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The Things We Leave Behind
By: Billy BeerSlugger
You know everyone goes through breakups in their life, some are more amicable than others. Sometimes you end up getting back together with that person but more often than not you broke up for a reason.
You may have went through the stage in the breakup where you are either asking for or returning stuff that your former significant other had possession of; Clothes, furniture etc. What often gets overlooked is the more raunchy of items you may have left behind, more specifically for the guy: Condoms.
There’s nothing really worse than leaving a fresh box of condoms at your ex’s place pre-breakup. With everything that is going on between you two at the time it’s easy to forget about those little guys in the drawer of the nightstand next to her bed. When you do get around to remembering about them there’s usually a standard response…. “FUCK”.
I gotta say I’ve been subjected to this situation a couple of times in my travels and it never puts a smile on your face knowing you just paid $18 for the family pack of prophylactics just to make it convenient for the rebound guy to bang your ex.
Plus it’s not like you can ask for those condoms back. I mean you can but you’re probably not getting them back and if you do there’s definitely going to be less condoms in the box then you left there even if it’s just her fucking with your head. The best move is to pretend they don’t exist and quietly be pissed off about it.
What’s worse is if you get back with the girl (even if only for a brief period) and end up going to bed with her, those rubbers, the ones you bought are gone or severely depleted. The good news is that the last guy may have left a couple for you to return the favor.
These are some things to think about after you’ve just went through a breakup or are just starting to see this new girl who magically has condoms by her bedside. Someone buys the condoms and i’d say 98% of the time it’s not the girl.
Shakira seems fun!
By: Billy BeerSlugger
I’m not too sure what Shakira has been doing since her song where she shakes her ass a lot in the video back in like 2001 but her newest song (and apparently video which I was unaware they still made) “She Wolf” takes that sexy Shakira concept and turns up the volume up 1 notch past the maximum.
I’m not sure how exactly feel about the song itself but Shakira dancing around whilst scantily clad in a cage is pretty nice. What I found pretty amazing was the full on crotch shot she gives away 50 seconds into the video. Beyonce wears the same kind of clothes but usually manages not to just gratuitously throw in crotch shots like free samples of the Crystal Light at the supermarket.
Listen, I’m not complaining or anything, I think most if not all hot girls should voluntarily flash some beav while wearing coochie cutters. Kind of makes me miss the days when videos were the predominant force on MTV and there was a reason to like a song not just for it’s music for the visual experience too.
Not sure how long this video will remain active but here’s another link just in case it goes down.
Soap – It’s necessary but what is it?
By: Billy BeerSlugger
So I’m taking a shower this morning and I’m in there just suds’n it up with my Irish Spring soap bar and it kind of dawns on me that I’m not really sure how soap works. Yea I know it supposed to get you clean but how and why?
Hopefully you’re taking a shower at least once a day for hygiene purposes but maybe you have run into the same questions I have about soap.
I did some research and here goes my best explanation of the phenomenon known as soap:
Soap is made up of sodium or potassium salts of fatty acids which are gotten when combining common oils or fats with a strong alkaline solution (usually lye) in a process known as saponification. The fats are hydrolyzed by the base, yielding alkali salts of fatty acids (crude soap) and glycerol. Glycerol is a substance found in most bar soaps I’m guessing because it is in my Irish Spring.
Soap is an excellent cleanser because of its ability to act as an emulsifying agent. An emulsifier is capable of dispersing one liquid into another immiscible liquid. This means that while oil (which attracts dirt) doesn’t naturally mix with water, soap can suspend oil/dirt in such a way that it can be removed.
Grease and oil are nonpolar and insoluble in water. When soap and soiling oils are mixed, the nonpolar hydrocarbon portion of the micelles break up the nonpolar oil molecules. A different type of micelle then forms, with nonpolar soiling molecules in the center. Thus, grease and oil and the ‘dirt’ attached to them are caught inside the micelle and can be rinsed away. Basically you can get more ball sweat bacteria and facial grease off of you with soap than you can with regular water, which is a good thing.
The earliest users of soap date back to around 2800 BC in Ancient Babylon. There was a found that was recipe written on a clay tablet.
The Ebers papyrus (Egypt, 1550 BC) indicates that ancient Egyptians bathed regularly and combined animal and vegetable oils with alkaline salts to create a soap-like substance. Egyptian documents mention that a soap-like substance was used in the preparation of wool for weaving.
Saved By The Bell Reunion Show?
By: Billy BeerSlugger
While Jimmy Fallon and his Late Night show is tryig to get a reunion together for Saved by the Bell on his show, Tiffany Amber Theissen has pretty much declined the invitation.
