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Non Music Television -NMTV

MTV's "Moon Man" Award
The Award for Best Vidoe Never Shown On MTV goes to....

By: Billy BeerSlugger

I haven’t went out of my way to watch an MTV Movie or Video awards show since about 2002 or so. I was kind of taken aback on Sunday night around 1 or two am when I was drunkenly flipping through channels after a 3 day booze fest in Avalon NJ known as my friends wedding.

I couldn’t quite figure out what was going on as Beyonce had been given the award for best video and then they brought Taylor Swift out to give an acceptance speech. I didn’t know what was going on but later found out that Kanye West had burst on stage to make a scene when Taylor Swift was given another award and what I saw was a redo on her acceptance speech.

Now if you didn’t know this by now, Kanye West goes on stage and makes scenes at awards shows. He has done it numerous times, this time was the first time he was outraged on behalf of someone else instead of himself for not winning. Now the dude was wrong, he knows it (if it wasn’t a publicity stunt to begin with) but I’m not hating on him because this is what the guy does. If you don’t want him on stage then put a security guard on him or don’t invite him at all. He’s like a sex addict at an orgy, he just can’t help himself when it comes to these things.

I think the bigger issue here is that MTV chooses to still have a music video awards show at all.  I haven’t seen a music video on MTV for years. I’m not sure when they play them.

Here’s a sample of what they have on tap today:

Engaged & Underage

Made

Teen Cribs

Degrassi: The Next Generation

Made

Parental Control

True Life: I’m a Bisexual

True Life: I’m Polyamrorous

Real World

Real World Reunion

The Bitch is Back: The Hills Preview

Daddy’s girls

How do you get off having a video awards and not show any fucking videos all day. How do the kids today know what video’s to vote on if they’ve never seen them? Or does MTV just pick them?

What they should do is scratch the MTV Video Awards and make the MTV Pseudo Scripted Reality Show Awards where Lauren Conrad, Kristen Cavalerri, Heidi Pratt and Whitney Port can duke it out for best female performance.  Spoiled teens that are given material possessions in place of parenting battle for “Best Crib My Parent’s Bought”. You would have condom challenged girls vying for the prize of “Best Teenage Pregnancy”. Best Manufactured Drama Situation goes to…. I could go on and on but you get the point.

How are you a Network called Music Television and not show any music.  That would be like a CNN (Cable News Network) showing reruns of sitcoms all day. It’s that ironic.

Someone told me that they play video’s on MTV2 or something but I can’t even find that noise on my cable box. What happened to the good old days when music mattered MTV? You used to be all about the Music. Now you’re just a 24 hour commercial and set a bad example for teenage behavior.

Or maybe I’m just too old.

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What is the Business World Thinking?!

Your mother should have taught you better...
Your mother should have taught you better...

By: Gene soft cialis Yuss

 

I took a hiatus for the summer.  Between the beach, getting into grad school and conquering NASDAQ I really didn’t have the appropriate amount of time to devote to BeerSlugger.com.  But the summer is over and I must vent…

At an early age we are taught some of the basic fundamentals of life: look both ways when you cross the street, cover your mouth when you sneeze (apparently the sleeve is better than your hand – thanks mom), etc.  Most of these simple actions people are becoming more and more too inconsiderate to continue.  But there is one lack of sense and decency that I just cannot take any longer.

Since when did people give up eating like a respectable human being?  Why is it that every business meal I attend has without question someone that chews with their mouth open?  This is probably one of the most disgusting habits that somehow eked its way American culture.  Next time you are out and people are eating look around – everyone is doing it.  There are probably not many mannerisms that spans Democrats and Republicans/fat broads and models, but lack of courtesy to your fellow diners does.

Even less appealing than the uncouth open mouth cialis pill chewer is the noise-making-chewer.  There are certain people in my life that do this.  I try to help cure them of this coarse behavior, but these kind of people don’t seem to want help.  They don’t realize they have a problem.  Maybe we need to take a page out of the ‘How I Met Your Mother‘ script and start holding interventions for deplorable public behavior.  It would be LEGENDARY…

Is it just me, or does it seem like everyone is acting as though they are on a casting audition for ‘The Flamingo Kid‘?  While this is one of my favorite Matt Dillon characters, second only to “Damn, all I have are these Nepalese coins,” I really wouldn’t want to eat with the guy.

