By: Billy Beerslugger
It was revealed that the opening number on American Idol where all remaining contestants sing and dance to choreography is in fact lip-synced. Apparently they do sing when they are up there singularly though. That’s a big fuck you to whoever told me they don’t lip-sync on that show. It’s up there with Lawrence Welk and American Bandstand now. Who wants to watch these nobody’s sing anyway? You want a singer you go out and get Celine Dion, that woman crushes it.
In the past couple weeks i’ve seen Lil Wayne and Bob Wow on ESPN talking about sports. Now I’m not sure who’s idea this is but what exactly does some dude that drink’s codine cough syrup concoctions and the artist formerly know as Lil’ Bow Wow have to do with me getting my sports news. I care about their opinions about as much as I care about who wins American idol. If these guys are any indication of the type of credentials needed to appear on ESPN, Screech Powers from Saved By The Bell should be allowed to go on. Steve Urkel too.
Recently i tried Pantene Pro V shampoo because there was no other shampoo available. I’ll tell you what I don’t feel like less of a man. I just feel like a man with really soft and manageble hair.