It’s Boner Time…

By: Billy BeerSlugger

You’ve seen them from time to time on a late night infomercial.  Extagen, Enzyte, Alzare, Extenze, Longitude, Size Max, VigRX, MagnaRX and Androenlarge.  All promise to make your member larger, usually dealing with girth as opposed to length.

I’ll focus on Extenze because I feel like that’s the one I’ve seen for the last couple of years.  One late night I got home from a drunken adventure and was flipping through channels.  I flipped by and saw Porn Legend Ron Jeremy hocking this boner pill.  Yea I watched just like you did chief.

Here’s what Extenze claims:

What will ExtenZe® Do For Me?*

• Enlarge your penis and erection.
• Give you harder, more frequent erections.
• Give you more intense orgasms.
• Make your erections last longer.
• Makes getting an erection easier and more reliable.
• Enhance desire, power, pleasure and performance.
• Improve your overall sex life and penile sensitivity.

Several things I found funny were that in the infomercial they had a guy in a lab coat swishing around colored liquids in a beaker and pills rolling off an assembly line like this was somehow going to convince me that it’s credible and actually going to make my bird grow.  It’s clearly science.

Two, they have a real medical doctor endorsing it.  Dr. Daniel Stein, founder of the Stein Medical institute finds it thoroughly effective after extensive research.  I don’t know of anyone that has ever heard of the Stein Medical Institute. Do these doctors that go on TV and endorse these bullsh!t products get sanctioned at all?  Like the MD who endorsed Hydroxycut and then a couple months later Hydroxycut is taken off store shelves.

Three, as stated in the commercial, men all over the world have taken Extenze and over a quarter of a billion pills have been sent out.  Wow that makes me really reassured.  Small dicked bastards all over the world have been duped by this company into buying a bunch of supplements that are available at your local drug store, for 4 times the price.

Four, you can get a free week’s supply of Extenze for just the cost of a postage stamp.  “If Extenze didn’t work could we afford to do that?”.  Well, apparently they can.  Sign me up for my free sample!

Most of these pills are made up of Yohimbe, Ginsen, Horny Goat Weed etc.  These are all things available at most places they sell vitamins.  They all are said to promote healthy circulation which in turn can mean better boners.

So does it work?  Yes it works!  I got my free week supply in the mail and I took 3 times the recommended dosage for 3 days and now my “certain area” is at least 8 inches in girth in addition to my generous 3.25 inches in length.  I can barely fit in Bob McFlurry’s mom anymore, she loves it.