By: Billy BeerSlugger

I was having a conversation with someone at the bar on Friday night about who would win in hand to hand (or foot) combat, Mr. T or Chuck Norris?

It’s one of those amazing questions that you cannot readily answer given that both men are immortal.

Here are some well known facts about Norris and Mr. T.

• Mr. T and Chuck Norris once encountered each other on a lonesome British path. Before the inevitable battle could begin, the earth shit itself and created Scotland.

• Mr.T once punched Chuck Norris at the exact moment he roundhouse kicked Mr.T in the chest. The result was the 80’s.

• Mr. T once shook hands with Chuck Norris, or so it appeared, in actuality, their combined power caused an earthquake, which gave their hands a look of shaking to any onlookers, who were probably too scared to accurately testify anyway.

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Khalid Sheikh Mohammed or Ron Jeremy? You decide.

By: Billy BeerSlugger

According to this article on Reuters the alleged masterminds behind the 9/11 bombings will be tried in New York. Khalid Sheikh Mohammed and others will soon be “subject to the most exacting demands of justice”, Obama said.

Correct me if I’m wrong here but wasn’t Osama Bin Laden the mastermind of this whole thing? I mean, yes there had to be other people involved but hasn’t the media, the government and every other organization been pushing the ultimate blame on Bin Laden since two days after the bombings?  So how is this guy one of the Mastermind’s when it’s been pushed on the American people that Bin Laden is the guy?  If Bin Laden makes the decisions doesn’t that make the guys that are getting tried Knights, Rook’s or Pawn’s in this Chess match to Bin Laden’s King?

How are these people expected to get a fair trial in the city that they are accused of blowing shit up in?  Seriously how do you get an impartial jury in the City of New York even 8 or so years after they lost 3,000+ of their fellow New Yorkers allegedly to the actions of the guys on trial.  Just not going to happen, you might as well execute these guys before they get airlifted off of Guantanamo.  We couldn’t have had this trial in Omaha, Nebraska where there isn’t nearly as many high profile buildings/targets to hit by potential terrorists seeking to make a statement during the trial?

Doesn’t Khalid Sheikh Mohammed look eerily like Porn Star Ron Jeremy?  What’s up with that shit?  Does anyone else smell a conspiracy here?

It Doesn't actually teach you how to be a DJ. Much like Guitar hero doesn't teach you how to play Guitar.

By: Robby RipChord

I’m not really mad at Eminem or Jay-Z for selling out to do DJ Hero but there must have been some serious postulating on both sides before they committed.  Something like this, as a hardcore rapper, can seriously hurt your street credibility in terms of fan base and the ability to sell records in the future.  Maybe they are both worried about record sales for the industry in general and are trying to make as much money as possible right now, who knows.

There’s something different about DJ Hero as opposed to most of the other “Hero” games in that Jay-Z and Eminem are still in a position to sell a major amount of records any time they drop an album.  They could debut at number one just from name recognition alone for the most part and one or two singles on the radio. With the popularity of Guitar Hero and Rock Band it’s an easy progression to try and make money off of hip-hop too and what a better instrument than the turntable.  But while Guitar Hero and Rock Band are highlighted by back in the day bands like The Beatles, Aerosmith, Metallica and others who really haven’t had a viable hit in years (or decades), the makers of the game chose to go with current rap/hip-hop stars instead of going with back in the day talent.  They didn’t even get DJ’s to front their product they got rappers instead of DJ legends.  Why not pick out The Beastie Boys, Run DMC, Wu Tang, Public Enemy, Rakim, Salt N Peppa, Nas or one of 50 other artists who deserve to be kind of honored (and compensated) for their role in Rap and Hip-Hop?  We’re these people approached and told the Video Game Company to fuck off, “We’re not going on a video game”?

Do Jay-Z and Eminem really need the money that bad? Jay-Z is always rapping about how much money he has and he’s a mogul but how do you justify all this to your “street” fanbase and becoming overly commercial?  Eminem I don’t really see with the same problem because I’m not sure anyone ever took him for a Gangsta but doesn’t this cheapen his work as an “Artist”? I’m all for people making money but at what cost to your reputation?

