Category: Uncategorized

By: W.J. BeerSlugger

You know, as far as I can tell, the United States is the only country in the world to allow direct marketing of prescription medicine to the general public through television, radio and print ad’s.  You may have previously read my take on Cialis which takes on the advertising aspect in a funny way or Latisse which I think for 99% of cases is unnecessary but I think this article will take a more serious turn.

The fact that we spent 291 Billion dollars last year on prescription drugs says a lot about where we are as a nation.  It’s big business, they have lobbyists like any other big business and they get away with a little more just like big business.  Now I’m not here going all Scientology on you and telling you that prescription medications are bad and all you need is a good diet and exercise because there are a lot of great drugs out there that help people immensely, that are keeping people alive.  I don’t have a problem with the Pharmaceutical Industry until I see a prescription medication commercial on my TV.

I really don’t care if it’s Ambien, Mucinex, Lunesta,  Allegra, Viagra, Valtrex, Yaz, Zymbalta or whatever, I hate these commercials as much as I hate tampon commercials.  Why? Because the symptoms of the ailment they describe are so broad, the side effects are listed quite graphically and is it really worth having a dry mouth, a decrease in semen and possible loss of continence just to curb your restless leg syndrome?

What really gets me is that these “Products” are being market to you and I like McDonald’s or Coca Cola when they are actually pretty serious business.  “Ask you doctor about XYZ drug and see if it’s right for you”.  I mean what’s wrong with that statement?  Shouldn’t you intimate to your doctor what kind of symptoms you may be having and then the doctor make a recommendation, if applicable, for a prescription medicine? Isn’t that why the doctors went to medical school, to be able to figure this stuff out?

Instead you have patients going into examination rooms recommending the doctor put them on a medicine before the doctor even knows what’s wrong.  Millions of patients playing armchair physician because a TV ad has them convinced they need such and such medication.

That’s what’s wrong with this situation.  When you go out to eat you don’t tell the Chef how to cook, when you go to the mechanic you don’t tell the mechanic how to fix your car so why are people telling their doctors why they need certain medications without being a medical professional themselves?

It used to be that Prescription Medication commercials were allowed but you didn’t know what they were, now you know what they are, what they do,what the side effects are and why you shouldn’t take said medication if you have a history of liver or kidney disease, are pregnant or will become pregnant or have uncontrolled glaucoma.  Drug companies are putting medication literature that used to be reserved for doctors into places like the Readers Digest and magazines.  It seems the Pharmaceutical Industry wants you to make the choice instead of your doctor and why not?…  you’re pretty smart right.

Drug Companies are aware of IQs and know that only a small percentage of the population are accepted into Med School. They understand that if they want to sell more of their product, they must advertise to create a new market. Millions of dollars go into research and development of these drugs and of course they want to make a profit, after all this is America.

If it were up to me, I’d take the drug commercials off TV and print ads and leave the doctoring up to the professionals. That’s not going to happen though, not while millions and millions of dollars are at stake for the Pharmaceutical Industry and not while they keep pouring money into Washington lobbyists.

I’m surprised I haven’t seen an ad for this yet but here’s my Ritalin commercial:

“Is your child a little too rambunctious, does he or she get easily distracted in school,  have you noticed a change in grades or attitude, do they seem hyperactive at times?  Ask your doctor if Ritalin can help.”

That commercial along with some vivid imagery of children behaving while still having fun would probably up the sales of Ritalin at least 25-30%.

By: Billy BeerSlugger

I was in the beer store yesterday and was going to go economy style and essentially get the cheapest beer in there for the Home Run Derby.  I went in the cooler and picked up a case of something or other Light then I saw a sign on a stack of cases of beer for $14.  I’m open to change and we picked up a case of Intercourse Brewery’s Mount Joy Light Pilsner.  This beer was marked down from $30 a case and probably had been sitting in the store for an extended period of time but you gotta roll with the punches.

So once you get past the novelty of a beer called “Intercourse” and start drinking it, I was amazed.  What a truly great session beer. Little to no carbonation which is something I look for in a beer, extremely smooth and no aftertaste.

What was supposed to be a friend and I sitting around and watching the Home Run Derby and drinking a couple of beers turned into the whole case of empty bottles sitting on the kitchen counter this morning.

This beer is brewed and bottled in Wilkes Barre and as far as I can tell only available in Philadelphia and surrounding counties. The Brand is named after Intercourse PA, a town near Lancaster which I’ve actually seen signs for before while traveling on the Turnpike.

I found this case of beer for a steal for $14 + tax at Beer City on E. Girard Ave. i highly recommend you get a case and sample it yourself, just leave a case or two for me.

http://www.intercoursebrewingco.com/ is the shoddily put together website.

Beer Advocate rates it overall as a B-

4.2% Alcohol by Volume

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By: Gene Yuss

I cialis order am going to start off that this is not necessarily a business policy, but a phenomenon that I viagra professional have seen in the business world.  None-the-less it is something that I have seen in office restrooms around the world and it absolutely drives me crazy.

I don’t make it a habit to notice what people do or don’t do when they are in the bathroom.  I like to think of that as some special private time to break up the normal business day.  However, I have noticed an alarming growth in the amount of people walking to the sink with their pants completely undone.  It is as if men have peaked at their bathroom prowess in the second grade.  Remember when you used to pull your pants down to your knees (some of you ankles) and then hold your shirt up?  Don’t act like you didn’t do it…

Businessmen seem to think that the only way to can go to the bathroom is by unbuttoning their pants, undoing their belt, and then going over the top of their underwear.  Do these people not realize that the zipper and the slit in their underwear line up perfectly for an easy exit?  People have spent hundreds of years developing fashion that is both useful and aesthetically pleasing.  Needing to completely take down your pants to urinate is a slap in the face of Mugatu and company.  There is no need to do anything further then unzip, pop out, and do your business.

