By Gene Yuss
I’m a businessman. I dress like a business man. When you see me on the corner during a business day waiting to cross the street I probably looked hurried. I have business meetings to get to. When you see me on elevators, in cabs, or God help me slumming it on buses I’m checking my Blackberry. I have decisions to make, axes to grind, and fish to fry. I use business jargon constantly. All I talk about is the net effect, creating synergies, and networking opportunities. I just got back from London – business. In two weeks I’ll be in Orlando – conference.
With a fast-paced life it is important to step back and enjoy the simple things. Here’s a fun game I found while waiting for business associates.
Without question if you stand on the corner in business attire cabs will honk at you as they drive by. Philadelphia either has the highest concentration of homosexual cab drivers ever, or they are hoping for your fare.
Smile at them when they honk. They will slam on the breaks and change lanes faster than Dominic Toretto. It is hilarious to watch them put themselves and everyone else driving around them in extreme danger. It is as if they think you are the businessman equivalent of John Madden, and you need to get to Chicago immediately. Their ship has finally come in…
Once they pull over, usually half a block away, they will honk again. Smile and wave politely to their rear-view. After a minute or two they will realize that they have stopped for no reason. The reaction is priceless. These guys can’t speak a lick of English when you get in the car, but they can throw expletives with the clarity of Veronica Corningstone when you wrong them.
I had a buddy that used to give business cards to cab drivers and ask them to call him before the next 9/11 so he could stay home. Not a fun game. First, you’re in the car and the irate anti-bather can reach you. Second, it is racial profiling. Not cool. Mess with all cab drivers, not just those pushing the security measures at the airport to orange.
Note: I have seen four cab accidents to date, based on completely unrelated circumstances. If an accident is caused, this game doesn’t exist. It is probably not a good idea to be a witness either for police report purposes.