Breast Tattoo’s: Just Stop It

breast-tattoos-0708-lgBy: Billy BeerSlugger

I’ve been a fan of the female breast all my life.  From the time I was an infant to this very second, there has not been a day gone by that I have not thought about the abundant beauty that a woman’s opulent chubbies can bring.

It is in men’s DNA to find these womanly chest appendages appealing in nature. Large breasts are supposed to note a higher fertility rate and thus a reason why we men (as animals) are so attracted to them even subconsciously.

Now I’m all for art and it should be taught in schools and all that and I’m all for a womans right to do what they will with their bodies whether it’s abortion or prostitution.  However, do we really need to deface one of the greatest parts of the female body with a tattoo?

I’m not really anti-tattoo even though I myself probably will never get one but can’t women just stick to the tramp-stamp on the back or the shoulder tattoo?  I really don’t care where the tattoo is as long as it’s not on your breast.

The tattoo may seem like a great idea at the time but breasts do tend to sag as you get older.  That rose you got on your left breast may turn into a really really long-stem rose by the time you’re 40, and no one wants to see that.

I’m walking down Chestnut St. today getting lunch and I see a early to mid 30’s lady wearing business attire walking toward me and I’m checking her out then as I get closer she’s got the Eve paw print tattoo on both breasts and I am immediately turned off.  Just another example of perfectly good breasts being ruined by a naive 20 something trying to piss off her dad or trying to show some individuality.  Congratulations, you’ve succeeded in your efforts to look like a skank.

So this is my public service announcement for breast tattoo’s, just don’t do it.