November 2009 – BeerSlugger.com

November 28, 2009November 28, 2009

A Beerslugger’s Winter Guide to Romance

0_61_blues320 — Why can't my boyfriend be more like this guy on TV? Thoughtful, Romantic, Good Looking. He just doesn't get it.

By: Sean Millski

That right, romance. Let’s face it Fella’s, the ladies want it and, like it or not, it’s your job to give it to ‘em. Especially this time of year because with the holidays comes the 10 extra pounds from grandma’s sweet potatoes and, as if that wasn’t enough, the cold weather sets in. The extra weight and extra layer of clothes leaves your girl down and out. With the beaches closed and the sun on vacation, she’ll huddle on the couch fighting off the winter blues with a set of flannel PJ’s and Na-Na‘s lovingly wrapped left-over’s. All the while trying to figure out what exactly it was she liked about you in the first place. So, unless you want a full blown girlfriend crisis on your hand, you better step away from the fruitcake and do something about it.

If you don’t know what to do don’t worry because whether your just starting to date or you’ve been married for years the same rules apply to getting through the frigid months with your girl happy and intact. The first thing you need to do is put the wrench, spreadsheet or game station down and get started on making your lady feel like she’s still number one in your book. Here are some useful hints and tips that might help you along;

Take some of the burden off her.

The modern woman, college coed to busy mom, feels strained and overwhelmed with all of life’s little duties so start with making time for her to relax and spend some fun time with you. Most women will tell you that the most effective foreplay a man can do for her is to do the dishes or clean the bathroom. If your just dating you can still do your part by taking the initiative and making the weekend’s plans. Make it easy for her to just go along and enjoy. Don’t cross the line to controlling…your going for helpful. Oh, and if you clean the bathroom, do it like she would! Don’t wipe it down with the dirty pair of boxers you just took off!

Don’t rev a cold engine.

Any car guy can instinctively tell you that about his motor but somehow they don’t understand that it applies to their girlfriend too. Before you race the engine, you have to make sure she’s warmed up and ready to run. Whether it’s sex or dinner with friends…..a little patience will go a long way. If you don’t know what that means then the next tip is for you.

Send silent messages.

Use body language…a lot….but whatever you do, don’t make every contact or movement about sex. Learn to take emotion and put it into your finger tips. Touch her softly and with feeling that she can, well, feel. Women look at that little stuff, it’s big to them. What you do is far more important than what you say (read that last sentence like ten times).Take a gentle kiss on the forehead for example, it’s a simple gesture but it speaks volumes to a woman. Touch (not grabbing or groping!) can be a great way to get through to your girl. Use what I call “The Deft Touch”. Pay attention to the softer, more vulnerable parts of her body like the small of her back, the top of the hip, the inner forearm, the nape of her neck. Avoid the sexual areas like the plague. Lightly glide across the skin or firmly push with the palm. Try to make her feel safe, loved, cared for, special, attractive and desired…not kept or lusted after. It send’s a message that she’ll get in a big way. You touch her right….and she’ll return the favor in and out of the bedroom.

Give the right gift.

Romance doesn’t usually need to include a gift but if you decide to give one be careful, it’s a slippery slope. Flowers are expensive and are going to make them wonder if you are apologizing for something. Don’t do lingerie(get the wrong size and it’s curtains) or household goods under any circumstances! The best gifts are intangible like concert tickets or add-ons like a bracelet on her car seat after a trip to the zoo that says to My Hunny Bunny or some other cute animal related saying. Corny? Yes, but romantic nonetheless. Avoid homemade gifts too unless your absolutely sure they’re not lame…ask someone if your not sure. Design a memory…that’s the best gift of all.