Do you really expect me take your seriously in our 10 AM meeting when you go to the bathroom like a toddler?  If you are yet to master the art of the trouser, then how am I supposed to believe you can retrocede a stop-loss aggregate?  Absolutely no chance.

Men please listen.  Pee like an adult.  We need to improve our bathroom behavior in general.  Other suggestions, which will not be elaborated upon here, are simply:

• Urinate in a urinal and sit at the toilet.  Period.
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• If you get stage fright and insist on urinating in the toilet, then put the seat up for the benefit of people behind you that plan on sitting.
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• Whoever is balling up toilet paper and throwing it in the corner, please just drop it in the toilet.
• Don’t be afraid to write a phone number or quick haiku on the wall.  Why is this the only thing we have improved upon?

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By: Gene Yuss

 

 

 

INTRODUCTION:

 

As previously indicated in a prior article, I work in Big Business.  I love the smell of commerce in the morning.  I’m currently stationed on Wall Street for a project.  Yes I consult – I’m a problem solver.

  I stay in nice hotels, eat at lavish restaurants, and rub elbows with executives.

 

In the course of wheeling and dealing I come across some things that completely blow my mind.  I can’t fathom what exactly the genius that made the decision was thinking…  This will be the first of a weekly series that will air these grievances (I’m aware it is very “Grinds My Gears”-esque… Deal with it).

 

You will recognize my rise to power as these grievances become fixed.  Someone has to bring some logic to this topsy-turvy world that we live in!

 

DIALING OUT WHEN IN AN OFFICE BUILDING

 

For those of you that are unaware, there is a certain protocol that businesspeople have to follow when attempting to place a call in an office building.  You must first dial “9” to get out of the building connections, then “1” for the long distance, and finally the number you intend to call.

 

Twice in my life I have had an extremely unpleasant result from placing a call while in the office.  These incidents were extremely uncalled for and could have undoubtedly been avoided.

 

Picture this: you need to call the Ritz in Boston to make sure the simpleton at the concierge desk properly arranged for your suite.  You dial “9”, then “1”, and then you unexplainably sneeze on queue and press the “1” again.  The natural reaction is to realize your error, hang up and place the call again.  You have just inadvertently crank-called 911.

 

The cities of Denver and New York (New York being a week or so ago) have both felt the wrath of a 911 crank-call from myself.

 

Denver: Three years ago.  The police responded in record time.  There were five cop cars that arrived to the office within 10 minutes.  Several of them stormed the office building and eventually made their way to the conference room that I was stationed in.  I was still speaking with my supervisor at the time, but the phone call was unfortunately cut short by the irate questioning of Denver’s finest.  They appreciated my honesty and left glad to have a potential crisis averted.

 

New York:  Apparently in the wake of 9/11 and during an economic crisis the NYPD has trouble finding the lighter side of certain situations.  Accompanied by a team of secret service / SWAT / miscellaneous security personnel, New York’s finest stormed the office on Pine Street.  The first two officers had their guns drawn and swept the floor while the supporting cast locked down the elevator area.  I explained what happened and attempted to crack a joke about them over-pursuing a perpetrator like Enos chasing the General Lee.  I didn’t even get a chuckle!

 

 

Why does the first number have to be “9”?  Why are we setting ourselves up for this disaster?  We could have probably used any of the other numbers and not created this possibility for disaster.  Granted that “1” wouldn’t make very much sense for redundancy and “0” is dedicated for the operator, but that leaves seven other numbers that are all great choices.

 

211 – information about local health and human services

311 – information about government services

411 – white pages phone directory

511 – provides transportation information (traffic, public transportation, etc.)

611 – used to report problems with telephone services

711 – a relay service that allows deaf people to converse over the phone through an operator

811 – a direct line to your telephone company that is providing your current service

 

Taking these current conventions into consideration, the obvious choices are “6” and “7”.

 

“6” would probably be my first choice.  Obviously if you are having a problem with your telephone service, then CALLING the company to tell them is going to be difficult.  For those of you that have another phone, cell phone, stripper that lets you borrow her mobile, etc. than you can simply call 811 or the company’s designated 1-800 number.  Also, “6” looks very similar to “9” so the transition should be seamless.  However, “6” is close to “9” on the keypad and really leaves open the possibility of a miss-key.  Yet, being the first number dialed you should recognize your mistake well before striking a second “1”.

 

“7” is also a great choice.  I vote this second simply because someone somewhere is going to freak out that we are taking away rights from the handicapped.  While I prefer to avoid such arguments, I’m not going to turn a blind eye to this one (zing!).  With all of the technology and telecommunications in the world that we have today there is absolutely no need for a deaf person to rely on the telephone.  The mere thought of this is incredulous.  I called the company while I was writing this article to get further information.  They were furious that I was not deaf and using their service.  I started responding “What?!” every time they asked something and they hung up on me.  Again my humor was lost…  “7” is probably a better choice because of location on the keypad, but I’m not volunteering to have a discussion with the deaf on why their relay service was discontinued.

 

In conclusion, “9” was a terrible choice simply because 911 is a line dedicated for emergencies.  The emergencies that go through their switchboards should never be delayed because of juvenile mischief or ill-timed mucus.  Really – What was the Business World Thinking?