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Android Vs. iPhone

Resistance is Futile.
Resistance is Futile.

By: Billy BeerSlugger

With the iPhone 4 coming out later this month and 600,000 pre-sale orders already it’s safe to say that Apple’s new phone is already a hit. The millions of Apple fanboys aren’t going anywhere either. However, it is just completely inevitable that the Android OS will dominate market share on smart phones and eventually tablet PC’s like the iPad.

Why? It’s a simple numbers game and it’s a path that Apple already went down in losing the PC market share to Microsoft in the 90’s. Microsoft has dominated the OS scene because Windows can be installed on any PC. So multiple manufacturers of hardware could focus on the hardware and Microsoft could focus on the OS to run that hardware. Apple has always done both; making the hardware and the OS for it’s electronics and for the most part they do a very good job of it. They pretty much control every aspect of their products and that has lead to a lot of user satisfaction. Unfortunately, Apple being only one company competing with a multitude of hardware manufacturers allowed Windows to become the ubiquitous operating system hovering around 90% of the market.

Google took a page right out of Microsoft’s book and has taken on Apple’s iPhone OS with the open source operating system Android. So once again you have Apple in a situation where they will be competing with multiple hardware vendors and this time the operating system is free. I don’t think it takes Nostradamus  to predict what happens here. You will see Android completely saturate smart phones with Apple in a similar position in terms of iPhone market share as the Mac has been for the last 20 years.

Don’t fret though, Apple isn’t going anywhere and will continue to invade other markets (my bet is an iTV) and innovate as they have done throughout the company history. You would think that they learned from their mistakes in the PC era though.

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There’s a Map for That

atatBy: Billy BeerSlugger

With the recent ad campaign from Verizon showing 3G coverage on the United States map for both AT&T and itself, it’s weird that I am now seeing ads from AT&T with Luke Wilson in them telling me this isn’t true.  I’ve seen this type of competitive advertising this year before with Direct TV and Comcast stating who had more HD Channels or Programming.  What is a consumer to think when two direct competitors are spewing two almost completely different stories and passing them off as gospel to the American Public?

First, let’s read between the lines.  Verizon’s ad displays a map of “3G Broadband” coverage for both itself and AT&T. That being said, the maps are correct.  Verizon’s network is immensely greater in terms of 3G coverage and AT&T can’t really dispute the 3G coverage on their map. The thing that AT&T should dispute is that the ad makes it seem like they do not offer or can’t get service in those areas. While Verizon’s network is far beyond AT&T’s in terms of 3G service, it does not mean AT&T users cannot  make calls in those areas and in most cases can still access the Web (granted not in 3G speed).  Basically, if you can make a phone call you can still check your email though streaming video is probably out of the question.

Chalk one up in the W column for the advertising people at Verizon for stealthily taking one fact about one aspect of their competitors services and having a good portion of the general public associate the 3G coverage map with the entire AT&T wireless network.

Don’t think that this is just an AT&T vs. Verizon matter either. There are two very prominent names attached to these cellular carriers in Google and Apple.  With Google coming out recently with it’s Android OS on every major carrier except AT&T and Apple having an exclusive licensing deal with AT&T for the iPhone, it’s more than just about the carriers. AT&T apparently made 1/3 of it’s 2nd Quarter revenue off of iPhone users and that’s something that Verizon and Google hope to accomplish with their partnership.

Luckily I’m off all this week and could figure all of this out for you. Unfortunately neither Verizon or AT&T subscribers can get 3G coverage in the middle of Lake Huron.

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You’re a Douche Bag: There’s an App for That!

A-man-with-a-Carling-iPin-002
Hey everyone, look how much of a d-bag I can be!

By: Billy BeerSlugger

There are some people who just went absolutely crazy for the iPhone when it came out, waiting in line and camping out at Apple Stores like they were releasing the newest installment of the Star Wars franchise.  I get some of the hype over the I Phone, from what I gather it’s one of the better Smart phones released to date and like many other smart phones it keeps you in touch with your email and microblogging apps like Twitter.