Connect with her…

out of the house…out of the normal routine. It’s important this time of year to get her up and out. Get the blood flowing and the literal and figurative heart’s pumping. To help you decide how and what to do we’ve come up with a few suggestions;

Take her to the new National Constitution Center. Taking her there can show you have depth …The center features a state of the art, stadium seated, multimedia presentation in addition to a pretty big, interactive museum on the founding of our great nation….But the best part is that until Dec.31st, they are featuring an elaborate exposition on Princess Diana. This one is easy, I hate to make so many generalizations but, the ladies love princesses. Top it off with a romantic, horse drawn carriage ride through the park and you’ll be one step closer to being her prince charming! (a simple necklace or charm that says Your My Princess at the beginning of the carriage ride would be a good gift add-on example. Getting it now?)

Walk hand-in hand down a hopefully snowy lane at the free Dicken’s festival in downtown Narbeth on Dec. 12 from 1 to 4pm. The street festival features street performers, carolers, venders, performers and more. The ladies don’t like to be cold but they do love you to show them some affection in public. I haven’t been to this one but it sounds worthy.

Stroll arm in arm through Longwood Gardens beautiful winter display from now until Jan. 10th. It’s a great place and this time of year it’s the perfect romantic setting. This one is sure fire.

Finally, if you want or need to be fairly spontaneous, just go for a walk together or ask her to go outside with you and make snow angels (Stop making that face like you just smelled bad milk! That‘s what got you in this position in the first place!). Last but not least, make two snowmen in the yard and color them to look like you guys with spray bottles filled with water and food coloring. (You can talk all the man-smack you want…don‘t knock it until you try it.)

If you have any romantic trip or gift suggestions, please add them to the comment section below.

Well, Break a Leg.

November 28, 2009

The Top 10 Christmas Movies

gremlins By: Billy BeerSlugger

The essential list of Christmas/Holiday movies for your holiday season per myself. I left off animated features so don’t be mad that Polar Express or Charlie Brown’s Christmas Special isn’t on here.

10) Gremlins: A black comedy based at Christmas time, it features a a cute as can be Mogwai named Gizmo that spawns mutated versions of itself when it comes in contact with water and they wreak havoc on a small town during the holiday. Director Joe Dante also directed Innerspace and The Burbs. Little known fact is that Howie Mandel did the voice of Gizmo.

9) Elf: I’m not particularly a big fan of this movie but it does have it’s funny moments and one liners. I guess I hoped it was a little more dark or had some more adult humor in it being that it was Will Ferrel’s next movie after Old Shool. Mary Steenburgen has been the mom in every movie since Clifford.

8 ) Trading Places: This movie you may not really think of as a Christmas Movie per se but it was shot pretty much entirely in Philadelphia which basically put it over the edge for me. Eddie Murphy and Dan Ackroyd change work and socioeconomic backgrounds on a bet from their bosses. Murray and Ackroyd get even in the end but not without a bunch of humorous scenes, a view of early 1980’s Philadelphia and a completely gratuitous and non-essential shot of Jamie Lee Curtis’ breasts.

7) Bad Santa: Billy Bob Thorton is a safe cracker and his dwarf partner Marcus are mall thief’s extraordinaire. They use Billy Bob as a alcoholic Santa and his Marcus as an elf for cover. Billy Bob drinks, womanizes and commandeers husky Thurman Murmon’s house. There are too many one-liners in this movie to leave it off the list.

6) Home Alone: I remember having to get this movie the day it came out it was that big of a deal when I was a kid. The plot revolves around Macaulay Culkin being left at home during a family trip and dealing with “Wet Bandits” Daniel Stern and Joe Pesci. Lot of physical humor in this as you know and nothing gets kids laughing like people getting kicked in the nuts or falling down.It’s what has kept America’s Funniest Home Video’s in business for 20 years now.

5) A Christmas Story: many will argue that this should be higher on the list but a couple years ago TNT or TBS ran it on repeat for 24 hours which I subsequently watched the movie twice during the day, when I went to bed and when I woke up the next day and now want to never see the movie again. The Trailer Here!

4) Scrooged: An updated, comedic Scrooge yarn with Bill Murray in one of his best roles as an asshole TV Executive who is visited by three ghosts and eventually sees the error of his ways.