By: Billy BeerSlugger

The League is flat out hilarious.  It’s the sort of entertainment you’ve come to expect from the network that gave us It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. The plot lines of the episodes revolve around a Fantasy Football League, the members of that league and the interactions with wives, girlfriends and one night stands.

It comes on right after it’s Always Sunny and this is now considered my favorite hour of television each week.  Any show that has a woman say to her husband “I have confidence in my pussy” while drunk at dinner deserves a full season of episodes ordered. During this same conversation a member of the league (Nick Kroll) notes that his fellow league members’ wife may have a little “Vaginal Hubris”.  Later a music video about it is made by another League Member is shown and posted on the League website.  Eventually the “confident” wife views the league message board and sees the video and more hilarity ensues.

I’ve followed Nick Kroll for awhile and he’s definitely of the brand of Jewish humor that I’m buying at the Supermarket. Check out some of his stuff on Funny Or Die. He shares my affinity for Ed Hardy T-Shirts.

By: Billy BeerSlugger

Former Miss California Pageant winner Carrie Prejean is back in the news because of a sextape (although more like a masturbation tape) that has surfaced.  Prejean originally came into national focus after she was criticized in the media for her answer in the Miss USA pageant which elaborated her views on gay marriage.  As more information came out about her and the more interviews done because of the answer on gay marriage she painted herself as a very god-loving person as citing that the body was a holy temple and other Christian type views on the world.  She was labeled as a hypocrite by the media after photos came out of her posing semi nude and or topless and then being under fire to surrender her Miss California Crown in which Donald Trump (who owns the pageant) gave her a pass.  Later she was stripped of her crown for breach of contract for reasons I didn’t care to look up which resulted in Prejean suing the Pageant for wrongful termination.  That suit was settled last week sometime as rumors of a sextape swirled and eventually was shown to Prejean and her mother (classic).

So now Carrie Prejean is back on the talk show circuit, Larry King Live, the Today Show, The View and talking about her book while all these shows are booking her for is the sextape questions which will boost ratings, not the book.  She refuses to answer questions about the sextape under the premise that the details of the settlement of her suit she is not permitted to and yada yada fuckin yada….

Now maybe this is an elaborate plan to boost her public persona and sell her book or maybe the former boyfriend she sent the video of her masturbating needed the money, though it seems the most money to be made from the tape would have been during her 15 minutes of fame. Anyway, she kind of won’t go away and it’s annoying me.

It’s not particularly annoying me that she has a sextape (because I definitely want to see it) but that all the talk shows have to have her on to talk about this shit.  All the liberal media has to parade her around as some gay hating, god loving whore when the girl is pretty much everything that most girls her age are, a little opinionated and a lot naive.  How many teenage girls have sent sext messages to their boyfriends.  How many groups of teenage girlfriends have put up a video on Youtube of themselves dancing very scantily clad to fast paced music or filmed the lot of them in the shower with bathing suits on (Ask me how I know these exist)? Point being that this kind of stuff happens quite regularly. I don’t know about filming masturbation, that’s a little overboard but I’ve received some pretty graphic stuff from girlfriends past that I wish I had saved.

The thing that most aggravates me is that she is a lightening pole for the liberal media to take shots at.  Trying to discredit her in any way possible and tie it into the Republican Party or Conservatives.  Not exactly a fair assumption and really she shouldn’t be news at all.  Prejean is right in that she says she is being attacked by the media for being against gay marriage and a devout Christian in the spotlight but really why does anyone care what this girl has to say?  Beauty Queens aren’t exactly known for their brains are they? Please Click here for more on that subject.

So why?  Why is this girl in the news?  A sextape is a sextape but it doesn’t necessitate talk show interviews.  Shame on whomever booked her and shame on her for using the publicity of the sextape  to sell her book even if by happenstance. Since you know she wasn’t going to get booked without the sextape scandal as her 15 minutes was up.   A person using a sextape to sell books and talk shows using a sextape to up ratings, I guess everyone wins (except the public).

Now I realize that the “Right” or “Conservatives” sometimes paint newsworthy people into the Democrat/Liberal unfairly but you really didn’t see Kim Kardashian be a lightening rod for criticism from the right even though she supported Obama for so long and has a sextape and naked pictures. It’s like Prejean is the newly appointed spokeswoman for conservatives as seen by liberals and really that’s far from the truth as Obama is doing a good job so far.

