The Sham Wow dude

shamwowBy: Billy Beerslugger

So I’m pretty sure you’ve seen the commercials for the Sham Wow.  It seems to be a pretty amazing product.  It holds a whole bunch of liquid, supposedly doesn’t drip and is generally way better than paper towels.

Well, late last month The Sham Wow spokesperson was arrested on a felony battery charge in South Beach during an altercation with an alleged hooker in his hotel room.  Vince Shlomi told police he had paid the hooker $1,000 for straight sex after she propositioned him.

Allegedly when Vince kissed the prostitute, she bit his tongue and would not let go.  At this time  Shlomi began punching the hooker who eventually released the tongue.  The hooker apparently received facial fractures and lacerations.

Man, how pissed are the people at ShamWow about this?  Your spokesperson gets arrested for not only getting a prostitute but also beating the shit out of her.  And what about him kissing the prostitute?  I’m no hooker aficionado but I’m thinking it’s a big no-no to mouth kiss a person in the sex trade.  She probably just had some other dudes dick in her mouth.

Further, for the amount of money ($1,000), he spent on the hooker, I’m thinking he could have easily at least got some decent tail at a South Beach bar.    I don’t care how ugly the guy is, he’s the ShamWow dude, he’s got money, get bottle service somewhere, invite some pretty girls over and keep the drinks flowing and some chick would bang the guy. If nothing for just to tell your friends the story about, “I banged the ShamWow dude”.  He must be just plain lazy.

I’ve got some stories about South Beach, but that’s for a later time.

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