3) Die Hard: Bruce Willis starts the franchise off with a bang in this 1988 blockbuster which redefined action movies. Set on Christmas Eve, John McClain must save his wife and coworkers from terrorists who hold them hostage at a company Holiday party in a Los Angeles skyscraper. Check out the condense version here!

2) National Lampoons Christmas Vacation: “Shitters’ full!”. One of the classic Christmas Movies from the late 80’s which has Chevy Chase reprising his role as Clack W. Griswold this time seeking to have his extended family over for the perfect Christmas turns into anything but. This is one of the few movies I can watch over and over. SQUIRRELLL!!!!!!!!!! Check out the trailer HERE!

1) It’s a Wonderful Life: I can’t go through the Holiday’s without watching this movie. Released in 1946, Frank Capra’s drama staring Jimmy Stewart and Donna Reed speaks to the human spirit, hope and the power of family/friends. It brings us back to a simpler time in America and the protagonist learns all is not lost when even when it seems. If you’re looking for a feel good, uplifting Christmas movie this is it even if it’s a tad too long.

Others receiving consideration: The Ref, Miracle on 34th St., The Nightmare Before Christmas.

November 27, 2009

Adam Lambert Controversy

By: Robby RipChord

You know people are all up in arms over some sort of American Music Awards performance by Adam Lambert. I had to figure out who Adan Lambert was and apparently he was on that American Idol show. I’m not sure if he won or not but he’s also a homosexual (not that there’s anything wrong with that). I guess he kissed one of his male band members and did some suggestive dancing or something. I can’t really tell you what happened because not only do I not watch award shows for the most part but I also refuse to lookup a video that has guys kissing in it so I can disseminate to you why that doesn’t give me a warm feeling inside.

The performance has been labeled “Outrageous” and there has been a bunch of backlash from it including getting nixed from a Good Morning America interview (instead CBS’ The Early Show picked up the interview). I really wouldn’t have known about this whole thing if it wasn’t for a coworker who alerted me of the fiasco. The funny part is she described it as disgusting, however, she is absolutely pro gay marriage. When I probed her about this she told me that she was pro gay marriage but she didn’t necessarily want to see it on TV. I found this quite hypocritical in that gay and lesbian people who want to be married and have a wedding like straight couples would eventually have to kiss at the closing of the ceremony. Can you be pro gay marriage but not want to go to a gay marriage ceremony as well?

Not to say that a gay marriage ceremony would be anything like an Adam Lambert concert make out fest but if someone is claiming to be tolerant and progressive enough to give an enthusiastic yay vote on gay marriage shouldn’t that person also not want to throw up when they see two men slip each other the tongue during an awards show?

Why is it more socially acceptable for Britney Spears, Christina Aguilerra and Madonna all make out in succession but Adam Lambert can’t make out with his own band members without getting ditched from interviews? Not to say there’s a double standard but, well maybe that is what I’m saying. Why can guys like Stifler from American Pie and Ashton Kutcher make out or Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal movie but Adam Lambert is given the boot from a morning show interview? Is it because those movies are done for laughs or art and the other is done for perceived shock entertainment? Is it because Adam Lambert is admittedly gay and the other actors mentioned are (as far as I know) not?

I’m playing Devil’s Advocate a little here but I just want to point out some hypocrisy that is going on in America. You can be for Gay Marriage and not particularly want to see dudes make out, i get that. Just don’t be so be adamant about your support for the gay politics and then be disgusted when they make a scene in public, because they are going to make a scene it’s pretty much inevitable.

All this reminds me of a Public Service Announcement I saw recently which tries to fight back against the phrase “That’ so gay”.

I think this PSA proves without a doubt that it’s pretty gay to say “That’s so gay”!

November 24, 2009

Fathers of American Beer: Adolph Coors

coorsadolphbio — Dude looks like Dr. Werner Klopek from The Burbs.

