Posted on

Magic and Russell Simmons – Taking it to the Little Guy

By: Billy Beerslugger

Recently I’ve seen both Magic Johnson and Russell Simmons promoting various products and companies on commercials.  Magic Johnson is promoting a “Money Now Loan” for tax service Jackson Hewitt which is essentially a loan against your tax refund.  Russell Simmons (founder of Def Jam) is promoting the “Rush Card” which is billed as a pre-paid credit card but actually amounts to a debit card.

Whats is surprising in both instances is that both services/products are either unnecessary or detrimental to the communities that they champion, lower income people of color.

Where the Magic Happens: There is coming legislation in the government on so called “Predatory Loans” which are short-term and high-cost.  In this category are “Payday Loans” which is an advance on your paycheck and these tax-refund loans.  In Magic Johnson’ s case he is advocating to get an advance on your tax refund.  Seems harmless enough, I mean it’s Magic Johnson, one of the most stand up black guys of all time, he’s got HIV for Christ Sakes why would he be giving you a raw deal?  What the people who use this service fail to recognize is that annual interest rates on these types of loans can range from 50% to nearly 500% (Jackson Hewitt charges Jackson Hewitt charges fees with an APR of either 134% or 140%.).  This scam is even better than the “Payday Loans” because they are backed by the Federal Tax refund they just did for the victim client.  Basically Jackson Hewitt is going to get their money.  And you will never guess who these loans are targeted to.  Yep upper class white people.  Nah, (JK : just kidding),   Magic Johnson appears in television ads, radio spots on urban stations and billboards in lower income communities.

I think the best part about the whole thing is that Jackson Hewitt’s website offers a 20 percent discount for customers who order Johnson’s book, 32 Ways to be a Champion in Business.

Here’s an excerpt from the book:

Chapter 3: Use your reputation as a person of high moral fiber to take advantage of people who don’t know any better.  The more you pretend to be helping these people the more they will believe you and the more money you will get.  In addition to taking advantage of them, get them to buy your book about how you’re such a good business person.  To increase book sales couple the purchase of the book with a discount on one of the unscrupulous services you endorse.

(Yea I went there, unscrupulous,  look it up bitches.  And no a Thesaurus is not a Dinosaur as I recently found out.)

I digress, back to the story.  The IRS states that about 8.7 million people took out these tax refund loans last year resulting in about 1 billion dollars in fees.  Around 5.8 million of these people are recipients of the Earned Income Tax Credit (EITC) which helps people with low incomes and is the govenments most effective anti-poverty program. Consumer advocates estimate that about $523 million was drained from the EITC program by refund anticipation loan fees in 2007.

Jackson Hewitt  has been the target of several government lawsuits for its abusive practices. In 2007, the California Attorney General won a $5 million settlement from the company for violating state and federal laws in marketing its tax refund loans to low income customers.

So not only are Magic and Jackson Hewitt fucking these low income people in the ass, they are fucking the American taxpayers who are supplementing these low income people in the ass.  I just hope Magic is wearing a condom.

Russell Simmons, Entreponinja:

Russell Simmons makes money on everything.  He’s a true mogul in every sense of the word.  Def Jam, Phat Farm Clothing line among other ventures.  Russell in the past couple years has been touting the “Rush Card”.  It’s a prepaid debit card for people with bad credit touted as a tool to financial empowerment.  These cards have an activation fee of $19.95 and a $1.95 ATM withdraw fee (in addition to the actual ATM fees) among other fees.  As far as I can tell there is no interest applied to purchases which is better than other prepaid credit cards. I guess one selling point is that it is free to cash checks which most people without checking account will have to pay to get their checks cashed at a check cashing place.

What I don’t get is that people can just go to the bank and get a debit card for free.  Just because you have bad credit does not mean you will be denied a checking account.  Having delinquent checks may preclude you from acquiring a checking account though.  If that’s the case I would suggest Russell Simmons go on TV and tell people to make good on those bounced checks instead of making money off of them.  If you’re really trying to empower the low income and African American community tell them the truth.  The truth is they don’t need this card.   They need to get a checking account and a debit card that’s free.

However, I guess you can’t really hate on these guys, America was built on screwing over the little people.  They’re just two more in a long line that has sold out for a buck.