Maybe one of the biggest reasons why I wrote this is smug ass pseudo-intellectual talk/news host Kieth Olbermann seems to be fixated on her whenever she pops up in the news.  You may know I have a deep and reasoned dislike of Olbermann but I think the guy took it a little too far when he gave Prejean the two-fingered salute at the end of his show, signifying the two fingers a woman may choose to masturbate with (to view it go to the end of this video). It’s the kind of over the top gesture that someone on the other side of the political spectrum would get fired for but I’ve heard little to no backlash.

Olbermann, like many of his so called reporter counterparts seem to forget that this girl is a beauty queen not a Rhodes Scholar.  The weight of what she says or her opinions really don’t need to be a concern of national media , shes famous for being pretty and being personally (not an activist) against gay marriage.  There really is more pressing things going on in the world than the trials and tribulations of Carrie Prejean and her fake breasts and sextape.

However, as I said earlier, I do want to see the sextape.

By: Billy BeerSlugger

Barney Frank is the second openly gay Member of the House of Representatives a post he has manned since 1981.  He is also the Chair of the House Financial Services Committee dealing with issues like mortgage foreclosure bailout, American Housing Rescue & Foreclosure Prevention Act, Credit Cardholders’ Bill of Rights Act among other things.  A pretty big deal.  He favors medical marijuana which we’ll get to a little later.

You will see him on MSNBC, CNN, CNBC and he will even go on Fox and do interviewers with such right wing gas bags as Bill O’Reilly.  What I found so hilarious is that Barneys gay lover was arrested for marijuana possession, cultivation, and use of drug paraphernalia.  Barney was there when his partner was busted but denied knowing what the plants looked like etc.

It’s completely funny to me that heads the House Financial Services Committee
is banging some dude who is a big enough pot head to grow it in the backyard. It’s the kind of news you think would have gotten major play in the media circa 2007 given Frank’s high profile job dealing with the mortgage crisis and all.

Not that I’m hating on him at all, I’m all for legalizing the Mary Jane and taxing the shit out of it but if we are going to hold our athletes accountable for getting caught smoking pot and suspend them or whatever, then maybe, just maybe we should hold our government officials accountable as well. If an NFL player can be at the wrong place at the wrong time and get chastised in the media and or suspended then I’m pretty sure the people who actually have a hand in shaping policy for our Government should be held up to that scrutiny as well.

Either way Colbert is hilarious in this Vid.

By: Billy BeerSlugger

So now that the SEPTA strike is over with Transportation Workers Union 234, expect an increase in fare’s soon.  SEPTA has stated that it was going to increase fare’s in 2010 just as it did in 2007.  How much you ask?  From what this article says about 10% increase in revenue for the fiscal year of 2011.

I guess we kind of knew that was going to happen though.  SEPTA Union workers strike, they get a raise, both sides make some concessions and ultimately they pass the buck onto the consumer.  Nevermind a portion of your tax money goes to SEPTA whether you use it or not, that’s besides the point.

So now for some thoughts, suggestions and wishful thinking:

1) How about 24 hour Weekend Service for subways and Regional Rail even at a limited schedule?

How much better would it be if you could get from Point A to Point B in Philadelphia after Midnight without having to take a cab, walk 100 blocks or ride a bike?  Insanely great!

How much more business would city bars and restaurants get from the outlying counties if there was even one train on every regional rail that took people home from the city say at 2:40am after the bars closed and giving people ample time to get to Market East, Suburban or 30th St Stations? I can’t tell you how many good times were abruptly averted by friends visiting who had to leave at 11:30 to make sure they got the last train home to Delco/Montco?  How many trips to the city were never had by people who don’t want to drive to the city because they would be drinking and don’t want to leave at 12pm to get the last train?

Give the people a reasonable way to get to and from Philadelphia to drink and be merry without having to drive or worry about getting home and you will see a city ripe with fresh faces on the weekends. I guarantee that.

2) How about a freaking rechargeable transit pass like every other city with a subway system has.  How about being able to pay with your credit/debit card at every station and or ticket/token dispenser?