By: Billy BeerSlugger

For our next entry into The Fathers of American Beer saga we profile Adolph Coors, the patriarch of Coors Brewing Co. For the first time in our series we profile a brewer who is not based in the Western part of the United States, Golden Colorado to be more specific.

It’s not common knowledge that Adolph Coors was actually born Adolph Kuhrs, the name changed to Coors after he immigrated from Germany to New York. Yes, just like every other Father of American Beer, Coors was born in Germany. Breaking the ranks from his peers Schlitz, Busch and Pabst, Coors did not marry into a family and eventually take over the brewery. He and another businessman bought a Tannery (a place where the tanning process is applied to hide to make it leather) in1873 and made it into his Golden Brewery. In 1880 Coors acquired full control of the brewery and the rest is essentially history.

The Golden Brewery was converted to make Malted Milk during Prohibition as well as a de-alcoholized “near beer” called Mannah. It was Prohibition that may have drove him to his death as he committed suicide in June 1929 by jumping out the a window in his room at the luxurious Cavalier Hotel in Virginia Beach, Virginia. Four years later Prohibition was repealed.

The Coors lineage had been known as workaholics and it is a testament to how the brewery grew over the years. The Golden Colorado brewery is the largest on a single site and Coors Brewing Company (after it’s merger with Molson) now makes up the world’s 5th largest brewing company. According to the Coors website, Coors became the first American brewer to use an all-aluminum two-piece beverage can in 1959. Coors currently operates the largest aluminum can producing plant in the world in Golden Colorado, known as the Rocky Mountain Metal Container.

November 22, 2009November 22, 2009

The Rise of the Tater Tot

By: Billy BeerSlugger

Tater Tot’s are so in vogue right now it makes me want to boycott them, however, they’re just too fucking delicious. This simple food is served to you in a restaurant/bar essentially the same way they come out of your oven. There’s really no difference except the price and maybe some chives or scallions you’ll get when eating out somewhere that serves them.

So where did the popularity of the Tater Tot come from and why in recent years have I seen a steady increase in places offering them, especially the hipster places.

Notably, I worked at the Barclay Prime circa 2006 and noticed they were serving them there. One of the more fancy and best steakhouses in the city and they’re serving the same thing that run down diners serve to their patrons (granted at a bigger markup). Other places I’ve seen them on the menu is the Urban Saloon and North Bowl, so much so that when my friends and I go either place it’s always brought up how multiple orders of “tot’s” were going to be consumed that night. My comrade has told me that they are available at Sonic Fast Food Restaurants but I’ve never actually seen one of those. My guess is that Sonic is a fictional corporation akin to one of those companies in the movie Boiler Room.

Where did this phenomenon come from? Was it the cult classic Napoleon Dynamite that brought the tot back into mainstream America? Has the tot in some ways always been part of large part of American Culinary Culture? Americans consume approximately 70 Millions pounds of tot’s per year to the French Fries 2 million tons so the tot does have some ground to make up. If the tot continues to be adopted as the potato product of choice for the hipster set and the trendy establishments they frequent, you may well see the tot challenge the fry for it’s dominance. Will we see McDonalds, Burger King and other fast food places start to carry the tot? Only time will tell, in the mean time grab yourself a big bag of tot’s at the supermarket, a pack of your favorite shredded cheese and get totted up!

November 21, 2009

Digital 3D: Lousy name, Great experience

By: Sean Millski

I went into my first new 3D movie, The so-called Digital 3D, thinking it was going to be like the 3D movies of old, the ones I grew up with…Blurry, oddly colored images briefly darting off the screen, flying over the audience and into your face…. but I was way off, it wasn’t like that at all. It was much, much better.

