Category: Relationships

By: Billy BeerSlugger

The more I try to understand women the less I do.  Take for instance girls who invariably tell every aspect of their relationship and lives to their best friends. When girls get together to talk about relationships it is anything but good news for the guy she is dating, especially when women ask their friends advice or opinion on things dealing with their significant other. Girls often find out that they have more perceived problems than they did before they sat down and had the discussion. As if their friend talked them into being mad at the boyfriend for something they previously did not think was largely offensive.

“I wasn’t mad at Jim for going to the bar with his friends but after talking to Susie I’m kind of pissed off about it.”

Now from what I can surmise there are a couple of glaring reasons for this to occur:

• Critiquing other peoples relationships make women feel better. It’s kind of like being a judge on a reality show, even though you may suck as well, telling other people where they are failing with no repercussions can be a big ego boost.
• Subconsciously or otherwise the friend is trying to sabotage your relationship. Reasons detailed later in the article.
• The friend is actively trying to destroy your relationship
• There is a good reason to question a man’s actions/behavior. This is certainly possible.

Not to say that a girl’s friends intentions are bad because I truly believe that for the most part girls best friends are trying to help. However, they may be trying to help them in a way that lends itself to their situation, not your girlfriends. The friend is not there for the intimate parts of your relationship and does not understand the complexities and idiosyncrasies involved.  Guys and girls also can leave out crucial parts of stories when talking to friends. The circumstances surrounding a fight. The wanton disregard of crucial details as to the genesis of the problem.

“Dan and I got into a fight about money again. He just freaked out on me for no good reason.”

Well Dan’s wife/girlfriend may be spending too much of their money on crap they don’t need like $200 hand bags and such. Further, Dan may have had that money earmarked for some sort of beach vacation in which he was going to whisk Sally away on and be all romantic and shit. Now his plans are askew.

But seriously, no one knows your relationship like the people in the relationship.  The day by day dealings, the good times, the bad times. For the most part your friends aren’t there for the day by day unless you’re on a sitcom like Friends. Your friends insight into dealing with things is subjective at best for ways to approach specific situations. I often find that the best advice is very broad in nature and can be applied in a multitude of situations. If you get that sort of advice from a friend, take that to heart. But don’t get all bent out of shape when one of your friends tells you that you should be pissed off at your boyfriend for X situation. Of course she could be saying, “dump that loser” and you might have to listen to that one. Your girls’ friend may be single herself and trying to get her single for selfish reasons (this goes both ways for men and women) so you have to watch out for that one.

One of my favorite Chris Rock routines goes like this:

Women hate women. You get any two girlfriends in this room, been girlfriends for twenty five years, you put a man in between them … “fuck that bitch,” “fuck that bitch.” Guys are not like that. Guys actually think that there are other fish in the sea, and if a guy introduces his boy to his new girlfriend, and when they walk away, his boy goes, “Oh man, she’s nice, I gotta get me a girl like that.” If a woman introduces her new man to her girlfriend, and they walk away, her girlfriend goes, “I gotta get him, and I will slit that bitch’s throat to do it.” Every girl in here got a girlfriend they don’t trust around their man.

Anyway, the reason for writing this is that most guys have run into this at one time or another in their dating careers. When their significant other talks to a friend or family member and then becomes pissed at a certain situation at the behest of that friend or family member. A note-able one for me was when an ex-girlfriend got pissed that I couldn’t/wouldn’t take a Friday off to help her move  and that her parents were coming down that day to help. At first she was fine with it and then was later pissed after talking to her mom even though I was given 3 days notice as to the parents coming down to help. Though I was sure enough slave labor for the remainder of the weekend lugging boxes of crap and furniture it just wasn’t enough that I didn’t take that Friday off to help too. To try and mitigate the damage I did take a two hour lunch that Friday to help. Still not enough. No good deed does go unpunished.

By: Billy BeerSlugger

In what is easily some of the best reading I’ve done in awhile, I checked out this article from the Guardian in the UK. Lots of stuff I already knew or subconsciously knew but it’s great to have a study behind it because lets face it, what’s opinion without some scientific facts behind it.

No not all women have sex for money: directly or indirectly, some do rather enjoy the experience. Apparently for the enjoyment of it was reason number one.

Some Others included:

• promotion
• bartering
• for revenge
• to get back at a partner who has cheated on them
• to make their partners feel bad
• to make themselves feel good
• duty
• using sex to get rid of him
• to make him jealous

Some interesting concepts included:

“Love” as an Insurance Policy

Saying Love is essentially something that helps ensure your mate won’t leave you. Also goes into the chemicals the brain produces when someone is in love like phenylethylamine, dopamine and norepinephrine which can induce a euphoria like experience.  From what I’ve read love is just a chemical reaction.. if you want to believe that.

The Concept of Mate Poaching:

“There isn’t this huge pool of highly desirable men just sitting out there waiting for women.” So how does a woman get the man she desires?  We “compete to embody what men want” – high heels to show off our pelvises, lip-gloss to make men think about vagina’s, and we see off our rivals with slander. We spread gossip – “She’s easy!” – because that makes the slandered woman less inviting to men as a long-term partner. She may get short-term genetic benefits but she can sing all night for the resource benefits, like a cat sitting out in the rain. Then – then! – the gossiper mates with the man herself.

The Concept of Mate Guarding:

Women regularly have sex with their mates to stop them seeking it elsewhere. Mate guarding is closely related to “a sense of duty”, a popular reason for sex.  “Most of the time I just lie there and make lists in my head. I grunt once in a while so he knows I’m awake, and then I tell him how great it was when it’s over. We are happily married.” Women also Mate Guard by flaunting healthy sexual relationships thus signaling to potential “competition” that her mate has no need to look for sex anywhere else.

The Economics of Sex:

Not just prostitution but handbags, dinner, drugs, jobs but also to get their partner to take out the trash or mow the lawn. Freshman girls will bang fraternity guys and others who can acquire alcohol and get them and their friends drunk for free. However, they also do it for the status of it as well.

Women use sex at every stage of a relationship, “from luring a man into the relationship, to try and keep a man so he is fulfilled and doesn’t stray”.

This just goes on to prove a point my dad told me at an early age, “Women have a gold mine between their legs”. It also goes into my own theory of dating and relationships, once a women begins using sex as leverage to get what she wants you are officially fucked. Once sex between you and a girl you’re dating isn’t just for pleasure it becomes a relationship. It also makes me wonder if the girl is even having sex with you in the beginning under the pretenses of pleasure or just to lure you in as a potential mate. Have I been naive this whole time?

So more or less, women have sex to get what they want. Whether it is to get or keep a man, get monetary, egotistical or otherwise beneficial gain from it or bribe their husband into mowing the lawn.  Per this article women are attracted to men with symmetrical features as well as scent (Pheromones?). These features are apparently ingrained in women as a way of choosing a the best sperm to produce her offspring  just as a woman with ample breasts, blonde hair and large hips is supposed signs of a good child bearer to a male.

While I’ll never really fully understand women it’s good to know as much as possible about the enemy. This article was definitely an eye opener in terms of motivations behind a woman’s decision to partake in sex.