Posted on

Polygamy and The Girls Next Door

By: Billy Beerslugger

You gotta give it up to Hugh Hefner. Dude is like 80+ years old and pretty much has had any girl he ever wanted.  He’s the founder of Playboy magazine and has been male whoring it up ever since.  He lives in a mansion with a several “girlfriends” and given the show “The Girls Next Door”, you have to assume he takes heaping doses of Viagra and lays down so these young gold diggers can ride him until satisfaction.  And who knows maybe he bangs other girls too besides his girlfriends.

Recently he got 3 brand new girlfriends (video below) as the old ones (one of whom got married to Eagles receiver Hank Basket) moved on.

I’ve been thinking about this for awhile and besides the moral implications of glamorizing the life of a playboy bunny to 11 year old girls on the E network, what about the fact that he lives with 3 “girlfriends”.  I like the show Big Love, Bill Paxton has 3 fictitious wives in this show, all of whom live in the 3 houses right next door to one another.  This 3 wife, multi-child family depicted in the show is considered Polygamist.

Polygamy is the practice of being married to more than one spouse at a time.  You may remember the April 2008 raid on a polygamist compound in Texas which was carried by every major news network and talk show for a good period of time last year.

That compound was raided because there was alleged child abuse occurring there and in general on these types of compounds it seems as if girls are forced to marry early into Polygamist families.

Obviously I’m not saying Hugh Hefner is raping little girls, but what is the fundamental difference between the actors pretending to live together in Big Love and Hefner and partners actually living together in The Girls Next Door?  In both instances 3 women share one man and engage in co-habitation.

In the Big Love scenario the extended family must try and hide their situation from the community for fear of being ostracized.  In the girls next door this scenario is championed.  It’s great the girls get naked, take pictures, go on trips together and generally have a worry free life.  The obvious difference is that Hef is not married to the “girlfriends” but if you are living with, banging and providing for 3 women that’s about as close as you can come to marriage without a certificate.

Now I’m not telling people how to live their life.  Hef wants to live with and be intimate with 3 women who want the same so be it.  A woman wants to live with and get rocked by 10 men who want the same, I’m all for that too.  All I’m saying is don’t glamorize one scenario in the media and shun the other.

And to elaborate further on my “Kids have it easy nowadays” rant, why couldn’t the E channel and the Girls Next Door be on when I was in my mid teens.  I was stuck spanking it to scrambled porn on cable and fake nudie pics of Sandra Bullock I found on CompuServe.  Every show these chicks get butt naked and E just blurs out the nipple and ass crack.  Then you got whorebag Kim Kardashian doing the same thing the next half hour.  But shit what teenage male today is watching TV when there’s free streaming video porn on the internet?

Posted on

The Lost City of the Incas – Machu Picchu

By: Luan Zuccarello

Machu Picchu is an ancient Inca site located in the mountains of Peru and is definitely one of the first things to do on my Bucket List.  It was built around 1460 AD but was abandoned 100 years later due mostly to smallpox.  The architectural and agricultural techniques put forth by Incas were revolutionary and are the basis for these industries today.  Machu Picchu was built by using polished dry-stone walls.  These walls were put together using the technique “ashlar”, in which blocks of stone are cut to fit together tightly WITHOUT MORTAR!  The Incas were the best stone masons in the world and is said that a blade of grass could not even fit between the stones.  I don’t know about you but I can’t even buy a TV stand from IKEA and put it together, not to mention make it last for over 500 years!

Machu Picchu is said to be a holy site with most of their structures pointed to important Incan astrological signs.  One structure the Intihuatana Stone was said to hold the sun in place and is arranged to point directly at the sun during the winter solstice.  Along with being a spiritual place, Machu Picchu was well fortified atop a high mountain plateau.  The city sits in a saddle between two mountains, with a commanding view down into two valleys and a nearly impassable mountain at its back. It has a water supply from springs that cannot be blocked easily, and enough land to grow food for about four times as many people as ever lived there.  The city was built on levels or platforms that allowed rain fall to pour down and collect at the lower levels.  The Incas planted their crops this way.  The crops that needed more rain fall and water at the bottom and the ones that needed less were planted at the top.  This led to fertile ground, less land erosion, and less work to maintain their food.

In 2007 Machu Picchu was voted as one of the new 7 Wonders of the World.  There is also a legend that Incan women were the ones who made the beer or “chica”.  The women were bigger drunks then the men, often hosting wild parties.  Not any woman could brew beer, she had to be chosen for this task based on beauty and nobility.  The brewery used to get so hot that most of the time these “brew-masters” had to remove their clothing and work in the nude.  Damn….What I wouldn’t give to have been an Inca.

