Khalid Sheikh Mohammed or Ron Jeremy? You decide.

By: Billy BeerSlugger

According to this article on Reuters the alleged masterminds behind the 9/11 bombings will be tried in New York. Khalid Sheikh Mohammed and others will soon be “subject to the most exacting demands of justice”, Obama said.

Correct me if I’m wrong here but wasn’t Osama Bin Laden the mastermind of this whole thing? I mean, yes there had to be other people involved but hasn’t the media, the government and every other organization been pushing the ultimate blame on Bin Laden since two days after the bombings?  So how is this guy one of the Mastermind’s when it’s been pushed on the American people that Bin Laden is the guy?  If Bin Laden makes the decisions doesn’t that make the guys that are getting tried Knights, Rook’s or Pawn’s in this Chess match to Bin Laden’s King?

How are these people expected to get a fair trial in the city that they are accused of blowing shit up in?  Seriously how do you get an impartial jury in the City of New York even 8 or so years after they lost 3,000+ of their fellow New Yorkers allegedly to the actions of the guys on trial.  Just not going to happen, you might as well execute these guys before they get airlifted off of Guantanamo.  We couldn’t have had this trial in Omaha, Nebraska where there isn’t nearly as many high profile buildings/targets to hit by potential terrorists seeking to make a statement during the trial?

Doesn’t Khalid Sheikh Mohammed look eerily like Porn Star Ron Jeremy?  What’s up with that shit?  Does anyone else smell a conspiracy here?

Never bitter.

By: Billy BeerSlugger

It’s topical and it’s a question everyone has pondered from time to time.  There’s a lot of theories out there, a lot of conjecture about what is and what is not.  What follows is an in depth and logical look at the theories and rumors that your friends and colleagues have been debating since the dawn of time, Is Keystone Light the exact same thing as Coors Light.

The Facts:

• Coors Light and Keystone Light are brewed by the same company, Coors Brewing Company.
• Both beers have an Alcohol by Volume of 4.2%.
• Both beers share a similar can if not the exact same can dimensions.
• Coors Light is generally more expensive than Keystone Light.
• Beer Can labels are inked directly onto the can before it is filled, not after.

The Theories:

• Keystone Light is just Coors Light cans which were dented and then re-branded as the cheaper Keystone Light.
• Keystone Light and Coors Light are the exact same beer just marketed in two different brands.

BeerSlugger Analysis:

One thing I know personally is that Keystone Light does not taste exactly like Coors Light.  It tastes similar but not the same. The Coors Light can now has the “Mountains Turn Blue” aspect to it which I’m going to venture to guess would need to be removed from the Coors Light can if it was re-branded to become Keystone Light.

From a financial aspect, it costs money to re-ink a can thus pretty much debunking the theory of Keystone Light being dented Coors Light cans.  It does not make financial sense to spend the money and manpower to re-ink beers only to sell them at a lower price (Keystone Light being cheaper than Coors Light).

I doesn’t make sense to brew the same beer, give it two different brands and sell them for two different prices.  That’s two different can inking departments, two different beer box orders with two distinctly different graphics on them.  If there’s one thing I know about printing, the more  you order of something, the cheaper it is.

When it comes down to it, breweries are in business to make money.  So why would Coors spend more money to produce two different brands of the same beer when they could spend less money and have one brand, the more expensive one I might add? Why would Coors re-ink dented Coors Light cans at a cost to the brewery only to sell them at a lower price? Why not just sell the dented Coors Light cans at a lower price and skip the costly extra step?

There’s no doubt that Keystone Light is in the same family as Coors Light but they are hardly identical twins.  I think from the logistics and costs of running two brand names of the same beer or re-inking dented beer cans to sell at a lower price I have pretty much laid these rumors to rest. It’s not like Coors is having a hard time selling Coors Light either even at it’s higher price tag.  Why mess with success and profit by taking extra steps to make less money?

Sorry Key Light conspiracy theorists, it just doesn’t make sense business-wise and I’m fairly certain Coors has stayed in business since 1873 by making the kinds of decisions which make more money, not less.

