The 5 Worst College Social Scenes in the Philadelphia area: #5

By: F.X. Galvin

#5 Villanova – Yea this place sucks

This lame university is commonly known as Vill-A-No-Fun. Seriously, this place has to be the most overrated school in the area. It has approximately 8,000 undergraduate and graduate students and has no luck at throwing a decent party. This school has no on-campus social life. None. Students leave this terrible campus for all other local schools or go to the bar.

Yes, the bar scene is half decent, it is the Main Line, but it is not comparable to Center City and Old City. You can only get so much enjoyment from Brownie’s 23 East, Wild Onion (or whatever it is called this week,) and ever other corner shithole on the Main Line. Also, basically none of the abovementioned watering holes are really in walking distance unless you have an off-campus house by one of these bars. So you have to risk a D.U.I. to get a load on because if you stay on campus you will get written up and if you go to a house party it will probably get busted by the lame ass Lower Merion police. It is a no win situation. Also, if you are underage, you take your perfect criminal record in your own hands by going to the bars but L.C.B. constantly raids the little shitty corner bars. Your rich ass will be raking leaves in even richer neighborhoods on Saturday mornings while other rich pricks drive by, and look at you like you just stole their 16 year old daughter’s V-card.

Next, the girls are hot right? Yea but they are pretentious bitches that only care about the size of your wallet, well essentially your father’s wallet. I did bang one Nova slut while in college but I sadly have to admit she was beat up in her face and downstairs. One of those hoagie and a hallway experiences that almost every man has unfortunately participated in. The pretentious attitude continues with the guys, which makes you want the pound the face in of every asshole dressed up in two polos with the collars flipped or rocking a blazer over a t-shirt at Brownie’s. Seriously you all should kill yourself, you losers. You have no standing to act this way. Villanova is an overrated bullshit school. Its not Penn, your not Ivy league, so why do so many of you crave to act that way? You are really not even to close to an Ivy school so knock off your pretentious attitudes.

There is a debate on how other schools in the Philly area are worse than Nova. Really, I disagree and again its my list, fuck you. I have been on the Nova campus plenty of times and it has never been fun. Seriously, look what these assholes do for fun. . . Let’s drive down to the Linc in Chet’s parents BMW with Chadwick, Bradford, and Carlton. When we get there, we should break in the stadium and steal a chair and a beer sign. You morons, you crave the attention of being smart but you do the dumbest possible thing ever. You try to break in a stadium that is littered with security cameras to steal a chair. You could have just asked “Daddy Warbucks” to extort the Eagles for a chair and a beer sign. That is the conclusion on why this school is so lame. When you have to drive 30 minutes to steal a chair to have a good time, it is time to contemplate a transfer.