The year is 1985, there was not a more dominant high school basketball player in the country. Scott Howard a 5 foot 4 inch 17 year old High School student averaged a quadruple double that year, a feat never before done at any level of Basketball. High School coach Bobby Finstock called “The Wolf”, “The best player he had ever seen. Period.”. Though not without some controversy.
A still unknown genetic defect gives Scott the power of a Werewolf and he transferred those increases in strength, speed and endurance to the basketball court. After leading the Beavers to a District Championship, Howard accepted a scholarship to play Basketball at Major University.
Howard played point guard for two seasons at Major U and led the nation in scoring, rebounds, assists , steals and blocks. After his sophomore season Howard declared himself eligible of the draft. Ultimately David Stern did not allow Howard to join the NBA ranks due to the Wolf persona and doubts about Genetic Engineering and possibly Howard’s steroid use. Howard was in the process of appealing Sterns decision when Howard fell off the top of a van while going 30 miles an hour, a stunt known as “Van Surfing”, the Wolf was known to do on a routine basis. Howard suffered both shattered ankles and legs while he and friend Rupert ‘Stiles’ Stilinski were arrested for DUI, public drunkenness and reckless endangerment.
The injuries effectively ended Scott Howard’s athletic career, even though he had super human healing abilities.
Could you imagine Scott Howard in the NBA? He would have been drafted in 1986 (#1 overall presumably) and given the proper surrounding cast, probably would have given Michael Jordan a run for his money in terms of Championships. A Wolf Man that can shoot, jump, rebound and block shots…. What could have been.
If you’re like millions of Americans, you’re inundated with Junk Mail in your physical (not email) mailbox everyday. Everything from Credit Card offers to donation solicitations.
Up until now there’s not really a lot you can do about it. You could call the company up and tell them to take your name off the mailing list but you are already on a mailing list, whcih has probably been sold 200 times and assimilated into countless other databases. You’re not going to call every companyyou get mail from and get your name taken off their (single) mailing list.
My mom usually writes “Return to Sender” on the mail and sticks it in the mailbox. She receives an obscene amount of Donation Solicitation’s from Christian Charities after her name was sold about a billion times. A couple times I actually saw the mail having a nickel in it. Something in the mail said that for a nickel a day you can feed xyz children in third world countries. My problem with that is why are they sending out nickels to people in bulk when they could use these nickels to feed kids? If a charity has enough money to send nickels out in their mailers then they probably are doing pretty well, at least that’s how I look at it.
Anyway, I think I’ve taken things a step further. Open up your junk mail and get the “No Postage Necessary” envelope. Stick anything you want in these envelopes like other junk mail, newspaper clippings, dog hair, unused coupons, parking tickets, anything you want really.
How hilarious is it that you are now sending junk mail to the people who are sending you junk mail. I often wonder if they are just as disappointed to see my junk mail as I am to see theirs.
Technically, from what I gather, you can tape the “No Postage Necessary” envelope to a box and pretty much mail them anything you want like a brick, rocks or fecal matter. I have not tried this but for scholastic purposes only I just want you to know that this is an option.
It’s an age old question, “What’s the fastest way to get your beer cold?”. Everyone’s been there. You buy a case of beer from the distributor and it wasn’t cold or you need to chill that case in the basement that you couldn’t fit into the fridge.
What do you do?
If I’m at home and do not have access to a cooler or mounds of ice, I’m putting a six pack in the freezer and as many beers as I can fit in the fridge. After about 20-25 minutes the beers in the freezer will be cold and you take from the freezer and replacing from the fridge. You will have to do this for a good hour before the remaining beers in the fridge have cooled sufficiently. You will also have to watch out for beers in the freezer so that they don’t actually freeze and explode.
The best way, as explained by the show Mythbusters on The Discovery Channel:
In a cooler, combine salt, water and ice and just add beer for ice cold beer in about 5 minutes. The salt melts the ice and lowers the freezing point to 27 degrees. The water provides the surface area coverage to chill the beer optimally.
In contrast, using just ice and water to chill the beer would take about 15 minutes to get the 36 degrees achieved by the ice, salt, water mix in 5 minutes.
Of course you could use a fire extinguisher to cool the beer and it would be cold in about 3 minutes, but as I always say, “Safety First”. You may need that fire extinguisher after you get drunk. There’s nothing worse than accidentally starting a fire when you’re drunk and the fire extinguisher being empty from you chilling the beer with it.
So using conventional means, filling your cooler with salt, water and ice is the optimal way to cool your beer the fastest.
