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Tragic Irony on MTV

Thank God JWow's breast don't move or there could be some wardrobe malfunctions.
Thank God JWow's breast don't move or there could be some wardrobe malfunctions.

By: Billy Beerslugger

This weekend I subjected myself to more MTV than I have watched probably since 2002 or so.  I could not get away from the phenomenon that is “The Jersey Shore”.  Guido’s, Guidettes, Blowout’s, fake tans, muscles and a whole lot of attitude. Pretty much what i expected from this show but after I watched it as research (I’m a hypocrite), then sat in with my roomates to watch a portion of it, then went over a friends house and they were watching it I seriously will not watch this show again.  I stopped watching “The Real World” after Pedro died in season 3 and “The Jersey Shore” is nothing more than a rehash of the Real World formula with the twist of having all Italian American’s as house inhabitants and a whole bunch of sterotypical behavior.  I can tell you how this show in it’s entirety will go: fist fights, fist pumping, drinking, shit talking about roommates, roommates hooking up (some of whom have boyfriends), roommates getting in a fight after hooking up, girls getting pissed about other girls being in the house, half the show being bleeped or blurred out, lame Guido stereotypical behavior, people get fired from their job selling t-shirts but are ultimately let back to work because it’s really hard selling t-shirts, some girl gets punched in the face by a dude.  Now save yourself the couple hours of your life and learn something.

For as much complaining as I’ve heard coming from the New Jersey tourism associations it didn’t stop them from running an ad during the show about Ocean City NJ.

Now onto the next farce I’ve seen on MTV that should have been pulled, DJ AM’s Gone Too Far follows the deceased record spinner while he tries to help them kick their addictions to drugs and alcohol.  The problem I have with this show still being on the air is that DJ AM died of a fucking drug overdose.  Wouldn’t that kind of be like if Oprah starred in a show about losing a weight and then her stomach explodes from eating too many Twinkies? This isn’t to say that DJ AM is a bad dude or that it’s easy to kick drugs but it’s not exactly inspiring that the host of a show about kicking your drug habit dies from a drug overdose. Do you see what I’m saying here? The guys credibility is completely ruined.

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Non Music Television -NMTV

MTV's "Moon Man" Award
The Award for Best Vidoe Never Shown On MTV goes to....

By: Billy BeerSlugger

I haven’t went out of my way to watch an MTV Movie or Video awards show since about 2002 or so. I was kind of taken aback on Sunday night around 1 or two am when I was drunkenly flipping through channels after a 3 day booze fest in Avalon NJ known as my friends wedding.

I couldn’t quite figure out what was going on as Beyonce had been given the award for best video and then they brought Taylor Swift out to give an acceptance speech. I didn’t know what was going on but later found out that Kanye West had burst on stage to make a scene when Taylor Swift was given another award and what I saw was a redo on her acceptance speech.

Now if you didn’t know this by now, Kanye West goes on stage and makes scenes at awards shows. He has done it numerous times, this time was the first time he was outraged on behalf of someone else instead of himself for not winning. Now the dude was wrong, he knows it (if it wasn’t a publicity stunt to begin with) but I’m not hating on him because this is what the guy does. If you don’t want him on stage then put a security guard on him or don’t invite him at all. He’s like a sex addict at an orgy, he just can’t help himself when it comes to these things.

I think the bigger issue here is that MTV chooses to still have a music video awards show at all.  I haven’t seen a music video on MTV for years. I’m not sure when they play them.

Here’s a sample of what they have on tap today:

Engaged & Underage

Made

Teen Cribs

Degrassi: The Next Generation

Made

Parental Control

True Life: I’m a Bisexual

True Life: I’m Polyamrorous

Real World

Real World Reunion

The Bitch is Back: The Hills Preview

Daddy’s girls

How do you get off having a video awards and not show any fucking videos all day. How do the kids today know what video’s to vote on if they’ve never seen them? Or does MTV just pick them?

What they should do is scratch the MTV Video Awards and make the MTV Pseudo Scripted Reality Show Awards where Lauren Conrad, Kristen Cavalerri, Heidi Pratt and Whitney Port can duke it out for best female performance.  Spoiled teens that are given material possessions in place of parenting battle for “Best Crib My Parent’s Bought”. You would have condom challenged girls vying for the prize of “Best Teenage Pregnancy”. Best Manufactured Drama Situation goes to…. I could go on and on but you get the point.

How are you a Network called Music Television and not show any music.  That would be like a CNN (Cable News Network) showing reruns of sitcoms all day. It’s that ironic.

Someone told me that they play video’s on MTV2 or something but I can’t even find that noise on my cable box. What happened to the good old days when music mattered MTV? You used to be all about the Music. Now you’re just a 24 hour commercial and set a bad example for teenage behavior.

Or maybe I’m just too old.