Posted on

Mr. T vs. Chuck Norris

norristBy: Billy BeerSlugger

I was having a conversation with someone at the bar on Friday night about who would win in hand to hand (or foot) combat, Mr. T or Chuck Norris?

It’s one of those amazing questions that you cannot readily answer given that both men are immortal.

Here are some well known facts about Norris and Mr. T.

  • Mr. T and Chuck Norris once encountered each other on a lonesome British path. Before the inevitable battle could begin, the earth shit itself and created Scotland.
  • Mr.T once punched Chuck Norris at the exact moment he roundhouse kicked Mr.T in the chest. The result was the 80’s.
  • Mr. T once shook hands with Chuck Norris, or so it appeared, in actuality, their combined power caused an earthquake, which gave their hands a look of shaking to any onlookers, who were probably too scared to accurately testify anyway.

[poll id=”9″]

Posted on

9-11 Suspects To Have Days in Court

Khalid Sheikh Mohammed or Ron Jeremy? You decide.
Khalid Sheikh Mohammed or Ron Jeremy? You decide.

By: Billy BeerSlugger

According to this article on Reuters the alleged masterminds behind the 9/11 bombings will be tried in New York. Khalid Sheikh Mohammed and others will soon be “subject to the most exacting demands of justice”, Obama said.

Correct me if I’m wrong here but wasn’t Osama Bin Laden the mastermind of this whole thing? I mean, yes there had to be other people involved but hasn’t the media, the government and every other organization been pushing the ultimate blame on Bin Laden since two days after the bombings?  So how is this guy one of the Mastermind’s when it’s been pushed on the American people that Bin Laden is the guy?  If Bin Laden makes the decisions doesn’t that make the guys that are getting tried Knights, Rook’s or Pawn’s in this Chess match to Bin Laden’s King?

How are these people expected to get a fair trial in the city that they are accused of blowing shit up in?  Seriously how do you get an impartial jury in the City of New York even 8 or so years after they lost 3,000+ of their fellow New Yorkers allegedly to the actions of the guys on trial.  Just not going to happen, you might as well execute these guys before they get airlifted off of Guantanamo.  We couldn’t have had this trial in Omaha, Nebraska where there isn’t nearly as many high profile buildings/targets to hit by potential terrorists seeking to make a statement during the trial?

Doesn’t Khalid Sheikh Mohammed look eerily like Porn Star Ron Jeremy?  What’s up with that shit?  Does anyone else smell a conspiracy here?
Casino41

Posted on

Selling out for DJ Hero

It Doesn't actually teach you how to be a DJ. Much like Guitar hero doesn't teach you how to play Guitar.
It Doesn't actually teach you how to be a DJ. Much like Guitar hero doesn't teach you how to play Guitar.

By: Robby RipChord

I’m not really mad at Eminem or Jay-Z for selling out to do DJ Hero but there must have been some serious postulating on both sides before they committed.  Something like this, as a hardcore rapper, can seriously hurt your street credibility in terms of fan base and the ability to sell records in the future.  Maybe they are both worried about record sales for the industry in general and are trying to make as much money as possible right now, who knows.

There’s something different about DJ Hero as opposed to most of the other “Hero” games in that Jay-Z and Eminem are still in a position to sell a major amount of records any time they drop an album.  They could debut at number one just from name recognition alone for the most part and one or two singles on the radio. With the popularity of Guitar Hero and Rock Band it’s an easy progression to try and make money off of hip-hop too and what a better instrument than the turntable.  But while Guitar Hero and Rock Band are highlighted by back in the day bands like The Beatles, Aerosmith, Metallica and others who really haven’t had a viable hit in years (or decades), the makers of the game chose to go with current rap/hip-hop stars instead of going with back in the day talent.  They didn’t even get DJ’s to front their product they got rappers instead of DJ legends.  Why not pick out The Beastie Boys, Run DMC, Wu Tang, Public Enemy, Rakim, Salt N Peppa, Nas or one of 50 other artists who deserve to be kind of honored (and compensated) for their role in Rap and Hip-Hop?  We’re these people approached and told the Video Game Company to fuck off, “We’re not going on a video game”?

Do Jay-Z and Eminem really need the money that bad? Jay-Z is always rapping about how much money he has and he’s a mogul but how do you justify all this to your “street” fanbase and becoming overly commercial?  Eminem I don’t really see with the same problem because I’m not sure anyone ever took him for a Gangsta but doesn’t this cheapen his work as an “Artist”? I’m all for people making money but at what cost to your reputation?

Posted on

The League

By: Billy BeerSlugger

The League is flat out hilarious.  It’s the sort of entertainment you’ve come to expect from the network that gave us It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. The plot lines of the episodes revolve around a Fantasy Football League, the members of that league and the interactions with wives, girlfriends and one night stands.

It comes on right after it’s Always Sunny and this is now considered my favorite hour of television each week.  Any show that has a woman say to her husband “I have confidence in my pussy” while drunk at dinner deserves a full season of episodes ordered. During this same conversation a member of the league (Nick Kroll) notes that his fellow league members’ wife may have a little “Vaginal Hubris”.  Later a music video about it is made by another League Member is shown and posted on the League website.  Eventually the “confident” wife views the league message board and sees the video and more hilarity ensues.

I’ve followed Nick Kroll for awhile and he’s definitely of the brand of Jewish humor that I’m buying at the Supermarket. Check out some of his stuff on Funny Or Die. He shares my affinity for Ed Hardy T-Shirts.