As a movie buff, I would’ve ran to the theater to see this new technology if someone had come up with some cool, kick-ass new name meant to distance themselves from the old 3D format or to take a second and say “Hey man, This is something different” but they didn’t. They just added the word digital and I guess hoped that would do it. That monumental marketing failure has left me, and the rest of the movie-going public, slow to catch on to the new way to watch movies. It‘s no longer a momentary parlor trick that happens a few times during a hazy green and red colored flick. The new and vastly improved effect is an amazingly realistic depth with an even more amazing image clarity! I came away thinking “That was F’ing awesome!”. The digital technology offers a new viewpoint for the movie goer, a new perspective. It’s almost as if you’re in the movie! I don’t know how it all works, something about 48 frames per second and polarized ocular distance, but I know I like it!

The most noticeable and impressive change is the depth. you see things clearly that are in the foreground and in the background and as if they are, in fact, in front or behind each other. The characters have a realistic roundness to them. I can’t explain it, you have to see and judge it for yourself. The preview for the upcoming December release of Avatar, a combo Live-action and CGI animated film looked even more impressive! The effect on the Live action actors was flat out amazing! I think I will buy a ticket in advance for the first time ever.

So what did I go see? I went to a Loewes/AMC theater to see the IMAX presentation of Disney’s A Christmas Carol shown in Disney’s own Digital 3D format. I was Psyched but was disappointed to find that AMC’s IMAX screen isn’t the huge, 7 story wrap around I thought it would be. Instead it’s a flat, traditional screen that’s maybe a little bigger than normal. You also still need to wear 3D glasses. The new glasses aren’t green and red anymore, they’re both tinted black in a plastic, one-size-fits-all frame that you drop into a collection bin on your way out of the theater. They need to work on that end of things.

As far as A Christmas Carol was concerned ,I’ll give it a B-. It was good but we all know the story so no surprises there. Jim Carey’s face is flawlessly reproduced as a withered, bitter Ebenezer Scrooge. Gary Oldman, Cary Elwes and a few other actors are also easily recognizable. The facial details of some of the minor characters could use some work though. Also impressive is Jim Carey’s voice performances of Ebenezer and all three spirits. Gary Oldman also put in a great voice performance as Jacob Marley , Bob Cratchit and Tiny Tim.

Over all, I think I expected more imaginative storytelling from Disney but the IMAX Digital 3D, albeit horribly named, made it all worth while.

November 21, 2009November 21, 2009

How To Secure Your Wireless Network

wireless_cables By: Billy BeerSlugger

First of all, I’d like to thank you for allowing me to steal your internet this whole time. I just feel kind of guilty now that I’ve downloaded all the porn on the internet using your signal that I thought I’d tell you how to put a password on your wireless network so that someone else doesn’t do the same thing to you.

Seriously though, if you have a Wireless Internet connection and it’s not protected by a password you may be opening yourself up to a host of security problems not to mention other people stealing your bandwidth so you can’t download your own porn as fast as you could be. You definitely don’t want to be liable when the weird dude down the hall from you grabs some kiddie porn using your Wireless Network. Everyone knows you don’t download kiddie porn on your own internet service, you go to your buddies house or you steal an internet signal from the stupid person with the unsecured network in your apartment building.

So I’ll assume that you can actually access the internet from your Wireless Router but never had to put a password in to connect to it (If you have secured your wireless network you can probably skip the rest of this article).

Here’s what you can do to try and set the password but before I tell you I want you to know that I’m not liable if you fuck something up.

Using a network cable you should temporarily connect your computer to one of the open network ports on your wireless router (any port that isn’t labeled Internet, WAN, or WLAN). If you need to, turn your computer on. It should automatically connect to your router.

Next, open Internet Explorer and type in the address to configure your router.

You might be prompted for a password. The address and password you use will vary depending on what type of router you have, so refer to the instructions included with your router.

As a quick reference, this table shows the default addresses, usernames, and passwords for some common router manufacturers.

