by F. Galvin
The Tiger – The Beginning of the End
A tiger is a girl in between the ages of 25-34. She is a tough breed. A typical tiger has been around, she has been used, hurt, embarrassed and probably has watched a couple of her closest friends walk down the aisle. The tiger is smart, she typically won’t fall for your bullshit. She knows you are full of shit and won’t fall for your line unless she wants to use you as much as you want to use her. Tigers are a dangerous breed, they are looking for a husband, not their next side piece. Tigers get casual sex from ex-boyfriend they are familiar with and can trust or one of their closest friends who they can also trust. Bottom line, one night stands are not common unless she is a whore.
The best way to pick up a tiger is to be good looking and successful. They want a husband. They are tired of dating and want to settle down. Ok so how are you supposed to pick up a tiger considering your not successful and good looking. Well most tigers are still realistic, they know the probability of finding that perfect guy is fading with the next miller lite or stoli and soda. Be funny….Girls always like a guy that’s funny and that includes tigers. Do not be over the top and make an ass of yourself, be original and witty. Come up with a line that is really not a line and is more of a joke (Beerslugger is the resident expert in this matter refer to him for multiple quibs. Mine are few and far between and I can’t let them be plagiarized.)
Where do you find tigers? Everywhere, they are the easiest group to spot. Go to any trendy bar in any major city in the United States and it will be packed with tigers. There are countless groups of tigers but they go unnoticed the majority of the time. The tiger is usually not as good looking as a cub (see below) and she does not make for as good as a story as a cougar. Plus, if a guy is not looking for a relationship, the tiger gets skipped over. Also, tigers can be demanding, they know want they want and will play nice at first but will start making regular demands.
Tigers are the best option is you want a serious girlfriend. They typically are looking to get married even if they will not admit it. Every girl wants to get married. When they say they do not want to get hitched, it is only because the right opportunity has not come before them. See them for what they are, they still get wasted and will kiss up to your buddies at first but their ultimate plan is to train you into their husband. A tiger will give you enough ass to reel you in and reel you away from your boys.
It is tough to nail a tiger on the first night. If you do, you have good game or the tiger just doesn’t care. If she does give it up when she says “I usually don’t do this is” it is usually a blatant lie. Thy do it all the time, they have been around and around and around the block and treat alcohol as an aphrodisiac. Tigers can be stingy on sex. They are passed the horny cub stage and are not at the sexual peak like cougars. Basically, this breed can be prime for a killer migraine, they are demanding, want to get married yesterday, and do not want to screw you.