. There’s a bill in Virginia outlawing the involuntary insertion of microchips into the body which would hold medical info and serve other functions which could give away a persons location.

First, my dog has one of these things implanted in him. Should he ever be lost somehow the chip is activated via satellite and thus is able to reveal his location. It’s a great feature. Further, I’m sure that every parent of an abducted child wishes they had implanted one of these devices into their children and saved a whole lot of emotional or physical trauma to both parties.

Past children (or people with the mental capacity of children) and dogs though I really don’t see a need to have a microchip implanted into the body when you’re an adult. It’s an invasion of privacy in my opinion and whatever positive aspects the microchip could bring about the potential negative effects are far greater. Being able to track people’s movements is certainly not something I want to happen to me. I mean I’m not doing anything wrong but if I did happen to accidentally kill a hooker and have to bury her in the Pine Barrens, the microchip would certainly be a huge obstacle to getting away with it.

Not that the Revelations passage hasn’t been linked to 100 other scenarios including to things done by Caesar, Nero, Napoleon and Hitler.  However, this situation is certainly relevant and worthy of some contemplation.  Overall, I don’t want some microchip or other technology in my body unless it makes my dick really huge and even then I would have to think long and hard about it. No pun intended.

Tv’s New Hit

TV will rot your brain..if your lucky.By: Sean Millski

Has anyone else seen that the news is suddenly full of stories about kids being hit and killed by…..Televisions!?  The first Delaware Valley incident that caught my attention was earlier this week in Kensington, That resulted in only an injury, the second, yesterday in Burlington county new jersey resulted in the death of a two and half year old boy! In doing a little research I found this is not at all uncommon. Every major city in the country reports many such instances every year. For example; Last November in Florida a 16mo old boy was killed when an older sibling climbed a 4ft tall TV to turn it off and ended up toppling it over onto his infant brother. Almost the exact same thing happened in Phoenix,Az. 3 times in as many months!

Even though I immediately started to suspect a combination of poor parenting and the trend towards huge TV’s (even though the one in Jersey yesterday was only 27″), as it turns out the vast majority of cases I looked into the police have put the blame on faulty TV stands and not the TV’s or parents. Which begs the question… What is with the problem with the TV stands!? Are people not putting them together properly , are the little plastic discs under a modern TV too small to support the weight or are the crappy fiber-board stands sold today too cheap to even be safe in your home!? If your thinking ” Whew, I’m safe ’cause I used a cool wall mount” you’d be wrong because in a few instances it was a faulty wall mount or installation of the mount  that caused the TV to fall. So unless your Builder Bob your not safe there either.

I could be way off here but we didn’t seem to have this problem years ago, even with the 2 ton sets we grew up with because furniture was made by a craftsmen, came assembled already and making a quality product was still job one.  Of course the old school TV’s came already in a  sturdy, balanced stand but even the hulking sets of the 80’s and 90’s were supported by real, honest to goodness furniture. I think this just another case of the increasingly ignorant consumer being screwed by the man at price-mart.

Maybe the lesson is to put out the three or four dollars for one of those furniture securement kits to keep your children, pets and property safe?

I don’t know what the answer is but maybe before you have the family over for the holidays you should take a second and make sure your TV is securely mounted to the wall or get those chinese directions out and give your realistic looking, veneered wood TV stand the once over.

A Beerslugger’s Winter Guide to Romance

Why can't my boyfriend be more like this guy on TV? Thoughtful, Romantic, Good Looking. He just doesn't get it.

By: Sean Millski

That right, romance. Let’s face it Fella’s, the ladies want it and, like it or not, it’s your job to give it to ‘em. Especially this time of year because with the holidays comes the 10 extra pounds from grandma’s sweet potatoes and, as if that wasn’t enough, the cold weather sets in. The extra weight and extra layer of clothes leaves your girl down and out. With the beaches closed and the sun on vacation, she’ll huddle on the couch fighting off the winter blues with a set of flannel PJ’s and Na-Na‘s lovingly wrapped left-over’s. All the while trying to figure out what exactly it was she liked about you in the first place. So, unless you want a full blown girlfriend crisis on your hand, you better step away from the fruitcake and do something about it.