The few of you out there with class – and given this website’s audience I may have the wrong venue here – I implore you to assist me.  Others’ parents have failed them.  Society at large has failed them.  We cannot and must not fail them too!

Every person that I interview I also take out to eat.  If they chew with their mouth open, then their resume hits the shredder.  Qualified or not, blonde or not… you have to pass the first test.  It is not much, but it is a start.  The last thing that I need is to have an 8:30 res’ at Dorsia and my date have rice fall out of her mouth in front of Paul Allen…

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Shawne Merriman Vs. Tila Tequilla

tila-tequila-antzBy: Billy BeerSlugger

I know I’m somewhat late on this story but I like to err on the side of caution when dealing with celebrities and a woman getting beaten or raped by a man because it always seems like the guy in question (at least initially) is guilty until proven innocent. Take the Duke Lacrosse case, Kobe Bryant’s alleged ass raping of a young Colorado woman or Ben Rothlisberger’s recent accuser as examples of the media going off and over-sensationalizing a story and then being wrong about it.

The first time I heard about this story I’m going, “why the fuck is Shawne Merriman dating Tila Tequilla?”. There has to be about a million bi-sexual girls that would bang Shawne Merriman that don’t look like they starred in the animated film Antz. Not to mention the whole bi-sexual reality dating show she starred in getting slobbered on by male and female tools alike on national TV.  It just didn’t seem like the kind of sound decision that a steroid shooting, purple mohawk sporting linebacker would make.

Then I came across this from a local San Diego new station purporting to have the inside scoop after interviewing people in the know.  Allegedly, Merriman went into his bedroom with two women, Tila Tequilla went in after and Merriman asked Tequilla to join the festivities which is perfectly reasonable request to a known whore bag. She became enraged, threatened to have sexual congress with a member of Merriman’s entourage, got naked and tried to leave the premises. It is said this is the point that Merriman restrained Tequilla and 911 was called.

Pretty much the kind of behavior you would expect from a steroided up monster and the strumpetish star of the first mainstream bi-sexual, reality/competition TV dating show.

I won’t even really offer you an opinion on who I think is right or wrong, I’ll just say that this is why I rarely have sex with 3 girls at once anymore. Crazy girls tend to exaggerate stories but they are also the only ones who will bang you with two of their whore friends. It’s like playing with dynamite and if it happens to explode you either have a court case or herpes… or both.

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The Inside Track with Ace Rothstein

The number one handicapper in sports is devoting his time and his plays to the Beerslugger’s of America. Sit back and relax while Ace makes you money every week.

Nebraska -21 over Arkansas St.

This line should be around -28. Nebraska is coming off beating the 2nd best team in the Sun Belt Conference in Florida Atlantic 49-3. They looked good in all phases of the game especially offensively. When a team is rolling offensively in the beginning of the year watch out. Coach Bo Pelini knows he has to blow these non BCS school’s out in order to move up in the polls and have a chance at knocking off someone in the Big 12 Championship game. Arkansas St is an inferior team to Florida Atlantic and most ‘cappers picked Arkansas St to finish lower than Florida Atlantic in the Sun Belt. This game is so low because Arkansas St went into Texas AM last year and beat them. First Texas AM was one of the worst teams in the country last year. Second Bo Pelini is not going to allow this team to sneak up on anyone. How many times do you think Nebraska players have watched the game film from that game? Nebraska rolls by at least 28.

Oklahoma St -15 over Houston

Oklahoma St is coming off a great game against Georgia where they saw one of the nation’s fastest and top defenses. This will be a huge drop off going up against the much maligned defense of the Houston Cougars. Last year in this match up Houston gave up 699 yds and 56 points! This game is going to be played on turf which makes Oklahoma St.’s playmakers that much faster. Also Oklahoma St has been handed a golden ticket in the Big 12 with Sam Bradford’s injury. This team could be your Big 12 champions and they know it.

