Hedy Lamarr – Inventor / Beautiful Betty

"Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid." Hedy Lamarr
"Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid." Hedy Lamarr

Hedy Lamarr is a veteran of such films as Tortilla Flat, Algiers, Boom Town, White Cargo, Ziegfeld Girl and Cecil B. DeMille’s Samson and Delilah. She has a star on Hollywood’s Walk of fame. She got naked in the 1933 film “Ecstasy” which I’d love to see or at least fast forward through until she got naked.

While Hedy may be most famous for her acting career the was also very much a scientist.  In 1941 she and composer George Antheil submitted the idea of a Secret Communication System for patent which was awarded in 1942. This early version of frequency hopping used a piano roll to change between 88 frequencies and was intended to make radio-guided torpedoes harder for enemies to detect or jam.

Lamarr’s and Antheil’s frequency-hopping idea serves as a basis for modern spread-spectrum communication technology, such as COFDM used in WiFi network connections and CDMA used in some cordless and wireless telephones. (Wikipedia)

How can you not completely fall in love with this chick.  Hot as shit and does experiments, basically invents WIFI.  Plus she had 6 husbands which is right up my alley considering how great at relationships I am.

I’m raising my Victory Prima Pilsner in appreciation of this brainy broad.

Progressive.com Insurance Chick

Is it just me or does anyone else wants to bang the progressive.com chick.  She’s so pasty white and it’s  even more contrasted by the lipstick.  Caked up eye make up straight out of the 60’s. Reminds you of a girl that you used to sit behind in 3rd grade and used to pull her hair, but all growns up.  She seems kind of unstable like if she didn’t take her med’s she’d snap at any second.

Her name in the commercials is Flo which makes her all that more appealing because I’ve never banged a girl named Flo.  Flo is a hard name to come by though there is a waitress by the name of Flo (which I ask for by name) at the local Denny’s we frequesnt after the bars close.

Still I can’t figure out why i want to bang this chick so bad.  She’s really bubbly and happy and I hate that.  I just want to bend her over that checkout stand and grudge fuck her.

Is that weird? I wonder if I could get the Geico Gecko involved in this somehow.  Oh I gotta go I just found my masturbation scenario for today.

The Fake Orgasm – Men do it too!

Women I am guessing have been faking Orgasms since the beginning of time or at least the beginning of the Male Ego.  You may be reading this right now and saying, “No way my girlfriend/wife has faked an orgasm with me.”  Well sir, you are not only wrong but you also have a communication gap in your relationship.

Anyway, this article is not about women faking orgasm’s, it’s about men faking orgasms.  I think most women would agree that it’s pretty disappointing when, while having sex with their partner, the man reaches climax too early.  As a men, one of our biggest fears is coming too soon.  Nobody wants to be labeled a pre-mature ejaculator.  It hurts the ego and your street cred.  Girls do talk about this stuff and you would probably be the last to know if you hadn’t already gathered that she was less than enthused by your performance.

Getting to the point, there are various things men do to prolong their experience.  One of the more glaring one’s is using a condom (which you should be doing anyway in about 99.9% of cases).  Putting the love glove on definitely decreases sensitivity but is not an all encompassing solution.  I’ve seen some over the counter gel desensitizers at CVS and Rite Aid, I guess that’s another way to get a longer bang out of your wang.  Stuff  is akin to Novacane for your penis while still allowing it to be erect.

Beerslugger.com endorses what we think is the most most effective way of lasting longer, which  is just getting stinking drunk.  It’s a fine line though.  You don’t want to get so drunk that you can’t get it up.  That’s categorically worse than being a premature ejaculator.  You essentially want to be drunk enough to get it up and keep it up without having to worry about coming.  Like I said it’s a fine line but once you gauge your alcohol tolerance you should know your limits.

It is at this point you can bang at will for as long as your stamina will allow and preferably until after she comes (plural) or at least fakes her orgasm.  At some point though, you will either want to:

a) Come

b) Pretend you came because you can’t come or are too tired

c) Just stop altogether because you can’t come or are too tired

Pretending to come would essentially be mimicking your own body movements and audible tendencies without an actual release.  It makes  no sense to just stop (without faking it) because the girl will obviously ask what is wrong, then probably in some way blame herself or you.  Try to make that first time special by allowing her to assume everything at least went well on you’re end.

This is obviously a situation in which you just start seeing a girl and wish her to be impressed by your sexual prowess because you want to keep her around for more than one night.  First impressions are important and first sexual encounters are just as important.  Sometimes you may need to sacrifice some instant gratification (coming) for more long term success.

Of course if you’re not really interested in seeing the girl again you could probably get equally as drunk and come whenever you want but that’s not in the scope of this article.