By: Billy BeerSlugger

So a lot of my friends have asked me what Twitter is.  That’s all you ever hear about nowadays, Twitter, Tweet’s, Twats. “You’re a computer guy, you should know this stuff”, they say.

From what I’ve read, it’s a mico-blogging tool.  Where BeerSlugger.com is a blog and has no real limit on the amount of text, Twitter has a post limit on characters that is about the same as a text message (SMS).  You can actually Twitter (effectively post text to your account and have it show up on the website) from your phone using Text messages so that I’m guessing comes in handy on the go.  Though if I wanted to I could post something to BeerSlugger.com from my Blackberry (I’m a one upper).  I’m not sure what is so important that you couldn’t wait to go home and post on a regular blog or website but I guess if everyone else is jumping off a bridge I should too.

Anyway, I’m hip, I’m cool, I know who the Jonas Brothers are and I use Twitter.

Check me out at http://twitter.com/beerslugger

Eventually I’ll try and incorporate the Twitter into the BeerSlugger.com once i figure out what I can use it for besides sending messages while in the bathroom.  Preliminary ideas include segments called “Toilet Talk” and “Droppin’ Knowledge While Dropping A Deuce”.

Let me know what you guys think.

By: Billy Beerslugger

So over the weekend or sometime late last week was the first time I heard about Swine Flu (technically influenza A virus subtype H1N1). I’ll admit I was joking about it, asking my buddy if one of the symptoms was excessive flatulence since I was very gassy after a heavy night of boozing.

Now though, it’s not really a laughing matter.  The World Health Organization is saying that a pandemic is imminent.

A pandemic for those of you keeping score is described as an epidemic of infectious disease that spreads through populations across a large region; for instance a continent, or even worldwide.

Swine Flu is endemic of Pigs and rarely infects humans.  It is of high probability that this virus must have mutated to be able to infect humans or been engineered that way.

I understand how it got from Mexico to Texas, that’s easy.  What I’m saying or at last what is fishy to me is how it spread so fast from Mexico to New York and now to Chicago.  I don’t think it has anything to do with flying on airplanes because most of the people reported to have acquired Swine Flu have been kids.  Spain reported the first case of Swine Flu in Europe and the person had not even been to Mexico.

So besides person to person contact, how are these virii being spread.  If the person from Spain who was not in Mexico has it, how did it get there?  How did it get from Mexico to New York with no infections in states in between?

I’ve been manning the Conspiracy theory channels and one possible cause is Chemtrails.  The chemtrail conspiracy theory suggests that some contrails (condensed water vapor trails from plane engine exhaust)  are actually chemicals or biological agents deliberately sprayed at high altitudes for a purpose undisclosed to the general public.  Some say Chemtrails are used to control Weather Patterns some say they may be used to combat global warming.

Some argue that we are being conditioned to accept these trails in the skies as normal by inserting them into movies and advertisements.

However, who is to say they are not being used to deliver the Swino Virus?  It’s possible but is it probable?  What if some sort of terrorist group is perpetrating this Swino Virus as a Bio-weapon, the government is covering it up and Jack Bauer is the only one who is keeping us safe?

I don’t have any proof but if this is true you heard it here first on Beerslugger!

This Youtube series really caught my eye on Chemtrails.  A little long (27 parts) and somewhat dry, boring but worth at least seeing some of what people are reporting on.

At least some local news stations are reporting on it.

By: Billy Beerslugger

So a U.S. freighter ship was boarded by pirates last week somewhere off the coast of Somalia.  I’m not really sure what happened to the rest of the crew but the Captain was taken hostage.  The news stations made a huge deal of this.  If you watched CNN, Fox, MSNBC over the last couple of days this was the main story.

The story ends with 3 pirates being snipered by the Navy Seals and the U.S. captain being freed.  Somehow though, I was rooting for the Pirates.  What if the main Pirate was in the same league as Jack Sparrow or One Eyed Willy from Goonies?