Carolina +2 ½ over Philadelphia

Sorry Eagles fans. I have never seen an Eagles team with so many question marks heading into a season. Sure this team can be good come the end of the season but right now they are in disarray. Carolina’s Defensive line is one of the best in the league and will be coming after McNabb all day. Philadelphia’s starting offensive line hasn’t taken a snap together once this preseason and never in their lives. Julius Peppers might be matched up against Winston Justice and that could spell trouble. Maurice Jones Drew will have a big day against Philadelphia’s depleted linebacking core. Carolina outright at home.

Green Bay Packers -3 ½ over Chicago

Buy the ½ point to 3. Never get beat by the hook!!!! Green Bay is coming off a good season, so they should be the talk of the NFC North, right? Wrong, all the talk has surrounded the Chicago Bears and the Minnesota Vikings. Green Bay has been forgotten and this line reflects that. The Chicago Bears vaunted defense is an absolute fraud! Last year Aaron Rodgers torched this team and Ryan Grant torched them on the ground. I understand now Chicago has a quarterback, and he is a good one, but that doesn’t solve their defensive problems or the offensive playmaker problems. Green Bay by double digits.

The number one handicapper in sports is devoting his time and his plays to the Beerslugger’s of America. Sit back and relax while Ace makes you money every week.

Nebraska -21 over Arkansas St.

This line should be around -28. Nebraska is coming off beating the 2nd best team in the Sun Belt Conference in Florida Atlantic 49-3. They looked good in all phases of the game especially offensively. When a team is rolling offensively in the beginning of the year watch out. Coach Bo Pelini knows he has to blow these non BCS school’s out in order to move up in the polls and have a chance at knocking off someone in the Big 12 Championship game. Arkansas St is an inferior team to Florida Atlantic and most ‘cappers picked Arkansas St to finish lower than Florida Atlantic in the Sun Belt. This game is so low because Arkansas St went into Texas AM last year and beat them. First Texas AM was one of the worst teams in the country last year. Second Bo Pelini is not going to allow this team to sneak up on anyone. How many times do you think Nebraska players have watched the game film from that game? Nebraska rolls by at least 28.

Oklahoma St -15 over Houston

Oklahoma St is coming off a great game against Georgia where they saw one of the nation’s fastest and top defenses. This will be a huge drop off going up against the much maligned defense of the Houston Cougars. Last year in this match up Houston gave up 699 yds and 56 points! This game is going to be played on turf which makes Oklahoma St.’s playmakers that much faster. Also Oklahoma St has been handed a golden ticket in the Big 12 with Sam Bradford’s injury. This team could be your Big 12 champions and they know it.

Carolina +2 ½ over Philadelphia

Sorry Eagles fans. I have never seen an Eagles team with so many question marks heading into a season. Sure this team can be good come the end of the season but right now they are in disarray. Carolina’s Defensive line is one of the best in the league and will be coming after McNabb all day. Philadelphia’s starting offensive line hasn’t taken a snap together once this preseason and never in their lives. Julius Peppers might be matched up against Winston Justice and that could spell trouble. Maurice Jones Drew will have a big day against Philadelphia’s depleted linebacking core. Carolina outright at home.

Green Bay Packers -3 ½ over Chicago

Buy the ½ point to 3. Never get beat by the hook!!!! Green Bay is coming off a good season, so they should be the talk off the NFC North, right? Wrong, all the talk has surrounded the Chicago Bears and the Minnesota Vikings. Green Bay has been forgotten and this line reflects that. The Chicago Bears vaunted defense is an absolute fraud! Last year Aaron Rodgers torched this team and Ryan Grant torched them on the ground. I understand now Chicago has a quarterback, and he is a good one, but that doesn’t solve their defensive problems or the offensive playmaker problems. Green Bay by double digits.