Posted on

Ethanol – Drink it or put it in your car?

corn

By: Billy Beerslugger

A couple of weeks ago i was talking to some random person at a bar.  Somehow we got into talking about the environment and in particular gasoline prices, U.S. natural gas reserves and Ethanol.

If everyone switched to using Ethanol instead of gasoline she said would reduce greenhouse gasses by a shit ton.  With Ethanol and those crazy incandescent  light bulbs we could basically forget about global warming.

I’ll admit I fell for this myth as well in the early to mid 2000’s.  I was thinking if I threw some money into one of these Midwest cornfield turned ethanol plant I could make some real money when this whole going green thing really took off.

What I didn’t know is that it takes more energy to make a gallon of Ethanol than the gallon of Ethanol actually provides.  You see Ethanol is made (primarily) from Corn.  This corn has to be  harvested by huge farm equipment which runs on diesel fuel.  The harvested corn then goes through a process including Fermentation, Distillation and Dehydration.  This cumulative process consumes a lot of energy.

The resulting product, “Ethanol” holds approximately 34% less energy by volume than regular gasoline.  Couple that with it’s general higher price (on the East and West Coast) and treehuggers are not only paying more for less Miles Per Gallon but are also producing a whole bunch of Greenhouse Gasses in the process.

“Researchers at the University of California at Berkeley recently examined six major studies of ethanol production and concluded that using ethanol made from corn instead of gasoline would lead to a moderate 13 percent reduction in greenhouse emissions.” (cite).

However, using a significant portion of the U.S. corn crop for energy production drives up corn based food products.  Supply and Demand, Action and Reaction.

Now I’m all for anything that lowers our dependence on foreign oil and if technology advances sufficiently this may be a viable option in the future.  Sadly though, right now, it may be doing more harm than good.

That’s not to say that Ethanol is not useful.  Far from it.  Back in my halcyon collegiate days we took a 40 gallon trashcan, put a fresh trashbag in there, filled it up with water from the shower, threw about a billion packets of Kool Aid in there and dumped a couple of handles of Ethanol (commonly sold in Liquor stores as Grain Alcohol) and you got yourself a kick ass party. Freshman girls were amazed at how great it tasted and Grain Alcohol is a great at lowering inhibitions.

I remember one time when I was dared to do a Gator Bomb.  A shot of Grain Alcohol dropped in to a larger Gatorade bottle and chugged.  While this did cause temporary blindness, when I got my sight back and picked myself off the ground I gotta say I was really fucked up.

In summary, Ethanol may be a feasible fuel in the future.  Today, however, I suggest drinking it rather than putting it in your car.

Posted on

A lighter shade of green

styroBy Gene Yuss

We see a lot of “Go Green” propaganda urging you to save the environment. As if I have time to worry about the latest drive to save the whales and kill the babies that the liberals are slamming down my throat…

Any way, some of the statistics are so hilarious that it almost pushes me to the point of environmental unfriendliness in Dennis Leary’s “Asshole” (FYI – Rescue Me is a dominant show and season five premiers 4/7/09).

Statistic on a Go Green Flyer: “It takes a styrofoam cup over 500 years to biodegrade.”

Fact: Styrofoam was invented by the good people at the Dow company around 50 years ago. Initial research began in the early 1900s when The Dow Chemical Company invented a process for extruding polystyrene to achieve a closed cell foam that resists moisture.

Trademark Warning: Today, the Dow Styrofoam brand includes a variety of building materials (including insulated sheathing and housewrap), pipe insulation and floral and craft products. But there isn’t a coffee cup, cooler or packaging material in the world made from Styrofoam. These common disposable items are typically white in color and are made of expanded polystyrene beads. They do not provide the insulating value, compressive strength or moisture resistance properties of Styrofoam products. In order to protect the Dow trademarked name “Styrofoam“, such other material should be referred to by the generic term “foam.”

Conclusion 1: Hippies please watch your use of Styrofoam. Styrofoam keeps you warm in the winter while you pass around your peace pipes. Foam is what I waste like it is going out of style. I waste a lot more foam today (among many other non-biodegradable items) to make up for the slack created by environmentalists. Take that Al Gore!

Conclusion 2: If you continue to use the trademarked Styrofoam I’m going to turn you into Dow’s law department. They may only get your hacky-sack and Grateful Dead albums in subsequent lawsuits, but The Man will vanquish his enemies!

