By: Billy BeerSlugger
So Luan Zuccarello and I were at McGillan’s last night to take advantage of .25 cent wings and $5 pitchers and to watch Antonio Bastardo, in his major league debut, mow down the San Diego Padres. McGillan’s is one of my favorite bars and the oldest bar in the city of Philadelphia (a post dedicated to McGillans in the future).
So we’re sitting there watching the game after eating our wings, just Muggin’ and Sluggin’ (pouring beer from a pitcher into a mug and downing that beer as fast as possible), when a girl comes up and introduces herself. She’s about 5’5”, a Philly Police Officer and after a brief introduction mentions she’s “Gay as Shit”. You might have gathered that because she looked like she could be playing catcher on a girls softball team.
The real reason she came over was to try and get us to go talk to her friend a couple of tables away that she was sitting at. Now we discussed this and it was somewhat amateur and akin to when Rudy Ruettiger (of movie Rudy fame) had to go out and try to pick up girls for his friend D-Bob, but amusing nonetheless.
There really wasn’t any way we were going to get up and chat with the girl two tables away but I did have a great conversation with the Lesbian.
I asked:
“If you were tied down in a bed and blindfolded, I was completely clean shaven and I went down and ate you out,
1) Would you know it was a man?
2) Would I get you off, considering my skills in the art of Cunnilingus?”
“Great Question”, she replied. Really didn’t offer up an answer but from the pause she took to think about it I’m pretty sure she went home and had a dream about it last night.
This is something I have just added to my life goals, right under being picked from the studio audience to compete on the Price is Right, bang a semi-attractive lesbian.
She did come back with the question, “If you were blindfolded and bound and a guy was blowing you would you know it?” I told her a blow job is a blow job and as long as the guy didn’t act like a faggot about it, it was all the same (please read the sarcasm here). The lesbian is now laughing her ass off.
This is my standard question to any lesbian I meet in a bar and is a great ice-breaker. Please share any other lesbian stories or pickup lines you may have.