By: Luan Zuccarello
Let’s just say for the sake of argument that reincarnation exists and you have your choice of who or what you are going to be in your next life. That question is too easy for me and number one on my big board is the artist formally known as Brian Austin Green now just Brian Green. Think about how cool it would have been growing up on Beverley Hills 90210. Every day you’re hanging out with Shannen Doherty and Jennie Garth. Your learning about the birds and the bees from Luke Perry, and when you get bored with that you go bang a couple extras in your trailer. Then Tiffani Amber Thiessen decides to join the show and tries to make over her girl next door image by playing a slut!
Ahhh there is a God! Seriously every guy between the ages of 24 and 30 has choked their chicken to her multiple times. Imagine “being there” for her during this transition. He dated her for a couple years then moved on to Vanessa Marcil when she came on 90210. For those who don’t know Vanessa Marcil – first shame on you and second she is of the TV show “Vegas” fame and plays Nick Cage’s girlfriend in “The Rock”. Great scene in “The Rock” where she is riding him like a champ and Nick Cage says like only he can say “Oh yeah. The pigtails are very naughty. Naughty! Naughty!” So he fucks her for awhile, screws up and has a kid with her. Then like every kind, gentle, providing guy he breaks up with her for Megan Fox. Do you blame him? The guy has money, possibly the best kill count ever recorded, stories upon stories and all this at the tender age of 32.
So Beersluggers, I leave you with these questions to ponder: What or who are you going to be in your next life? Who has the best kill count of all time?
Hands down Burt Reynolds has the best Kill Count of all time. A Close Second is Bob Barker. Bob Barker was spackling his Man Juice all over the bedroom sets The Price is Right was giving away to contestants. I hear he personally picked and banged all the showgirls on the show for like 30 years.