Conclusion 3: Stop making up statistics! It was only invented 50 years ago. You can’t possibly know it takes 500 years. That number either came to you in a psychedelic trip, you got the first foam cup ever and it just degraded (not to mention that you put an extra zero on the flyer), or you just want to impress intelligent people with numbers. You may have fooled Cameron Diaz, but you’re Trippin’ if you think you’re going to get me…

Posted on

3rd Grade Grammar Lesson

By: Billy Beerslugger

You’re Vs. Your:

Your: Your is a second person possessive adjective.  Used in a sentence, “It’s not cheating cause’ it’s your dog”.

You’re: You’re is the contraction made from You and Are.  It’s easy enough to understand. Used in a sentence, “You’re a complete whore.”  Notice you can also say “You are a complete whore.”.

Their vs They’re vs There:

Their: Is third person possessive adjective. “Of or relating to them or themselves especially as possessors, agents, or objects of an action.”  Used in a sentence, ” Bob and Jim are great drinking buddies.   I really enjoy their company. ”

They’re: They’re is the contraction between They and Are.  It’s easy enough to understand.  “Anna has great tit’s.  They’re amazing.”

There: Is an Adverb and deals with a place whether concrete or abstract.  Used in a sentence(s) “Your penis is not going in there.  My ass is exit only.”.

For your own edification please learn the proper use of these words.  Their pretty important.  I know you crazy kids and you’re crazy text messages throw grammar out the window, but if your writing an email or blog post make sure your cognizant of which one of these homophone’s your supposed to use.


Posted on

Mass Shootings …. Mass Media

By: Billy Beerslugger

In the last month or so about 47 people have been shot and killed in mass shootings by multiple gun persons.  American media picks up on this stuff and runs with it for days at a time in each case.  Updates, bio’s, theorizing, re-enacting, interviews and opinions litter the airways.

Now don’t get me wrong, it is terrible and a tragedy when American lives are lost for no reason.  I am in no way a fan of senseless violence.  However, do I really need to know about this?  Do i need to know 5 people were shot 7 states away from me by a crazed gunman?  Yes I’m guessing it is important to alert the people occupying the town it occured in about this situation, but why the hell does America need to know.  I would say in a vast majority of these cases, thats exactly what the gunperson wants, national recognition.  Shoot a bunch of people, go out in a blaze of glory and get your picture plastered on every news station in the country as well as everyone knowing your full (including middle) name.  Forever known as a crazy badass dude that shot as many people as he could before shooting himself or getting taken out by SWAT team.

All this oversaturated coverage of these events only serves to invite more and more of these tragedies.  Some misguided person see’s this crap on TV and decides they will do the same thing.  Makes me think of when the government shuts down some illegal file sharing site, 10 more pop up and thousands more people check out illegal file sharing sites because they saw them on TV.  Effectively defeating the purpose of what the government set out to do.

So why do people need to know about a mass shooting?  Why is there incessant mass media coverage of it?  Do people enjoy seeing other people in pain?  I certainly don’t unless it’s the show Intervention (my guilty pleasure). Is it empathy?  Are they afraid something like this could happen in their town?  Well I’ve got news for those people.  You could walk out of your house and slip and fall and die.  Every time you get into a car you run a risk.  What are you going to do not go out and live in a paralyzing fear of the outside world?

Yes these events are news worthy but are not all consuming. There’s other stuff going on in the world.  In third world countries 10 people being shot doesn’t mean shit.  It happens all the time.  People die.. life goes on.

So again, I’m not saying it’s not a terrible tragedy that people were shot for no good reason, I just don’t want to be inundated with the details of it.  Tell me it happened and move on.

Posted on

Things I’ve noticed

young money, dipset, thats what this is and if i aint good lookin you can bet my bitch is
"...if i aint good lookin you can bet my bitch is."

By: Billy Beerslugger

It was revealed that the opening number on American Idol where all remaining contestants sing and dance to choreography is in fact lip-synced.  Apparently they do sing when they are up there singularly though.  That’s a big fuck you to whoever told me they don’t lip-sync on that show.  It’s up there with Lawrence Welk and American Bandstand now.  Who wants to watch these nobody’s sing anyway?  You want a singer you go out and get Celine Dion, that woman crushes it.

In the past couple weeks i’ve seen Lil Wayne and Bob Wow on ESPN talking about sports.  Now I’m not sure who’s idea this is but what exactly does some dude that drink’s codine cough syrup concoctions and the artist formerly know as Lil’ Bow Wow have to do with me getting my sports news.  I care about their opinions about as much as I care about who wins American idol.  If these guys are any indication of the type of credentials needed to appear on ESPN, Screech Powers from Saved By The Bell should be allowed to go on.  Steve Urkel too.