While I certainly wanted no one to die, it’s got to take a lot of balls to board a freighter ship, take hostages and demand a ransom.  You’ve got to be a little crazy.  ARRRRRRRRRR!!!!!

These pirates differ from their Hollywood cousins in that the “booty” they desire is citizens who will pay a ransom for safe return instead of gold, silver or other precious cargo.  A cargo freighter isn’t something you’re going to steal and take to the high seas as your new pirate ship. Exchanging the new cars or other booty on board for the the vast amount of gas it takes to run one of these things just doesn’t make sense.

Somalia is a war ravaged country.  It’s government was overthrown in 1991 and for nearly 20 years has been ruled by rival clans.  Whomever has more pickup trucks, guns and men in that area is who the people listen to.  Some Somali people call these pirates heroes.  In reality, these men are just your ordinary fisherman, paid by the overlords to assault the some 25,000 ships that pass through the Gulf of Aden each year.  In 2008 piracy incidents in the area jumped to 111 from 41 in 2007.

It’s big business over there.  On average the Pirates earn between 1 million and 2 million per boat.  But all that money does not go to the pirates.  The pirates themselves make only about 30% of that while twenty percent goes to group bosses,  another 30 percent is spent on bribing local officials, and 20 percent goes for capital investment like guns, ammunition, fuel, food, cigarettes.  And these pirates are getting more sophisticated because increasing night time attacks suggest the use of Night Vision Goggles.

Love them or hate them, the Pirates do not seem to be going anywhere soon in that area.  And this brings me to another point, don’t work anywhere where there’s pirates.  This ship captain obviously knew of the pirate activity in the area. He chose to take the job anyway.  Just like if you go over to Iraq as some sort of contractor, the pay is higher but you run the risk of getting killed.

My advice,don’t work anywhere but the U.S., Europe, the British Isles and maybe Australia.  Anywhere else you’re fucking crazy.

It has been a long running conspiracy of mine that Omar Epps & Mekhi Phifer are in fact actually the same person or Epps was cloned sometime back in 1995 and the clone was given the name Mekhi Phifer.

Here are the facts as I see them:

1. Both played doctors on E.R at one point.
2. They both currently work as doctors on the shows E.R and House respectively.
3. They were both born in New York City
4. They were both raised by single mothers.
5. Both starred in movies with rap artists (Tupac and Epps in Juice & Phifer and Eminem in 8 Mile)
6. They bare a striking resemblance to one another. Same haircut, both have a goatee (though Epps’ is longer).
7. Both played star high school/college athletes in movies (Pfifer in O, Brian’s Song and Epps in Higher Learning, The Program etc).
8. Both are around the age of 35 (Epps being 35 and Pfifer being 34).

I think the evidence pretty much speaks for itself.  It’s overwhelming.  I know I cannot prove this right now but I am putting a plan in place to get hair samples off of both of them to do DNA analysis on.

Further i believe Pittsburgh Steelers coach Mike Tomlin is somehow involved in this conspiracy and could be a second clone.

Updates to come….

So I decided after a heavy work week that I was going to stay in last night in an effort to conserve energy and get Super Wasted on Saturday in celebration of St. Paddy’s day (really I couldn’t find a drinking buddy).

I spent most of the night in the fetal position, crying and listening to Dashboard Confessional but I did manage to read a couple of things on the interweb about one of my Favorite Subjects, “Net Neutrality”.

Here are a couple of short reads:

Internet Protocol Treaty a ‘National Security’ Secret

“…would criminalize peer-to-peer file sharing, subject iPods to border searches and allow internet service providers to monitor their customers’ communications.”

Web Snooping

“…it was the fact that users had no choice in the matter… people were snooping on their web activity whether they liked it or not.”

People got all up in arms about the Patriot Act’s illegal wiretapping going on’s, but I think more people should be cognizant of web snooping.  Allowing your Internet Service Provider to gather information about your web browsing/data transfer habits etc.