If you didn’t already know this, Now you know…. And Knowing is Half the Battle.
This is just completely hilarious. In the opening segment of Joe Buck’s first show on his new HBO series, Howard Stern radio personality Artie Lange completely rips into Joe Buck, Tony Romo and the Dallas Cowboys. If you are a Philadelphian, you have to dislike Joe Buck. He is clearly sided against both the Phillies and Eagles. The proof being that I like former Dallas Quarterback Troy Aikman better than I like Buck on their Fox Broadcast and I hated Troy Aikman when he was playing.
If Buck’s series somehow takes off this first episode would be a hilarious start. Artie Lange completely takes over control of the show, proclaiming himself a Homophobe, ribbing Joe Buck that he is gay, telling Michael Irvin he lost Artie a lot of money, telling a long sinded story about Joe Buck’s father. Swearing like a construction worker the whole time and even almost lighting up a cigarette after Buck asks him not to.
Artie is a NY Giants fan and kept saying “Fuck Dallas”. I’ll take it. Screw Joe Buck, I’m glad Artie Lange screwed up his debut.
Artie is also a recovering Substance Abuse addict. One can only hope this was just a pre-concocted scheme to ruin Joe Buck’s first show and not a drunken/drug induced blow up. Either way it’s one of ther more hilarious things I’ve seen in a while.
So for a while now you’ve probably heard about women shaving their girlie regions and getting Brazilian Waxes. By my estimation it really caught on in the late 90’s and early 2000’s. Shows like Sex and the City introduced many women young and cougar to these concepts.
The male version of getting rid of pubic hair has been given the term “Manscaping”. Though Manscaping can also refer to the grooming of hair on the chest and back as well.
While many women and men use a razor to get rid of pubes, I choose to use my beard trimmer. I find no reason to go near my gigglebits with sharp objects like razors. The beard trimmer gets as close as I deem necessary without fear of cutting myself.
Manscaping, it has been reasoned, gives the illusion of a larger package as well. Like the insanely innapropriate Gillete commercial below, “Trimming the underbrush makes the tree look bigger”.
One guy who probably wished he did some manscaping was a friend of mine during his Bachelor Party weekend. We had him whipped on stage at a Gentlemans Club in Montreal and the strippers proceeded to strip him of all his clothing (and dignity). So there he is on stage, naked and the strippers are abusing his ass with whips, meanwhile the man was hiding a forest beneath his underwear. A flaccid member usually isnt known for impressing people but a flaccid member hidden by 3 inches of pubes just makes you look like your hung like a hamster. And spare me the gay phobic statements, if your friend is naked on stage with strippers beating him unmercifully, you are going watch, it was a train wreck and completely hilarious.
So how do you guys do your manscaping, Razor, Beard-Trimmer? Do you get waxed by a 40+ year old Russian Woman?
There’s not really any doubt that we as Amricans produce a lot of trash. According to the EPA we produce about 4.4 lbs a day or about 1,600 lbs per year. Every year we as Americas throw out 2 million tons of polyethylene bottles used for such drinks as Dasani and Aquafina bottled water. These bottles require 18 million barrel’s of Oil to make each year (about a days worth of Oil Imports). True these bottles can be recycled, but only after adding more virgin petroleum and that’s not even counting the environmental impact of shipping them, carbon emissions, burning more fossil fuels.
Yea sure a plastic water bottle is convenient, take it with you throw it away after use, but at the cost of buying bottled water (even in bulk) coupled with the environmental costs, is it really worth it?
So what are the differences, if any between bottled water and home filtered tap water like Pur and Brita?
Well, bottlers like Dasani and Aquafina start with tap water and use a process of reverse osmosis to filter it. Yes tap water, not spring water, not water melted from a glacier, not water from an underground aquifer, the water hasn’t been blessed by a priest, rabbi or minister, it’s tap water.
However, water coming into your home through pipes has a lot more stringent guidelines which must be met than bottled water does.
The Federal regulations (FDA) that govern the quality of bottled water only apply if it is transported across state lines, and only require it to be “as good as” tap water, not better. 60-70% of bottled water companies bottle and sell the water in the same state to avoid Federal purity standards, thus avoiding complying with basic health standards, such as those that apply to municipally treated tap water! There are no assurances or requirements that bottled water be any safer or better than tap water.
City tap water can have no confirmed E.Coli or fecal coliform bacteria. FDA bottled water rules include no such prohibition (a certain amount of any type of coliform bacteria is allowed in bottled water).
City tap water, from surface water, must be filtered and disinfected. In contrast, there are no federal filtration or disinfection requirements for bottled water.
