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Over-Pursuit

tackleBy: Billy BeerSlugger

In life as in football, you have to be sure that you are not over-pursuing your objective.  As anyone who is a fan of the NFL can attest, a defender over-pursuing a ballcarrier in the open field leaves himself open to a change in direction and when that happens the defender is usually grabbing at air or on the ground ground trying to make a shoestring tackle.

The same is true in dating I have found.  Playing the game is a necessary part of acquiring a worthy mate.  Acting semi-interested in the girl instead of full blown will get you a lot farther a lot faster.  Seems counter intuitive but since women run on emotion instead of logic that’s the way this game needs to be played.

You don’t want to go Stage 5 Clinger when you first get the girls phone number and text or call repeatedly, even if she is the best looking girl in your black book at the moment.  This may be especially hard right after a breakup where you may not have any girls in your phone.  I had to re-learn the lessons of over-pursuit the hard way.

Think of the movie Tommy Boy, and the scene where Chris Farley describes how excited he gets when a potential client is remotely interested in buying something from him:

Now replace the “sale” in Tommy Boy with the Girls Phone Number.  It’s essentially the same principal, sales is a numbers game just like dating. anyway  You gotta play it cool, too cool for school if you know what I mean.

If you ask the girl out and she has something to do let her make the next move.  If you don’t hear from her in a couple of weeks try one more time and if it doesn’t happen, delete her from your phone.  It’s actually a very liberating experience.

Hollywood movies would have you believe that if you put yourself out there, just tell the girl straight up you’re  at least ready to explore the possibility of starting a relationship that this will work in your favor.  These love stories had me a bit confused as a young adult and what had me even more confused is that watching these stories with females, they get teary eyed, emotional and tell you that’s the kind of guy they want, a nice guy, “Why can’t I find a nice guy?”.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  There’s a least a billion nice guys out there and all I ever hear from women is how shitty their current boyfriend treats them (though there’s always two sides to that story).  Still when it comes down to it they would rather date the bad boy then the nice guy.

All I’m saying is that like football, you have to take the correct angle to make the tackle.  Don’t overpursue, don’t underpursue.  Be available but not that available, show interest but not that much interest.  You can be a nice guy and still compete with the bad boys using other tools like being nonchalant and mysterious.

At least that’s what I keep telling myself.

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It’s Boner Time…

By: Billy BeerSlugger

You’ve seen them from time to time on a late night infomercial.  Extagen, Enzyte, Alzare, Extenze, Longitude, Size Max, VigRX, MagnaRX and Androenlarge.  All promise to make your member larger, usually dealing with girth as opposed to length.

I’ll focus on Extenze because I feel like that’s the one I’ve seen for the last couple of years.  One late night I got home from a drunken adventure and was flipping through channels.  I flipped by and saw Porn Legend Ron Jeremy hocking this boner pill.  Yea I watched just like you did chief.

Here’s what Extenze claims:

What will ExtenZe® Do For Me?*

  • Enlarge your penis and erection.
  • Give you harder, more frequent erections.
  • Give you more intense orgasms.
  • Make your erections last longer.
  • Makes getting an erection easier and more reliable.
  • Enhance desire, power, pleasure and performance.
  • Improve your overall sex life and penile sensitivity.

Several things I found funny were that in the infomercial they had a guy in a lab coat swishing around colored liquids in a beaker and pills rolling off an assembly line like this was somehow going to convince me that it’s credible and actually going to make my bird grow.  It’s clearly science.

Two, they have a real medical doctor endorsing it.  Dr. Daniel Stein, founder of the Stein Medical institute finds it thoroughly effective after extensive research.  I don’t know of anyone that has ever heard of the Stein Medical Institute. Do these doctors that go on TV and endorse these bullsh!t products get sanctioned at all?  Like the MD who endorsed Hydroxycut and then a couple months later Hydroxycut is taken off store shelves.

Three, as stated in the commercial, men all over the world have taken Extenze and over a quarter of a billion pills have been sent out.  Wow that makes me really reassured.  Small dicked bastards all over the world have been duped by this company into buying a bunch of supplements that are available at your local drug store, for 4 times the price.

