Let’s just say for the sake of argument that reincarnation exists and you have your choice of who or what you are going to be in your next life. That question is too easy for me and number one on my big board is the artist formally known as Brian Austin Green now just Brian Green. Think about how cool it would have been growing up on Beverley Hills 90210. Every day you’re hanging out with Shannen Doherty and Jennie Garth. Your learning about the birds and the bees from Luke Perry, and when you get bored with that you go bang a couple extras in your trailer. Then TiffaniAmber Thiessen decides to join the show and tries to make over her girl next door image by playing a slut!
Ahhh there is a God! Seriously every guy between the ages of 24 and 30 has choked their chicken to her multiple times. Imagine “being there” for her during this transition. He dated her for a couple years then moved on to Vanessa Marcil when she came on 90210. For those who don’t know Vanessa Marcil – first shame on you and second she is of the TV show “Vegas” fame and plays Nick Cage’s girlfriend in “The Rock”. Great scene in “The Rock” where she is riding him like a champ and Nick Cage says like only he can say “Oh yeah. The pigtails are very naughty. Naughty! Naughty!” So he fucks her for awhile, screws up and has a kid with her. Then like every kind, gentle, providing guy he breaks up with her for Megan Fox. Do you blame him? The guy has money, possibly the best kill count ever recorded, stories upon stories and all this at the tender age of 32.
So Beersluggers, I leave you with these questions to ponder: What or who are you going to be in your next life? Who has the best kill count of all time?
Ok, it’s 5:30am and I’ve been up all night trying to get this fucking application to deploy properly on the a client’s sever but who gives a fuck about that. I realize I didn’t post anything yesterday and not that I’m running out of ideas or anything I just don’t have the wherewithal to write something as edgy and cool as a Fall Out Boy Anthem right now.
So I’m gonna go with old faithful, hot chicks. Now the subject of this post has been dubbed the hottest woman on the planet by some, she stars in the upcoming Transformers 2 and I think signed on to do be the new Wonder Woman, I’m talking about Megan Fox.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m a huge Megan Fox fan, but she’s not the hottest girl in the world by far, yea I said it. The woman needs to eat a cheese steak, American Wiz Wit’ if you know what I mean. If I got her in bed (non-existent chance) I would be worried I would break her. She’s 5’6” and has got to be all of 100lbs.
I’m all for girls being skinny but not starving themselves. Hot girls are enough to put up with as it is but they’re extremely bitchy when they’re starving themselves. You see a guy walking around with a hot girl and you’re like, “Damn I wish that was me”, but you don’t know how much bullshit this guy is going through to keep this girl happy and ward off would be suitors at the same time. All to get laid and walk around town holding hands with the homecoming queen.
Is it worth it? Yea sometimes it’s worth it, but most of the time you’re asking if you can have your testicles back or rocking a dinner/drinks get together with all the other hot girls and their boyfriends. She’s going, “Go talk to Jim over there he likes Baseball too”. You casually stroll over, “So Jim how about that local sports team eh’.”.
Anyway, I’m delirious right now. Here’s you Tuesday moment of Zen.
I feel like it’s my responsibility to bring the Beerslugger faithful interesting and thought provoking issues. As a man, there’s not really anything more interesting or thought provoking than naked women.
So from time to time I’ll try to get you links to celebrities in their birthday suits. Of course they will just be links so we’ll keep Beerslugger.com safe for work viewing (at least in terms of images).