Granted these things will cost money. Money to staff subways with police officers, money to pay the money hungry SEPTA employees who no doubt would welcome this as overtime.  I don’t know but if New York can do it and we’re pretty much New York’s J.V. team then I’m sure sooner or later we could pull this off.

By: Gene Yuss

I was hired some time ago by a firm that reviews top restaurants in major cities.  For some reason it has just occurred to me that such information could be beneficial to the BeerSlugger faithful.  I apologize for this indiscretion, and will be sure to keep you informed moving forward.  Please note I have a very refined palate, so your experience may be different.  With time your palate can also be refined…

Alma de Cuba

1623 Walnut Street,

Philadelphia, PA 19103

(215) 988-1799

http://www.almadecubarestaurant.com

Synopsis: I thought that Alma de Cuba had both excellent food and service.  The portions were adequately sized for two people to share and were reasonably priced (date night???).  The dining area and the restrooms were appropriately clean.  I thought there was little room for improvement in the friendliness and professionalism of members of the staff.  Overall a physically appealing restaurant with excellent food and service, and I plan on returning in the future.  I would not hesitate to recommend this restaurant to someone else based upon this experience.

Meal: Royal Palm Dates, Beef Tenderloin, Sweet Plantains and Dulce De Leche Crepes.  I was a little apprehensive about the almond-stuff dates wrapped in bacon with blue cheese; however, it was surprisingly cohesive and more  bland than dominated by the blue cheese.  The Dates were also a small dish, which was the perfect start to a large meal.  The Beef Tenderloin, which I typically get here, was great as always.  I asked for the temperature to be medium/medium-rare, and the Beef was a little more rare that I typically appreciate.  None-the-less, the menu has a slight change incorporated a crab salad instead of the website indicated sweet corn humita with chipolte sauce.  The server recommended the Dulce de Leche Crepes for dessert, and I welcomed the change – as I usually get the Chocolate Cigar.  The truffled streusel really won me over on this dessert, and if you’re not looking of the wow factor of the Cigar – this is a great option.

Booze: Mojito Classico was pretty firm on the rum flavor, while the Mojito Suave was much more sweet.  Gentlemen, enjoy the Classico and suggest your lady-friend try the Suave…

Service: Lauren was the waitress and Willy was behind the bar.  Both went well out of their way to accommodate and please.  Willy muddles a mean Mojito by the way…

Rating: On a scale of 0 to 6 spoons, I give Alma de Cuba a 4.5.  The plantains were a little dry, and my gamble on the dates wasn’t exactly a home-run.  But still the tenderloin, dessert and staff were in no way a disappointment.  The perfect venue for a semi-trendy, semi-upscale date night.

Dear President Obama: Please let us smoke Cuban cigars...

Apple's market Share is up around 10% now.

By: Billy BeerSlugger

Something I’ve argued for a while with my friends who use an Apple Macintosh (Mac) computer and a real problem I’ve had with the “Mac vs. PC” commercials which have come out is the notion that Mac’s “don’t get viruses”.  Though I believe the Mac vs PC commercials point out Windows propensity for being “more vulnerable to viruses” it is a pretty subjective statement and not the whole truth.

The estimates for the number of Malware (Viruses, Spyware etc.) threats geared toward a Windows environment is around 1.8 million while compared to only a couple hundred aimed at the Mac. So by looking at those numbers, Windows has a lot more to worry about and a lot more to stay on top of than Mac in terms of threats. The disparity in the number of threats from Mac to PC is directly correlated to the dominant market share PC’s hold over Mac’s.  It’s only logical to think that a person who makes viruses/malware is releasing them for the most part to make money stealing information or just in it for the ego boost of disrupting millions of computers (sick I know but it happens).  So either way, the maker of the virus is naturally going to target it to the largest audience possible, this being the PC market.

Given this I do agree that PC’s are “more vulnerable to viruses” given the abundance of threats when compared to the Mac , however, that doesn’t necessarily make a Macintosh safer than a PC. In a Wired Magazine Post I read a month or two ago it describes the various ways that a Mac is actually less secure than it’s PC counterpart. It also goes on to say that “Their good track record is more a matter of luck in small market share”, which has been my argument for some time.