Now I know a ton of people will be enamored with this reunion if it actually happens but I could really give a shit less. Though one thing I just re-realized is that Tiffany Amber Theissen is still fucking hot.
Here’s her take on why she can’t make the reunion show.
Steroid Overload
By: Bones
Today, it was leaked to the media that Manny Ramirez and David Ortiz are on the list of roughly 100 players who tested positive for steroids in 2003, along with the previously reported Sammy Sosa, A-Rod, Bonds, etc etc. All the sudden it’s like my life and my TV have been rewound to 2 months ago, 5 months ago, a year ago, 4 years ago. I am so sick of having my blissful and endless sports watching interrupted by this bullshit every few months. For the next week I have to watch ESPN trot out a long line of anchors, commentators, and athletes screaming down at us from way up on their high horse about how the game has been disgraced, blah blah blah….over and over. Gammons, Phillips, Kurkjian, Kruk, Player X…rinse, and repeat. How does this affect their Hall of Fame chances? Will you vote for him? Polls, followups, E:60 and Outside the Lines with Bob Ley. Same questions, same answers, over and over. It’s like a bad nightmare that keeps repeating once you fall back asleep. Finally, you aren’t scared anymore, you are just bored. I am not surprised anymore, nor do I care in the least little bit. I do not fucking care. At all.
All I care about is that I am forced to listen to a multi-media blitz of bullshit. It’s making my favorite channel unwatchable, and it pisses me off. The thing that really gets me is that someone is leaking this information strategically; every couple of months new names come out that should not be out, as the ‘list’ is in the hands of the FBI and supposedly is on double top secret probation. Except that someone who has access to the list is doling out one or two names at a time. Whoever it is obviously is very smart, and and very vindictive. They know that the best way to hurt MLB and each player on the list is to give them the slow drip of Chinese water torture every few months. Someone didn’t happen across the list in Stu Scott’s trash can, and it’s not written on bathroom stall wall- otherwise all the names would be out, and whoever it is hasn’t been fired or caught, or left a trail, or anything. Different sources get the scoop each time, so that tells me that they don’t even know who is leaking the information to them.
The most amazing thing is that the people who are getting outed are the ones who have most recently came out and said something to the effect that they didn’t do ‘roids, or that people should be punished who did do them, etc. Sosa, Ramirez, Papi, ARod, Bonds…all of them denied it, and this guy is obviously trying to make them look silly. It makes you wonder whether the next bomb will be Pujols or Ichiro. But really, I don’t think I am the only one who is sick of it, or has stopped caring who cheated and who didn’t. You can’t keep an entire generation out of the HOF. There was the live ball era, the dead ball era, and now there’s the steroid era, and stats and records fluctuated as such each time. I think its pretty dumb that record holders, players with great careers steroids or not, are not in or may never get in. The records stand as far as MLB is concerned, so the voters should recognize those who set them.
Ugh. I am tired of writing about this, or thinking about it, or watching it on TV. Why doesn’t ESPN come out with an ESPNLegal channel for all this shit? Keep the games separate from everything else- ‘roids, trials, Vick, Burress, and Brett fucking Favre. See which one has the higher ratings. I bet I know which one
Anonymous doesn’t mean Anonymous anymore.
By: Billy BeerSlugger
Manny Ramirez and David Ortiz names were just released as persons who tested positive for Performance Enhancing Drugs back in 2003. SHOCKER! However, this was an anonymous test and I’m not sure how anonymous test results can be traced back to a person. Apparently this is the same anonymous testing that led to the outing of A-Rod as a doper. There are 100 names on the list and I’m not sure how many names have gotten out or how they were leaked but if I were an MLB player and i submitted to an anonymous drug test by my employer then was subjected to scrutiny about said drug test I would be a little pissed off. “Hey XYZ player we’re doing random drug tests and we’d like you to submit to one and no one will ever know the results. We just want to see the extent of players using PED’s as a whole.”. Well that shit got out. Someone’s responsible and needs to be held accountable. I think the public is pretty tired of hearing that this star or that slugger was on roids, it’s been covered, reported, been to Congress and it’s abundantly clear that the MLB has had a problem with steroids and such.
If there’s 100 names on the list, either release all 100 at the same time or release none (like you told the players that you would). Don’t leak out 2 or 3 names every two months to drum up ratings for sports news so we can go over the steroid issue again…. and again….. and again. I’m don’t pretend to be an expert on the situation but if the players were told the results were anonymous and now names are being attached to those anonymous results then the players union should sue the MLB. Do what you say and say what you mean.