If you don’t know what to do don’t worry because whether your just starting to date or you’ve been married for years the same rules apply to getting through the frigid months with your girl happy and intact. The first thing you need to do is put the wrench, spreadsheet or game station down and get started on making your lady feel like she’s still number one in your book. Here are some useful hints and tips that might help you along;

Take some of the burden off her.

The modern woman, college coed to busy mom, feels strained and overwhelmed with all of life’s little duties so start with making time for her to relax and spend some fun time with you. Most women will tell you that the most effective foreplay a man can do for her is to do the dishes or clean the bathroom. If your just dating you can still do your part by taking the initiative and making the weekend’s plans. Make it easy for her to just go along and enjoy. Don’t cross the line to controlling…your going for helpful. Oh, and if you clean the bathroom, do it like she would! Don’t wipe it down with the dirty pair of boxers you just took off!

Don’t rev a cold engine.

Any car guy can instinctively tell you that about his motor but somehow they don’t understand that it applies to their girlfriend too. Before you race the engine, you have to make sure she’s warmed up and ready to run. Whether it’s sex or dinner with friends…..a little patience will go a long way. If you don’t know what that means then the next tip is for you.

Send silent messages.

Use body language…a lot….but whatever you do, don’t make every contact or movement about sex. Learn to take emotion and put it into your finger tips. Touch her softly and with feeling that she can, well, feel. Women look at that little stuff, it’s big to them. What you do is far more important than what you say (read that last sentence like ten times).Take a gentle kiss on the forehead for example, it’s a simple gesture but it speaks volumes to a woman. Touch (not grabbing or groping!) can be a great way to get through to your girl. Use what I call “The Deft Touch”. Pay attention to the softer, more vulnerable parts of her body like the small of her back, the top of the hip, the inner forearm, the nape of her neck. Avoid the sexual areas like the plague. Lightly glide across the skin or firmly push with the palm. Try to make her feel safe, loved, cared for, special, attractive and desired…not kept or lusted after. It send’s a message that she’ll get in a big way. You touch her right….and she’ll return the favor in and out of the bedroom.

Give the right gift.

Romance doesn’t usually need to include a gift but if you decide to give one be careful, it’s a slippery slope. Flowers are expensive and are going to make them wonder if you are apologizing for something. Don’t do lingerie(get the wrong size and it’s curtains) or household goods under any circumstances! The best gifts are intangible like concert tickets or add-ons like a bracelet on her car seat after a trip to the zoo that says to My Hunny Bunny or some other cute animal related saying. Corny? Yes, but romantic nonetheless. Avoid homemade gifts too unless your absolutely sure they’re not lame…ask someone if your not sure. Design a memory…that’s the best gift of all.

Connect with her…

out of the house…out of the normal routine. It’s important this time of year to get her up and out. Get the blood flowing and the literal and figurative heart’s pumping. To help you decide how and what to do we’ve come up with a few suggestions;

Take her to the new National Constitution Center. Taking her there can show you have depth …The center features a state of the art, stadium seated, multimedia presentation in addition to a pretty big, interactive museum on the founding of our great nation….But the best part is that until Dec.31st, they are featuring an elaborate exposition on Princess Diana. This one is easy, I hate to make so many generalizations but, the ladies love princesses. Top it off with a romantic, horse drawn carriage ride through the park and you’ll be one step closer to being her prince charming! (a simple necklace or charm that says Your My Princess at the beginning of the carriage ride would be a good gift add-on example. Getting it now?)

Walk hand-in hand down a hopefully snowy lane at the free Dicken’s festival in downtown Narbeth on Dec. 12 from 1 to 4pm. The street festival features street performers, carolers, venders, performers and more. The ladies don’t like to be cold but they do love you to show them some affection in public. I haven’t been to this one but it sounds worthy.

Stroll arm in arm through Longwood Gardens beautiful winter display from now until Jan. 10th. It’s a great place and this time of year it’s the perfect romantic setting. This one is sure fire.