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I hate Gene Wojciechowski

Gene Wojciechowski
Gene Wojciechowski

By: Bones

I watch a lot of sports, and likewise I read about a lot of sports too. It’s only natural that I have developed strong feelings about certain broadcasters and columnists. This particular article is all about the incompetence and nonsense spewed form the pen of one of the worst columnists in the universe, Gene Wojciechowski. As an avid reader of ESPN.com, this guy is somewhat unavoidable- he writes quite a few columns, but they are such useless drivel I finally stopped reading them all together. I can pretty much get the gist of whomever’s dick he’s sucking from the title of the column anyway- because that’s half of what he does, devotes an entire article to unabashedly slurping someone. The other half of what he does is get up on his high horse and condemn someone. It’s one or the other with this guy, and that pisses me off. There’s no objectivity whatsoever. A typical Gene article reads like this: slurp, slurp, slurp…token 1 or 2 sentence paragraph glossing over reason why what he’s basing his column on might be bullshit, slurp, slurp, slurp. The points he makes are only backed up with jokes (cheesy ones), not facts. He doesn’t do any reporting- his ‘articles’ are always on some widely reported story. It’s like he wakes up, reads the papers, then decides, yeah I can pick a side on that story, take my info from stuff I’ve read, and back it up by never mentioning the other side of things. Supposedly a ‘National’ columnist, he is nothing of the sort. He writes about two things- Chicago and Tiger Woods. He makes a living off of making predictions, being wrong wrong wrong, then writing a column the next day owning up to being wrong, and giving tons of excuses about why he was. He does it so often that I think he writes both columns at once, or writes 2 columns ahead of time- one if he’s right (which never happens) and one if he’s wrong. What bothers me the most is that he seems to think that admitting that he was wrong absolves him from being a clown. And what makes it even worse is that the tone of his articles is always so arrogant, like he could never be wrong. Lets take a trip through his archives to prove my point.

8/13/09– Guarantees Tiger will win PGA after he leads after 54 holes. He didn’t, so…

8/15/09– Writes the obligatory ‘yeah, I was wrong’ article

7/13/09-Slurps Tiger for the British Open. He got cut so…

7/16/09– apologizes

7/6/09– Predicts Cubs will win NL Central by comfortable margin.

Soon- article saying, hey I was wrong, but…gives many excuses.

6/17/09– Slurps Tiger for the US Open… doesn’t happen

6/21/09– I’m wrong.

4/7/09– Slurps Tiger for Masters…are you getting the picture now?

Its not just Tiger, its Favre, or John Madden. It’s almost gay, the tone of these articles. They aren’t ABOUT anything- just about how awesome someone is. Its one thing to be a golf writer and be forced to write about golf. But he can write about whatever he wants and chooses to slurp people. Or maybe he will make a generic bullshit list, like the top 50 such and such. He probably wrote that shit 4 years ago. Look, this isnt one of my stronger articles in terms of logic or reasoning, but I am honestly worked up writing about this tool.

3/2/09– Gene rips Cutler for being a baby

4/2/09– Gene loves Cutler now.

1/21/09– Gene writes article about how wrong his NFL predictions were- a yearly occurrence. “It takes a real man to admit when he is wrong”.

1/11/09– guarantees Eagles to beat AZ in NFC Champ game

1/26/09– Calls AZ ‘no fluke’

OK, Im done, you get the point. I fuckin’ hate this guy, he should be fired.I wouldn’t give him a job to cover high school sports.

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Obamanomics

medAn Opinion by Luan Zuccarello

I have refrained from bashing the POTUS (check out west wing – great show) on this site but the gloves are off now.

Last night Barrack Hussein Obama stood before congress and urged their support for HIS health care bill. Under HIS health care bill the United States government would spend 900 billion dollars to run health care and to offer free health care to every citizen.

Now every Republican and a good handful of Democrats do not support this. So instead of “reaching across the aisle” (catch phrase of the Obama campaign) he is still shoving it down people’s throats! He has not changed one major thing in the bill and told his die-hard opponents that he will not bother with them. Is this not a democracy? Don’t we elect congressman and senators to be our voice and have a say and a vote? He said last night he has already put the plans into motion for “demonstration projects” in certain states. How is this going to work? How can you deem one state have free health insurance and one not, even in a trial period? My next question where in the fuck are you getting 900 billion dollars? We are a deep recession with people trying to make payments to mortgage companies, utility companies, credit card companies, etc. Where do you think this money is going to come from? Ummmmm – new taxes.