The MLB had no problem making billions of dollars during the steroid era and looking the other way, now the MLB is vilifying players that it once championed in an atmosphere that it created or allowed to happen. Where is the accountability of ownership for letting the problem spiral out of control? Where are owners and GM’s in front of Congress testifying? Where is the scrutiny upon the MLB labor agreements during the steroid era for not putting in steroid testing when the NFL and NBA had them.
This isn’t just the players’ fault and in a time where players are being disected for saying one thing and doing another, where is the outrage over the MLB allowing names to be leaked from an anonymous test.
Get past the “Who did steroids/hgh” question and ask the more important question, “Why was it allowed to happen and why wasn’t anyone in the MLB willing to stop it?”.
Cliff Lee traded to the Philadelphia Phillies
Sports with Bob McFlurry:
A source within the Philadelphia Phillies organization has just told me that the Phillies will acquire Cleveland Indians Pitcher and 2008 Cy Young award winner Cliff Lee and a right handed bat for Carlos Carrasco, Jason Donald, Lou Marson and Jason Knapp.
The move gives the Phils two top line starters along with a streaking Joe Blanton and Jamie Moyer without giving up J.A. Happ and putting to bed the uncertainty at the 5th starter position occupied by Rodrigo Lopez and Antionio Bastardo since Brett Myers went down with a hip injury.
The move does not stop their talks with the Blue jays for Roy Halladay since they still have J.A. Happ and Tommy John surgery wunderkind Kyle Drabek, however, the deal seemsa lot less likely now that the Phils have somewhat depleted their farm system.
Is this the move the Phils needed to make to give themselves a shot at defensing their World Series title? Only time will tell but adding a Cy Young award and 20+ game winner from last year certainly can’t hurt at this point.
Jim Johnson: The Gentleman Blitzer
Bob McFlurry with Sports:
Jim Johnson and Andy Reid came to Philadelphia together in 1999 and began a partnership which would last for the next 10 years. 10 years that included 5 NFC Championships, a Super Bowl appearance and as arguably as dominant a defense in the league for that time period. 2nd in sacks and 5th in scoring defense and sending 25 plus defensive players to the Pro Bowl.
What’s lost in the Eagles decade of success is exactly what we lost yesterday, Jim Johnson. Yes Jim got some credit for being a great and innovative defensive coordinator but Andy Reid as Head Coach would get most of the credit. Andy Reid intimated yesterday in the news conference announcing Johnson’s death that Jim was as much a part of the success of the Eagles as anyone else in the organization. I may go one step further and say he was more important than Andy Reid to the Eagles.
In the early part of the 2000’s, the Eagles defense (along with exceptional Field Goal % from David Akers) kept them in and won them many games. Guys like Bobby Taylor, Troy Vincent, Brian Dawkins, Hugh Douglas and Jerimiah Trotter were more responsible for W’s than the offense (sorry D-Nabb). Having the 5th best scoring defense in the league for the decade can hide a lot of inconsistencies on offense and there were inconsistencies early on (though not a lot of talent besides McNabb and Staley on the Offensive side of the ball). Point being that the Eagles won and they won ugly early on in Johnson’s tenure.
A turnover on the defensive side in 2003 when he lost middle linebacker Jeremiah Trotter and in 2004 when Bobby Taylor, and Troy Vincent were replaced and Jim Johnson didn’t lose a beat, going to the NFC championship and Super Bowl those seasons. Though after Trotter left the defensive run stopping was somewhat suspect with Barry Gardner, Levon Kirkland and undersized Mark Simenau.
He chose to stay in Philadelphia as one of the highest paid coordinators in the league instead of becoming a head coach where he consistently made offenses look confused and bewildered from pressure. A bend-don’t break philosophy that limited bug plays from opponents and while the defense would occasionally misfire, Johnson’s defenses speak for themselves. Brian Dawkins called him tailor-made to coach in Philadelphia and many other players and coaches called him instrumental in their careers.
A defensive mind that should probably be more beloved in Philadelphia than Buddy Ryan. A guy that carried himself as a gentleman and treated his players as men and not employees. A guy who drew up blitzes on cocktail napkins at hotel bars. A guy who got more out of his players than they knew they had. A guy that has a coaching tree that will someday rival Bill Walsh it seems and from what I’ve gathered one of the finer human beings on the planet for 68 or so years.
For a working class town Jim Johnson is your working class hero on the sidelines and someone not soon forgotten.
Sports with Bob McFlurry:
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