Most cities using surface water have had to test for Cryptosporidium or Giardia, two common water pathogens, that can cause diarrhea and other intestinal problems, yet bottled water companies have no such test.
City tap water must meet standards for certain important toxic or cancer-causing chemicals, such as phthalate (a chemical that can leach from plastic, including plastic bottles); some in the industry persuaded FDA to exempt bottled water from the regulations regarding these chemicals.
City water systems must issue annual “right to know” reports, telling consumers what is in their water. Bottlers successfully killed a “right to know” requirement for bottled water.
Filtering water at home is in my opinion the best way to get the cleanest available water, the cheapest as well. You know that you are at least getting federally tested and treated water and with a using an activated charcoal filter with an NSF 53 certification seal on the box (like Pur and Brita) you will remove such health-threatening contaminants as lead, microbes and volatile organic compounds, rather than merely improving taste and odor. All at a fraction of the cost of buying bottled water.
So not only is filtering your own water cheaper and better for the environment but in most cases filtered water is better for you than bottled water.
Bottom line, get yourself a Brita instead of lugging bulky packages of bottled water home from the store, save yourself some money and spend it on better contaminants like Beer and Wine.
Earlier I wrote about how much I dislike Kieth Olberman on MSNBC and how much, while on opposite ends of the political spectrum, Fox News and MSNBC are essentially the same network. They both cater to their Liberal or Conservative base, each bashing the other network and or opposing political figures several times a day never really extensively covering their own party’s shortcomings.
I think Jon Stewart is growing on me a little, I didn’t completely enjoy him essentially blaming Philadelphian Jim Cramer for people losing money in the stock market but he did make some valid points. His “Fake News” program The Daily Show has been on for about 10 years and while I’ve never really gotten into watching it regularly on TV, I do watch clips from his shows on the internet. Jon leans slightly to the left but overall I think he’s got a pretty objective view on things. While the goal is to deliver the news with humor, it’s usually well thought out and logical. As a man, I like when things are logical, when they make sense.
Anyway, here’s a clip of Stewart not only bashing Fox News but MSNBC as well as CNN.
So true though, Fox News is going to bash Obama anytime they can get in a jab, with Bush Jr. out of office, MSNBC has turned to hurling spitballs at Rush Limbaugh and CNN is so obsessed with whats going on Twitter, Facebook and MySpace that I’m not sure if they have anyone writing scripts anymore. CNN just asks you what you think.
What the Hell happened to CNN, they used to be “The News”. All I can think about CNN now is that they had Will-I-Am live via Hologram on the night of the Presidential Election. Apparently that was the first Hologram used on live TV and they chose Will-I-Am of the Black Eyed Peas to be the guy to talk to? No offense to Will-I-Am but you couldn’t have gotten someone better CNN.
sidenote: I just saw a Target commercial with the Black Eyed Peas. What was thery’re biggest sell out move? Adding Fergie, Changing the Lyrics from “Let’s get retarded” to “Let’s get it started” or the target commercial. Does any of this even matter?
You know, I like Brett Favre. I’ve never met the guy before but from what the media has me to believe, he’s a pretty good guy and a helluva Quarterback. I’m a Philly guy but I’ve always rooted for the Packers, I love snow games.
Anyway, everyone makes a big deal about whether Favre is or is not going to play again, year after year since about the 2003 season. Well guess what, the guy either is or is not going to play this season. It’s Baseball season and Ed Werder, Chris Mortensen and such want to make a splash on the latest development with Favre’s current bid to become unretired.
That’s great, I guess someone has to report on it and it might as well be those guys. However, there’s just some things that do not add up to me. It was reported that former Eagles O-Coordinator and current Vikings head coach Brad Childress gave Favre a deadline of sometime this week for Favre to commit to the Vikings.
I mean the latest ESPN headline has us to believe that Brad Childress is suspending his pursuit of Favre because he mandated Favre show up to Organized Team Activity’s and or Favre didn’t commit to the Vikings by XYZ date. What doesn’t make sense, at least in my eyes, is why you give a guy a timetable to figure out whether he wants to play again when he just got surgery on his shoulder to figure out whether he can play again. It’s like asking someone who just had a heart attack whether or not they want to go back to work the next day. Yea they may have the desire but are they able-bodied enough to do it? Yes you want the guy to be there during OTA’s, during training camp but then again it’s Brett Favre. You have to know what you are getting into when you’re asking him to be your date to the prom. A lot of maybe’s, some probably’s, some I don’t know yet’s, some I want to’s and then maybe God willing an i’ll be there.