I only took 2 economics classes but I think if I proposed this situation I would have got laughed out of the class. I am strongly against universal health care, but I agree some changes should be made. I think all children should receive health care, health care insurance and premiums should be lowered, and there should be some reform in medical malpractice. But for the government to step in and give me the same healthcare options as the druggy on the corner is ludicrous! The big question that everyone keeps ignoring is the impact of insurance companies? Insurance companies will stop picking up regular doctor’s visits, they will stop picking up physicians rebates, and the cost of surgery and treatment will go through the roof! All this so crack head can shoot more shit into his vein and then go to the hospital for free. I love how instead of focusing on the real problem of how to get America back on its feet as the leading global economy we are focusing on a segment of our population that doesn’t pay taxes and already takes advantage of government programs. Here is a thought – create more jobs so people can take advantage of employer’s health care and they will pay taxes. But since Barrack Hussein Obama spent 787 billion dollars on his “recovery plan” unemployment is almost in double digits – 2 % higher than when he took office. Ronald Reagan took office under some of the same conditions as Barrack Hussein Obama . I will admit Reagan’s conditions were not as bad as the current ones, but the man did a damn good job getting us out of the hole. Instead of creating programs for us to spend money on he created programs for us to invest in.

How many people can take advantage of buying things right now – when all their money is going to bills? The smart thing would be to make people money! Don’t get them to spend it, have them invest it, the spending will come later. Cut income taxes that will encourage people to work more thus making them more money and cutting capital gains taxes will encourage investment.

Luan Zuccarello ’12 Bitches!!!!

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I’ll just park here in the middle of the street

stopped
No Parking Spot. No Problem... Park in traffic.

By: Billy BeerSlugger

You know something that really pisses me off is someone taking up a whole lane of traffic, stopped with their flashers on.  This seems to happen a great deal in Philadelphia and an Avenue I traverse daily; Girard. However, that does not preclude this behavior from happening all over the city, on South and North Broad St and Washington Ave. as well.

I realize that in some instances it is necessary. I don’t particularly mind the box trucks that are doing deliveries because they really do not have a place to park.  They are also big enough to see in advance and plan to go around.  What I do not get is people parking their cars in a lane of traffic that are going to the bank, picking up things in a convenience store or just seem to be there for no apparent reason.  I don’t see a real good reason why someone is that selfish that they cannot find some decent valid street parking for your 5 minute jaunt into a local business.  While you may not think it fouls up traffic much because there is another lane, IT DOES! Everyone is in just as much of a hurry as you are and when you park in the street, blocking a lane of traffic with you flashers on, it narrows an Avenue to a street.  People have to change lanes to avoid your obstruction thus cutting the amount of cars that can make it through a green light in half and causing problems for everyone behind you.

One time I saw 3 successive cars parked with their flashers on in the street while the owners went into a Bank of America on East Girard Ave.  The funny part is that there was plenty of street parking less than a half block down.  I don’t know if this is just accepted practice in some places in the city but it needs to stop soon. There’s no reason to stop in the middle of the street unless you break down, then use your flashers.  You wouldn’t stop in the middle of a busy one lane street so don’t do it in on a busy two lane avenue.

I know the Philly Police have better things to do but I also know we have a budget shortage, I’d love to see some kind of ticket for doing this.

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The Evolution of The Music Industry

An artifact for later generations to discover
An artifact for later generations to discover

By: Robby RipChord

I Want My MTV MP3!

With the sale of The Pirate Bay to a company and their plans to turn it into a legal file distribution site (the same route Napster went) it would seem to be a monumental victory for the Recording and Motion Picture Industries.  As monumental or bigger than the fall of free Napster.  However, what these organizations fail to realize is that they are treating a symptom, not the problem and effectively putting a band-aid over a bullet wound.

The RIAA has an antiquated business model particularly.  You won’t even see a CD in 10 years the way you don’t see a Vinyl Record nowadays.  While for the last 70+ years recording labels have had a monopoly on where music could be sold and at what price, those days are gone.  The distribution of music for our and subsequent generations will be the digital way, downloads.  The problem with this and the problem that the Recording industry has not yet come up with a solution for is the unlimited amount of copies that a digital version of a song can birth.  As they are leaked onto the internet the copies go up in numbers exponentially. There have been tries to mitigate music piracy, Digital rights management (DRM) is a systematic approach to copyright protection for digital media.  This endeavor has failed miserably to curb illegal downloading although I believe is still used in iTunes.