Finally, if you want or need to be fairly spontaneous, just go for a walk together or ask her to go outside with you and make snow angels (Stop making that face like you just smelled bad milk! That‘s what got you in this position in the first place!). Last but not least, make two snowmen in the yard and color them to look like you guys with spray bottles filled with water and food coloring. (You can talk all the man-smack you want…don‘t knock it until you try it.)

If you have any romantic trip or gift suggestions, please add them to the comment section below.

Well, Break a Leg.

Fathers of American Beer: Adolph Coors

Dude looks like Dr. Werner Klopek from The Burbs.

By: Billy BeerSlugger

For our next entry into The Fathers of American Beer saga we profile Adolph Coors, the patriarch of Coors Brewing Co.  For the first time in our series we profile a brewer who is not based in the Western part of the United States, Golden Colorado to be more specific.

It’s not common knowledge that Adolph Coors was actually born Adolph Kuhrs, the name changed to Coors after he immigrated from Germany to New York. Yes, just like every other Father of American Beer, Coors was born in Germany. Breaking the ranks from his peers Schlitz, Busch and Pabst, Coors did not marry into a family and eventually take over the brewery. He and another businessman bought a Tannery (a place where the tanning process is applied to hide to make it leather) in1873 and made it into his Golden Brewery.  In 1880 Coors acquired full control of the brewery and the rest is essentially history.

The Golden Brewery was converted to make Malted Milk during Prohibition as well as a de-alcoholized “near beer” called Mannah.  It was Prohibition that may have drove him to his death as he committed suicide in June 1929 by jumping out the a window in his room at the luxurious Cavalier Hotel in Virginia Beach, Virginia.  Four years later Prohibition was repealed.

The Coors lineage had been known as workaholics and it is a testament to how the brewery grew over the years.  The Golden Colorado brewery is the largest on a single site and Coors Brewing Company (after it’s merger with Molson) now makes up the world’s 5th largest brewing company. According to the Coors website, Coors became the first American brewer to use an all-aluminum two-piece beverage can in 1959. Coors currently operates the largest aluminum can producing plant in the world in Golden Colorado, known as the Rocky Mountain Metal Container.

SEPTA Strike Over

150px-SEPTA_text.svgBy: Billy BeerSlugger

So now that the SEPTA strike is over with Transportation Workers Union 234, expect an increase in fare’s soon.  SEPTA has stated that it was going to increase fare’s in 2010 just as it did in 2007.  How much you ask?  From what this article says about 10% increase in revenue for the fiscal year of 2011.

I guess we kind of knew that was going to happen though.  SEPTA Union workers strike, they get a raise, both sides make some concessions and ultimately they pass the buck onto the consumer.  Nevermind a portion of your tax money goes to SEPTA whether you use it or not, that’s besides the point.

So now for some thoughts, suggestions and wishful thinking:

1) How about 24 hour Weekend Service for subways and Regional Rail even at a limited schedule?

How much better would it be if you could get from Point A to Point B in Philadelphia after Midnight without having to take a cab, walk 100 blocks or ride a bike?  Insanely great!

How much more business would city bars and restaurants get from the outlying counties if there was even one train on every regional rail that took people home from the city say at 2:40am after the bars closed and giving people ample time to get to Market East, Suburban or 30th St Stations? I can’t tell you how many good times were abruptly averted by friends visiting who had to leave at 11:30 to make sure they got the last train home to Delco/Montco?  How many trips to the city were never had by people who don’t want to drive to the city because they would be drinking and don’t want to leave at 12pm to get the last train?

Give the people a reasonable way to get to and from Philadelphia to drink and be merry without having to drive or worry about getting home and you will see a city ripe with fresh faces on the weekends. I guarantee that.

2) How about a freaking rechargeable transit pass like every other city with a subway system has.  How about being able to pay with your credit/debit card at every station and or ticket/token dispenser?

Granted these things will cost money. Money to staff subways with police officers, money to pay the money hungry SEPTA employees who no doubt would welcome this as overtime.  I don’t know but if New York can do it and we’re pretty much New York’s J.V. team then I’m sure sooner or later we could pull this off.