It’s an overblown story every year and it seems in recent times that ESPN has reported and gotten wrong lately. This guy refuting this and that guy refuting that, not that ESPN doesn’t ever come out the victor in a war of he said he said but it seems to me that they’re over sensationalizing this whole Favre deal. Is he going to come back, is he not going to come back? Favre is going to meet with the Vikings, he’s staying retired, he’s got surgery to repair the biceps shoulder injury, Favre and Family make hotel reservations to meet with Vikings, Vikings give him a time line, Vikings give up on the time line at least for the time being. You’ve got one analyst saying he’s definitely coming back and another saying he’s definitely staying retired. At least they have all the bases covered.
I choose to believe that the Vikings will take Brett Favre up on him being their QB any time before opening day. And my gut says Favre will be the Vikings Quarterback but of course my gut also said Favre would be back in a Packer uniform if he chose to come out of retirement last year. Either way, Favre either will or will not be back in the NFL for 2009, it seems that if he will be back it will be for the Vikings.
Here’s a note to you ESPN, any time Brett Favre takes a dump or goes into the gas station to get a soda or calls someone on a cell phone does not mean it’s “BREAKING NEWS“. Breaking News is if Favre signs a contract, Breaking News is if Favre is throwing a football at a Vikings facility. Breaking News is not Brett Favre, “…has not yet ruled out a return.”. It’s not even a “Development“, it is what it is, a bunch of bullshit to keep you glued to the screen between commercial breaks.
Good for Brett Favre if he comes back, good for Brett Favre if he stays retired. You’re going to hear about it either way, just turn off ESPN if they start talking about it.
I’m doing my morning reading and came across two completely and utterly obvious articles on The Huffington Post.
1) Adam Lambert is GAY: Wow, you needed to read a Rolling Stone article to point this out to you. I don’t watch the American Idol but I’m kinda sure I knew this dude was gay when I was flipping through the Channel’s one night. I’m not saying all dudes that wear eye makeup are homosexual, I’m just saying that you are at the very least Bi-Sexual or an Emo-rocker that was molested as a child.
I don’t know why these people don’t come out before and tell the American Idol audience they’re gay. There’s got to be a couple million gay people that would vote for him just for being gay. Of course then you have the 8 year old asking her Mom or Dad, “What’s Gay?”. I guess I see why they wait until after the show.
2) Apparently Chef Gordon Ramsey is an Asshole: You have got to be fucking kidding me. This guy, an asshole? I don’t think there’s been a nicer person out there since Mary Poppins. I mean this guy is the epitome of a well mannered even keeled guy.
Seriously, again, did I need to even read a headline to find out something as obvious as Gordon Ramsey is a dick? SHOCKER! It’s common knowledge at this point.
In the article it says he called some woman a pig and a lesbian at a Wine Tasting in Australia. Is this really that far off from what he does on his Cooking shows?
I’ve worked in restaurants and head chef’s can be a little rough on the kitchen and front of house staff but never have I seen an actual chef go off like this dude. Berating people, making fun of their appearance etc. I still do not understand why his shows are on the air or why people watch them. But that’s just me…
I’m an avid watcher of shows on the Discovery Channel, The History Channel, National Geographic and other knowledge dropping shows. I’m a fan of Animal Planet and other shows that put you in the middle of a Jungle or Desert and show you what happens when confronted with the dangerous creatures that inhabit them, as evidenced by a previous post on Austin Stevens Snake Master.
What a friend and I were discussing the other day while enjoying a few adult beverages was how little credit the camera man gets for their efforts.
You have these guys like Austin Stevens and Steve Irwin (previously), trotting across the globe and journeying into jungles etc. looking for the most dangerous animals on the planet and getting close enough to them to piss these animals off. All the while you see the main guy on the TV but you never really take into account what’s going on with the camera man. His life is in obvious danger too and he’s got a 50 plus pound Camera to account for as well. From a Cobra spitting venom to a charging Komodo Dragon to wading in a river filled with Piranha to just plain being in an Ocean infested with sharks, these guys are a classic case of All Guts and No Glory.
I’m wondering if there’s some sort of award that goes out to these guys for risking their lives. If there is, I’ve never heard of it and if it was recognized by a major awards show like The Oscars or The Emmy’s, it probably is given out earlier and not televised.
So here’s to you Crazy Camera Men, this Miller High Life can was schwilled in your honor.
Billy BeerSlugger
By: Billy BeerSlugger
By: Billy BeerSlugger