What some of the smarter Record Labels are realizing is that the money from artists is shifting from CD sales to concert ticket sales.  That’s one part of the equation. Though to really weather the storm that is file sharing, the Record labels and or Artists need to adapt their business models.  Artists like Trent Reznor (a born Pennsylvanian I might add) have shown that you can give your music away for free and still make buttloads of money. Of course Trent and band Nine Inch Nails became famous before the tide turned the way of illegally downloading music and this business model probably would not work in most instances given NIN’s already large fan base but Trent began growing weary of the corporate greed earlier.  A quote from Reznor in states, “…the climate grows more and more desperate for record labels, their answer to their mostly self-inflicted wounds seems to be to screw the consumer over even more.” in response to Interscope’s price gouging of NIN’s latest offering. He even encouraged people to steal their albums online.

I’m not necessarily a Nine Inch Nails fan but I don’t think there’s doubt that Reznor is a true visionary on this battlefront.

Other artists have begun to embrace a new way of distributing their music online, offering something tangible.  Mos Def has offered a free t-shirt with the purchase of his album or rather a free album with the purchase of a t-shirt.  Some artists have experimented with sending autographed album or other band related artwork in poster form to fans who buy limited edition albums. The concept of offering a physical product with a digital download of an album is a novel one and somewhat makes up for the lack of a material album in fans hands.

Whatever the idea, it has been proven that real fans will shell out money for their favorite artists for their newest release no matter if they can get it free or not.  That does not help the struggling garage band make it to the big time without an already large following but if their ideas are smart enough, viral enough and the band is actually good enough that people will want to see them then they will survive.  Just as Music Video’s catapulted artists in the 80’s and 90’s into mainstream consciousness so can it’s cousin YouTube.

The Music Industry needs to embrace these ways of selling albums rather than relying on and defending a dying business model.  There will be piracy no matter what now that we have entered the digital age, the Record Labels that adapt will be around as long as they have a product that is relevant to fans. And true, die hard fans are always going to be there and support their favorite acts.  It is now a matter of making these acts matter to the public and I’ll leave that up to the music industry and the artists themselves to figure out.

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This Guy and That Guy’s Cooking Corner – Italian Pork Chop

porkcutlet6Beerslugger is proud to dish out a new segment – This Guy and That Guy’s Cooking Corner. We are going to bring you recipes that:

1. Work

2. Great Food

3. Easy

4. No Bobby Flay gourmet shit – just straight man food and some things you can make for the mistress or slump buster you are banging.

This week we bring you the Italian Pork Chop.

Ingredients

– 4 Boneless Pork Chops

– Mozzarella Cheese

– Parmesan Cheese

– 2 Garlic Cloves

– Quarter of a Red Onion

– Quarter of a Red Pepper

– 1 Egg

– Bread Crumbs

– 1/2 Cup of Cherry Tomatoes halved

– Cup of Wine

– Red Pepper flakes

– Parsley

– Basil

– Olive Oil

– Salt and Pepper to Taste

Directions

Butterfly each of the boneless Pork Chops. Be careful to not separate the top from the bottom. Keep intact. Stuff your mozzarella cheese in between the pork and close. If you stuff them thick put 2 toothpicks in the pork to keep it closed. Salt and Pepper the pork. In a bowl crack and mix 1 egg. In another bowl pour the bread crumbs. In the third bowl grate your parmesan cheese. With each piece of pork dip into the cheese, then egg, then bread crumbs. Make sure you coat the pork with each ingredient. Heat olive oil and when it is hot put the pork in. Only flip the pork once it will need about 5 minutes per side or until golden brown. Remove the pork and put on a plate. Pour cup of wine into the pan to deglaze it. The wine will lift up all the brown bits (huge flavor) to be used in the sauce. Add garlic, onion, and red pepper and continue to cook on medium. Once the red pepper and onion are soft add in the tomatoes, red pepper flakes, parsley and basil. Drop the heat to low and let simmer for 3 minutes. Add the pork back in and cover for 3 minutes. Grate the rest of the parmesan cheese over the pork when you are serving it. I served this with a salad on the plate and did not need to use any dressing because the sauce was so good.

Good beers to pair this with would be lager style beers – Stella Artois, Pilsner Urquell, Sam Adams.