Four, you can get a free week’s supply of Extenze for just the cost of a postage stamp.  “If Extenze didn’t work could we afford to do that?”.  Well, apparently they can.  Sign me up for my free sample!

Most of these pills are made up of Yohimbe, Ginsen, Horny Goat Weed etc.  These are all things available at most places they sell vitamins.  They all are said to promote healthy circulation which in turn can mean better boners.

So does it work?  Yes it works!  I got my free week supply in the mail and I took 3 times the recommended dosage for 3 days and now my “certain area” is at least 8 inches in girth in addition to my generous 3.25 inches in length.  I can barely fit in Bob McFlurry’s mom anymore, she loves it.

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The Girlfriend Experience

By: Billy Beerslugger

Steven Soderbergh is an Academy Award Winning director of such films as Sex Lies and Videotape, Traffic, Erin Brockovich & The Oceans 11 franchise.  His latest film, The Girlfriend Experience is a film about a $2,000 an hour call who juggles a boyfriend and the demands of her profession.

The film stars Porn Actress Sasha Grey in the lead.  As far as I can tell this is the first major mainstream release of  a movie with a Porn Star as the lead, or at least a Porn Star who still works in Porn.  I don’t know if you think it’s significant but I think it definitely reflects a change in the way the mainstream now more readily accepts people in the adult industry.

While the movie does have a Porn Star as the lead it is said to have very little nudity and no sex.

In case your a porn junkie like me here’s some links to Sasha Grey’s work.

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Polygamy and The Girls Next Door

By: Billy Beerslugger

You gotta give it up to Hugh Hefner. Dude is like 80+ years old and pretty much has had any girl he ever wanted.  He’s the founder of Playboy magazine and has been male whoring it up ever since.  He lives in a mansion with a several “girlfriends” and given the show “The Girls Next Door”, you have to assume he takes heaping doses of Viagra and lays down so these young gold diggers can ride him until satisfaction.  And who knows maybe he bangs other girls too besides his girlfriends.

Recently he got 3 brand new girlfriends (video below) as the old ones (one of whom got married to Eagles receiver Hank Basket) moved on.

I’ve been thinking about this for awhile and besides the moral implications of glamorizing the life of a playboy bunny to 11 year old girls on the E network, what about the fact that he lives with 3 “girlfriends”.  I like the show Big Love, Bill Paxton has 3 fictitious wives in this show, all of whom live in the 3 houses right next door to one another.  This 3 wife, multi-child family depicted in the show is considered Polygamist.

Polygamy is the practice of being married to more than one spouse at a time.  You may remember the April 2008 raid on a polygamist compound in Texas which was carried by every major news network and talk show for a good period of time last year.

That compound was raided because there was alleged child abuse occurring there and in general on these types of compounds it seems as if girls are forced to marry early into Polygamist families.

Obviously I’m not saying Hugh Hefner is raping little girls, but what is the fundamental difference between the actors pretending to live together in Big Love and Hefner and partners actually living together in The Girls Next Door?  In both instances 3 women share one man and engage in co-habitation.

In the Big Love scenario the extended family must try and hide their situation from the community for fear of being ostracized.  In the girls next door this scenario is championed.  It’s great the girls get naked, take pictures, go on trips together and generally have a worry free life.  The obvious difference is that Hef is not married to the “girlfriends” but if you are living with, banging and providing for 3 women that’s about as close as you can come to marriage without a certificate.

Now I’m not telling people how to live their life.  Hef wants to live with and be intimate with 3 women who want the same so be it.  A woman wants to live with and get rocked by 10 men who want the same, I’m all for that too.  All I’m saying is don’t glamorize one scenario in the media and shun the other.

And to elaborate further on my “Kids have it easy nowadays” rant, why couldn’t the E channel and the Girls Next Door be on when I was in my mid teens.  I was stuck spanking it to scrambled porn on cable and fake nudie pics of Sandra Bullock I found on CompuServe.  Every show these chicks get butt naked and E just blurs out the nipple and ass crack.  Then you got whorebag Kim Kardashian doing the same thing the next half hour.  But shit what teenage male today is watching TV when there’s free streaming video porn on the internet?