By: Sean Millski
That right, romance. Let’s face it Fella’s, the ladies want it and, like it or not, it’s your job to give it to ‘em. Especially this time of year because with the holidays comes the 10 extra pounds from grandma’s sweet potatoes and, as if that wasn’t enough, the cold weather sets in. The extra weight and extra layer of clothes leaves your girl down and out. With the beaches closed and the sun on vacation, she’ll huddle on the couch fighting off the winter blues with a set of flannel PJ’s and Na-Na‘s lovingly wrapped left-over’s. All the while trying to figure out what exactly it was she liked about you in the first place. So, unless you want a full blown girlfriend crisis on your hand, you better step away from the fruitcake and do something about it.
If you don’t know what to do don’t worry because whether your just starting to date or you’ve been married for years the same rules apply to getting through the frigid months with your girl happy and intact. The first thing you need to do is put the wrench, spreadsheet or game station down and get started on making your lady feel like she’s still number one in your book. Here are some useful hints and tips that might help you along;
Take some of the burden off her.
The modern woman, college coed to busy mom, feels strained and overwhelmed with all of life’s little duties so start with making time for her to relax and spend some fun time with you. Most women will tell you that the most effective foreplay a man can do for her is to do the dishes or clean the bathroom. If your just dating you can still do your part by taking the initiative and making the weekend’s plans. Make it easy for her to just go along and enjoy. Don’t cross the line to controlling…your going for helpful. Oh, and if you clean the bathroom, do it like she would! Don’t wipe it down with the dirty pair of boxers you just took off!
Don’t rev a cold engine.
Any car guy can instinctively tell you that about his motor but somehow they don’t understand that it applies to their girlfriend too. Before you race the engine, you have to make sure she’s warmed up and ready to run. Whether it’s sex or dinner with friends…..a little patience will go a long way. If you don’t know what that means then the next tip is for you.
Send silent messages.
Use body language…a lot….but whatever you do, don’t make every contact or movement about sex. Learn to take emotion and put it into your finger tips. Touch her softly and with feeling that she can, well, feel. Women look at that little stuff, it’s big to them. What you do is far more important than what you say (read that last sentence like ten times).Take a gentle kiss on the forehead for example, it’s a simple gesture but it speaks volumes to a woman. Touch (not grabbing or groping!) can be a great way to get through to your girl. Use what I call “The Deft Touch”. Pay attention to the softer, more vulnerable parts of her body like the small of her back, the top of the hip, the inner forearm, the nape of her neck. Avoid the sexual areas like the plague. Lightly glide across the skin or firmly push with the palm. Try to make her feel safe, loved, cared for, special, attractive and desired…not kept or lusted after. It send’s a message that she’ll get in a big way. You touch her right….and she’ll return the favor in and out of the bedroom.
Give the right gift.
Romance doesn’t usually need to include a gift but if you decide to give one be careful, it’s a slippery slope. Flowers are expensive and are going to make them wonder if you are apologizing for something. Don’t do lingerie(get the wrong size and it’s curtains) or household goods under any circumstances! The best gifts are intangible like concert tickets or add-ons like a bracelet on her car seat after a trip to the zoo that says to My Hunny Bunny or some other cute animal related saying. Corny? Yes, but romantic nonetheless. Avoid homemade gifts too unless your absolutely sure they’re not lame…ask someone if your not sure. Design a memory…that’s the best gift of all.
Connect with her…
out of the house…out of the normal routine. It’s important this time of year to get her up and out. Get the blood flowing and the literal and figurative heart’s pumping. To help you decide how and what to do we’ve come up with a few suggestions;
Take her to the new National Constitution Center. Taking her there can show you have depth …The center features a state of the art, stadium seated, multimedia presentation in addition to a pretty big, interactive museum on the founding of our great nation….But the best part is that until Dec.31st, they are featuring an elaborate exposition on Princess Diana. This one is easy, I hate to make so many generalizations but, the ladies love princesses. Top it off with a romantic, horse drawn carriage ride through the park and you’ll be one step closer to being her prince charming! (a simple necklace or charm that says Your My Princess at the beginning of the carriage ride would be a good gift add-on example. Getting it now?)
Walk hand-in hand down a hopefully snowy lane at the free Dicken’s festival in downtown Narbeth on Dec. 12 from 1 to 4pm. The street festival features street performers, carolers, venders, performers and more. The ladies don’t like to be cold but they do love you to show them some affection in public. I haven’t been to this one but it sounds worthy.
Stroll arm in arm through Longwood Gardens beautiful winter display from now until Jan. 10th. It’s a great place and this time of year it’s the perfect romantic setting. This one is sure fire.
Finally, if you want or need to be fairly spontaneous, just go for a walk together or ask her to go outside with you and make snow angels (Stop making that face like you just smelled bad milk! That‘s what got you in this position in the first place!). Last but not least, make two snowmen in the yard and color them to look like you guys with spray bottles filled with water and food coloring. (You can talk all the man-smack you want…don‘t knock it until you try it.)
If you have any romantic trip or gift suggestions, please add them to the comment section below.
Well, Break a Leg.