Recently i tried Pantene Pro V shampoo because there was no other shampoo available.  I’ll tell you what I don’t feel like less of a man. I just feel like a man with really soft and manageble hair.

Posted on

American Commerce Building – 18th and Arch

An arttist rendering of American Commerce Center
An artist rendering of American Commerce Center

By: Billy Beerslugger

Sitting currently at 18th and Arch is a parking lot.  I know because I’ve thrown up there.  Some people have pretty big plans for this parking lot.  Developers have proposed a skyscaper which would be the 3rd tallest building in the United States according to their website.

The American Commerce Building would be 1,500ft high toping the Comcast Building by about 500ft. It will boast a restaurant, 26-story hotel,  three to six stories of street-accessible retail, two roof gardens and a 63-story office tower.  The observation deck would be the tallest in the city and probably where Police Commissioner Gordon will put the Bat Signal.

On Decemer 11th 2008 city council approved zoning changes that will allow the developers to start construction as early as Spring of this year.

simcity

I ‘m Mc’Lovin all the huge ass buildings going up all over the city. Reminds of Sim City 2000 when all your commercial zones start popping up skyscrapers all over the place and the city is officially major.

If Philadelphia was a playable scenario in Sim City 2000, what would your first move be?

Check out the Image Gallery on their website, the place looks pretty awesome.

Posted on

The Age Old Debate Cougar v. Tiger v. Cub (Part 3 of 3)

by F. Galvin

The cub – young, hot, naïve but difficult to train

The cub ranges in age from 18-24. The cub is full of energy, still has no worries and is only concerned with getting wasted, getting a 35k job and hanging with the girls. Typically guys are hot topics of conversations but put guys on the backburner when they feel like when they feel like hanging with the girls. Do not be fooled they are clingy as shit when they are bored and text you until there thumbnails cracks.

Cubs travel in packs. They are usually the most wasted group of people at the bar who are loud, outrageous, annoying but are also the best looking groups in the bar. If your out with a group of friends, cubs are usually the preferred group for that precise reason.

How to pick up a cub? Well its a lot like picking up a cougar but cheaper. Instead of buying her a grey goose martini, if you buy her a cherry bomb at 2am your good. Give her compliments just like cougar. Cubs are use to college guys who are dicks. What do you do? Give her the compliments, then fire in a cheap shot jab. Tell her she has sexy eyes but then make fun of her sleeveless nurtleneck. This is the way you seem sweet and sexy but also funny and edgy. Best of both worlds, a really nice guy who is funny is better than another total dick.

Then show the cub the difference of her being with you than a college kid. Buy her a couple of beers. Hear me a COUPLE. Don’t overdue it, do not be a chump. If you go too far a cub will take advantage of you. Yes, she is young and naïve, but she is also broke so she will take full advantage of your wallet. Before you buy her one miller lite draft make sure she has some interest in you. Make her laugh a couple of times. Touch her waist and shoulder to see how she reacts. Also, if she grabs your arm you are in. Really, this goes for all breeds but is the most common in cubs. Hear me, if she grabs or rubs your upper arm or thigh you are in.

Where to find cubs? Any bar with a special, in the city or outside the city. You will get a better quality of cubs in the city but the ones frequenting the rat holes outside the city are usually easier. From Labor Day until early May, any major city or college town is packed with cubs, most of which are tired of college guys and want someone more mature. (Even though your not, your just smarter.) From Memorial Day to Labor Day shore or beach is pulsating with cubs. This could be trickier though, they are on vacation and usually want to land the hottest guy possible. Counterpoint, if you land one, you are probably getting laid because they could care less, they are on vacation.

Relationships… This could be annoying. As I mentioned above once you get into a relationship with a cub they could get clingy. They really are not as busy as a tiger or cougar so in their spare time they may bother the shit out of you. Also, hanging out with her younger guys friends may drive you to homicide. If you are forced to go to a party with her, drink heavily because in between some douche taking shit on how much more he can drink than you and watching how annoying and sloppy her friends are, you may want to poke your eyes out. The perk to dating a cub is the sex. They are usually always DTF. Also, they are easy to please. You usually don’t have to take them anywhere nice and when you do, it is “the nicest thing any guy has every done for them.”

Cougars, tigers, and cubs all have their perks and downers. It is up to you what you want to deal with. I prefer the challenge of the cubs but really nothing beats a cougar story. Sorry tigers, I don’t want a demanding girl someone else already decided they didn’t want. I’m out.