If you want to prosecute people for illegally file sharing you have to prove it and pretty much the only way to prove that (save actually finding illegally downloaded files on a persons physical computer)  is monitoring web/data activity.

Now this isn’t about Illegal File Sharing or not wanting Comcast to know I watch Animal Porn on a regular basis, it’s about spying on you, user of the internet.  If they can snoop on your file sharing they can snoop on your email and online banking etc.  Going back to the whole wiretapping thing, I’m going to hypothesize that people do a lot more or at least as much of their interaction with other people/institutions over the interweb as they do over the phone.  So why don’t we hear more about web snooping and net neutrality on the tv news?  Is it because the same companies that control access to the internet are in cahoots with the corporations that control the TV Networks.

Rupert Murdoch’s News Corporation (Fox), General Electric (NBC), Disney (ABC), Viacom/ Sumner Redstone (CBS)  and all their affiliates and subsidiaries have products and services that they would like to sell to you.  Knowing your browsing habits helps them effectively target these products and services for you.  They are already doing this on social networking sites like Facebook and Myspace, collecting information about you to display targeted advertising (you agreed to this in your terms of service).   While this may seem innocuous enough you have to ask what else they are doing.

MySpace: All your data belong to us
FACEBOOK: Federal Human Data Mining Program

I think the moral of the story is the internet is the last source of informational freedom in our country and I for one would like to keep it that way.

Once I figure out an effective way for you the Beerslugger audience to support Net neutrality I will post it here.

I really never go for the Diet Soda.  It tastes terrible and not that it makes me sick, it just doesnt sit right in my stomach.  If I’m going to get a soda it’s going to be the real thing, Sugar and All.

Over the last couple of years I had heard some negative things about artificial sweeteners but never really thought anything about it because I never drank them.

Then I came across some information on the interweb that confirms some suspicions I’ve had about artificial sweeteners.

“A 2005 study by the University of Texas Health Science Center at San Antonio showed that, rather than promoting weight loss, the use of diet drinks was a marker for increasing weight gain and obesity. Those that consumed diet soda were more likely to gain weight than those that consumed naturally-sweetened soda. Sharon P. Fowler, MPH, who conducted the study, posited that it is not the diet drinks but something associated with their use that is linked to weight gain, perhaps simply that use of diet drinks increased as a person noticed that he or she was gaining weight. Fowler also speculated that perhaps giving the body the “taste” of energy-rich foods triggers a search for the real thing, or, as nutrition expert Leslie Bonci, MPH, RD, put it, “People think they can just fool the body. But maybe the body isn’t fooled. If you are not giving your body that food energy you promised it, maybe your body will retaliate by wanting more energy.”" (From Wikipedia)

“Artificial sugars are worse than normal sugars because they fool the brain into thinking you just ate some sugar. When you eat artificial sweeteners, the brain sends out chemicals to combat the sugar the way it usually does. But it can’t find the sugar in the body because you didn’t really eat it. So the brain sends off another chemical that tells the body to create a craving. The body has all the chemicals to fight sugar but no sugar to fight, so you start craving carbohydrates, which will metabolize into sugar, so you will feel satisfied. People who drink diet sodas find it very difficult to lose weight, because the false sugar stimulates cravings, which causes them to eat more.”

So the benefits of drinking diet soda or using artificial sweeteners in your coffee (0 or very low calories) are essentially negated by a carb craving it induces after ingested.  People use these products as substitutes to regular sugar and end up wanting to eat more. It’s a vicious cycle.

I guess the moral of the story is that you really shouldn’t have too much of either regular sugar or artificial sweeteners but I’ll stick with the real sugar.

This also calls into question some of the light beers I occasionally am handed at a bar or pull out of a cooler at a BBQ.  I happen to hate Miller Lite.  Can’t tell you how much I hate it.  Never really had a problem with Michelob Ultra and never had MGD 64, however, does this same principal apply to these light beers.  Are we sacrificing some carbohydrates in the beer and end up getting hosed some other way?  The research continues….