However, I feel like it’s a real shame to waste all that shiny new motion sensing, finger sliding, file sharing technology on various degrees of douchebaggery.  It’s not particularly the iPhone I have a problem but the kind of hop-on-the-bandwagon, non trendsetting, generally generic jerk off that i see abusing the technology at bars and other functions.

There’s something about a guy at a bar fake chugging a beer from his iPhone Carling iPint App or two douchebag iPhone buddies simulating light saber fighting with that App that makes me want to grab these grand trinkets of technology and super smash them on the floor, finishing with a Jim Belushi “Sorry” from Animal House.

Seriously, there’s already enough ways that technology is moving human interaction more toward the digital/internet side, we don’t need the topic of conversation at the bar to be what you can do on your iPhone or the iFart or SimStapler Apps you just downloaded.  What ever happened to good old conversation about shit that matters; shit that doesn’t involve your iPhone or iApps because guess what, I don’t give a fuck what bullshit you can pull of besides making a phone call. It just makes you look like a retard for substituting activities and conversation with your iPhone rather than general human interaction.

Here’s my latest and greatest invention, the new iFuck App.  It’s an application which allows promiscuous Men and Women to make sexual advances via a fingerswipe at the bar.  One finger flick and your Fake Name, phone number and a picture of your genitals are sent over to that girl you’ve got your eyes on across the bar.  She can either accept your invitation to go home and iFuck you or deny your invitation which takes the embarrassment of actually having to walk up to a girl to and have a conversation before getting shot down. I think it will be bigger than the CowToss App.

But seriously, I saw a Spiderman movie once and some old guy said with great power comes great responsibility.  Don’t be a d-bag and use your powerful iPhone to drink fake beer, make fart noises or fake staple something, be responsible and stick to productivity enhancing Apps.

BTW: I can down a pint of real beer faster than you can drink your iPint. How do you like those iApples fucko?

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A Rant

By: Billy Beerslugger

I got text messages from two ex girlfriends today for varying reasons. I mean yea I guess in both cases we said we were going to be friends but who actually means that? If I want to see how one of my friends is doing I call them. I’m like “Hey how ya doing?”, my buddy goes, “Good How you doin?” Then we talk about other extraneous shit like how wasted we got last weekend or “How bout that local sports team? Boy are they sucking/doing well”.

I can hear the tone and inflection of my friends’ voice over the phone. I can tell if that person is happy, sad, laughing, surprised or confused. With a text message I have to read how the other person is feeling (LOL, ROTFL, HAHA). Sometimes I get text messages with just one letter (K). As if it was way too much trouble to write OK.

Phone calls are good because I can get the statement I am trying to convey over to my friend in the time it takes to say it instead of the time it takes for me to type it on a small ass keyboard (and I don’t care how fast you think you are at typing on your Iphone or Blackberry, you’re not beating speech chief).

I can’t tell you how much I hate having conversations over text messages. However, i don’t completely hate texting itself, just the use of texting as an impediment of actual human interaction. When I was a kid I thought by now we would be talking over video phones and stuff like that (which we actually have), but it seems more and more that people are intent on texting, IM’ing and messaging each other on Facebook and MySpace than actually interacting.

So this gets me to thinking about something else. Kids nowadays have it soooo easy (yes I’m going to sound old here). Until the last 5-8 years or so, if you asked a girl for her phone number in high school you got her house number. When you called her you ran the risk of the Dad answering, the Mom answering, an older brother asking you what the hell you wanted. Then you had to say something retarded like “I just wanted to ask Susie about one of our homework problems”. You also ran the risk of another person listening in on another phone in the house and foiling your plot to sneak out and play a little grab ass in the park that night.

You don’t have that now. You just call the girl on her cell phone. Bing Bang Boom, done deal. She might even surprise you with a “Sext Message”, which is a naughty picture of her sent via the cell phone. Maybe she makes a little movie with her friend of them dancing to Lady Ga Ga in bikini’s and puts it on YouTube.

God I envy you High School aged kid. Well except for the acne.

Note: This Rant was written while listening to ZZ Top’s Greatest Hits.