What’s the big deal of having a date?

By: F.X. Galvin

Next weekend W.J. Beerslugger and I are attending the wedding of a high school buddy down the Jersey shore. Due to many factors including the size of the families and the cost that comes along with the location, the couple had a difficult time slashing their guest list. Furthermore, dates are more scarce than the pit bull population in Virginia after Michael Vick’s dog fighting operation was busted. Specifically, their rule was that anyone who has not been with someone over a year straight (no off and on bullshit), did not get a date. Needless to say, Beerslugger and I will not be taking dates.

My friend called me apologetic due to the fact that I did not receive a date and even more apologetic that more of our high school buddies were not invited. I told him I could give a shit less and am happy that I made the cut. Then, I explained to him that I have no clue why people get offended in these scenarios. A young couple is trying to have a nice wedding which you are invited to and some people feel the need to bitch about the fact that they did not get a guest. Think about it, the couple has more to do, plan, and worry about then why you were not entitled to a date. Every person who got a date is one less friend my buddy could invite. Some people are just ungrateful.

My buddy explained to me further that everyone who bitched about having to fly solo was a female. I thought about this further and thought about the numerous weddings and events that I have gone to where people bitched and did not bitch about receiving the all important “guest.” Essentially, every time someone whined that she did not get a date it was a girl or one of my friend’s girlfriends after her boyfriend was not awarded a guest. I really tried to think of this from the girl’s perspective but it was difficult so I will delve into it after I analyze the guy’s perspective.

Guys do not want to lead a girl around a wedding or event because it hinders his own good time. If the couple getting married does not know your date well enough to invite them, chances are no one else really knows her either. This translates into a babysitting adventure to make sure your date is comfortable with her surroundings. Also, when you attend weddings of old friends it is common that conversations of the past typically come up. These are the type of conversations that you love to be in if it is not about you or if your significant other is not present. The kind you hate if it is about you and you can see the disgust of your main squeeze mounting by the sentence. Finally, and most practically, you save money.

Women (I should say girls), on the other hand become offended and pissed if they do not get a date. Hold up ladies, I am not saying every female gets mad but from my limited experiences of weddings and such, girls are the people who bitch about not getting a date to an event. The only rational explanation and theory that I have comes from my miserable ex-girlfriend who refuses to attend one of these events without a date. I’ll admit she is on the extreme side as she will not even attend a Christmas party, banquet, wedding etc. without a date. She went as far to take another guy to a wedding when we were in a fight, even after I said I would go several days before. Consequently, a couple of weeks after we broke up last month she text me to tell me she was on her way home from Virginia from fucking him. Real sweet girl. . . and admittedly not the best example. However, her theory was that “at a certain age a woman should be entitled the accompaniment of a man.” I tried to gauge other girls’ theories on this but most of my female friends are cool as shit and said they would not care. The most I could get is “it is about respect.” That makes no sense. They had the respect to invite you, it does not take an additional level of respect to garner you a date. Therefore, I am stuck. I would love to hear more reason why women get mad about not having a date. Please e-mail me or comment.

What baffles me more is when a girlfriend is pissed because her boyfriend was not invited with a guest. This is a place where I have a difficult time searching for answers. Is it a trust issue with your boyfriend that he will cheat on you? Is it a self-esteem issue that the couple getting married does not like you? Outside of trust, dependency, and insecurity I cannot fathom why this would bother a woman. Again, please e-mail me or comment with an explanation because even my crazy ex would not be offended by this but I have heard several angry friend’s girlfriends freak out over this.

I just do not get it. One night in your life you can go out and have a good time without needing a date. Enjoy the company of your friends/family. More importantly, enjoy going to a friend/family members’ wedding and being a part of the most important day of her life. Nobody wants to hear you bitch.