Something else I’d like to bring up that goes along with the substantially larger market share the PC has is the amount of Computer Illiterate users who take a perfectly good system out of the box and can turn it into something almost unusable inside of 3 months.  Letting their Anti-Virus subscription run out, downloading fake Computer Cleaners that claim your PC is infected only to then be infected by the downloaded software.  Adding 5 or 6 Poker games which are notorious for containing complete crap or downloading porn of a Hollywood Starlet which they must accept to install infected software to see and then ultimately be disappointed to find the starlet never even got naked in front of a camera. I can’t tell you how many of these inept people’s computers I’ve fixed for these reasons and while it does keep me in extra money if they were just a little smarter and cared a bit more they wouldn’t have 90% of their computer problems.  It’s amazing how many people don’t renew their Anti-virus subscription for $30 a year and instead opt to have their computer fixed for $40 an hour. Same goes for Mac users too!  Apple recommends the use of Anti-virus as well and I’ve seen Mac systems (a client’s work computer in particular) pretty much crippled and non-responsive.

If I were Apple, I wouldn’t be letting my marketing department brag about how the competition is susceptible to viruses when they’re not exactly secure themselves.  They may find that a brilliant (but obviously socially challenged) programmer could stay home on both weekend nights and devise a virus which could wreak havoc on Mac systems for just the notoriety of it between him and his nerd friends.

This wasn’t intended to be a Mac vs PC discussion at all. I am just trying to point out the flaws and half truths that are being spun by Marketing Firms and thus taken as gospel and regurgitated by the some parts of the computing community. However, you read this so please know that the real geeks, the hardcore computer enthusiasts and power users shun both Mac and Windows.  They opt for the Linux OS whether Red Hat, Ubuntu or another iteration.

Never bitter.

By: Billy BeerSlugger

It’s topical and it’s a question everyone has pondered from time to time.  There’s a lot of theories out there, a lot of conjecture about what is and what is not.  What follows is an in depth and logical look at the theories and rumors that your friends and colleagues have been debating since the dawn of time, Is Keystone Light the exact same thing as Coors Light.

The Facts:

• Coors Light and Keystone Light are brewed by the same company, Coors Brewing Company.
• Both beers have an Alcohol by Volume of 4.2%.
• Both beers share a similar can if not the exact same can dimensions.
• Coors Light is generally more expensive than Keystone Light.
• Beer Can labels are inked directly onto the can before it is filled, not after.

The Theories:

• Keystone Light is just Coors Light cans which were dented and then re-branded as the cheaper Keystone Light.
• Keystone Light and Coors Light are the exact same beer just marketed in two different brands.

BeerSlugger Analysis:

One thing I know personally is that Keystone Light does not taste exactly like Coors Light.  It tastes similar but not the same. The Coors Light can now has the “Mountains Turn Blue” aspect to it which I’m going to venture to guess would need to be removed from the Coors Light can if it was re-branded to become Keystone Light.

From a financial aspect, it costs money to re-ink a can thus pretty much debunking the theory of Keystone Light being dented Coors Light cans.  It does not make financial sense to spend the money and manpower to re-ink beers only to sell them at a lower price (Keystone Light being cheaper than Coors Light).

I doesn’t make sense to brew the same beer, give it two different brands and sell them for two different prices.  That’s two different can inking departments, two different beer box orders with two distinctly different graphics on them.  If there’s one thing I know about printing, the more  you order of something, the cheaper it is.

When it comes down to it, breweries are in business to make money.  So why would Coors spend more money to produce two different brands of the same beer when they could spend less money and have one brand, the more expensive one I might add? Why would Coors re-ink dented Coors Light cans at a cost to the brewery only to sell them at a lower price? Why not just sell the dented Coors Light cans at a lower price and skip the costly extra step?

There’s no doubt that Keystone Light is in the same family as Coors Light but they are hardly identical twins.  I think from the logistics and costs of running two brand names of the same beer or re-inking dented beer cans to sell at a lower price I have pretty much laid these rumors to rest. It’s not like Coors is having a hard time selling Coors Light either even at it’s higher price tag.  Why mess with success and profit by taking extra steps to make less money?

Sorry Key Light conspiracy theorists, it just doesn’t make sense business-wise and I’m fairly certain Coors has stayed in business since 1873 by making the kinds of decisions which make more money, not less.