Router	Address	Username	Password
3Com	http://192.168.1.1	admin	admin
D-Link	http://192.168.0.1	admin
Linksys	http://192.168.1.1	admin	admin
Microsoft Broadband	http://192.168.2.1	admin	admin
Netgear	http://192.168.0.1	admin	password

Internet Explorer will show your router’s configuration page. Most of the default settings should be fine, but you should configure three things:

Your wireless network name, known as the SSID. This name identifies your network. You should choose something unique that none of your neighbors will be using.

Wireless encryption (WEP) or Wi-Fi Protected Access (WPA), which help protect your wireless network. For most routers, you will provide a passphrase that your router uses to generate several keys. Make sure your passphrase is unique and long (you don’t need to memorize it).

Your administrative password, which controls your wireless network. Just like any other password, it should not be a word that you can find in the dictionary, and it should be a combination of letters, numbers, and symbols. Be sure you can remember this password, because you’ll need it if you ever have to change your router’s settings.

The exact steps you follow to configure these settings will vary depending on the type of router you have. After each configuration setting, be sure to click Save Settings, Apply, or OK to save your changes.

That should be it. You should now be able to connect to your wireless network using a password and thus thwarting the efforts of would be child pornography downloaders.

November 18, 2009November 18, 2009

lala.com: A Music Site a Step in the Right Direction

By: Robby RipChord

lala.com is a site that streams music to you via your web browser. They have over 8 million licensed songs to hear for free. They have whole albums, singles, every genre and time period you could want. You can even listen to New Releases the day they come out all over the internet. Well you’re waiting for the catch right? Well here’s the catch, you can only hear them once in they’re entirety. After that you get a 30 second preview. So say you want to listen to Dire Strait’s, Money For Nothing again, well you get a 30 second clip of it and are asked to buy the song (hint: if you go to a different computer you can hear the song again for free.).

The beauty of this is that it’s all licensed content and there’s tons of it. There’s 8 million songs. You could listen to a couple of albums a day for free. If you really like the album, you buy it. If you really like a particular song, pick that one up for .89 cents or so.

Go back to the 60’s and listen to some great music from that decade. Find the albums that defined the 70’s. Listen to the entire Phil Collins catalog from the 80’s. Recheck the Fugees, The Score. It doesn’t matter because there’s so much music on there that you may never get to listen to all of it in your lifetime. So check out Rolling Stones 500 Greatest Albums of All Time, find an album you’re interested in and listen to it on lala.com.

Studies have found that people have to problem paying for music they really like. In fact, Illegal Downloaders spend more money on music than people who do not download illegally. Why is that you ask, because more than half the time someone will illegally download an album just to hear it. If it sucks they simply delete it, but if it’s good a person is more inclined to go out and purchase the album or download it legally. lala.com takes the illegal downloading step out of that equation and lets you hear the entire album once for free. Enjoy it and download it, if not move onto another album or artist. It’s that simple. Grab your headphones, take them to work and plug them into your computer audio jack. You just got yourself an all day music fest friend. Enjoy!

November 16, 2009

Andre Agassi Book Backlash

A Mullet can't really get more bad-ass than this.

By: Bones

I’m tired of people jumping all over Andre Agassi about his recently released autobiography, ‘Open’. As you probably have heard, his book reveals that he hated tennis most of his life, his famous lion mane of a haircut in the early ’90s was a hair piece, and that he used meth while still an active player, and then lied about it to the ATP, tennis’ governing body.

Since its release, it seems that anyone and everyone has condemned Agassi- one of the most common refrains I’ve heard is that he is being incredibly selfish in tarnishing the reputation of tennis though his book. Are they kidding? The only reputation that he is tarnishing is his own. I don’t feel anything less or more towards the sport because it turns out that one of its players has had some serious issues. It seems to me that those saying that are the ones being selfish- attacking someone that seems to be telling the truth about his life and saying that he should’ve sat on the information, no matter how that affected him further, in order to save the sport’s reputation. Another thing I’ve heard a lot is a knee-jerk condemnation of his meth use, and subsequent lying about it. Martina Navritilova, a tennis legend in the women’s game, went as far to say that Agassi, to her, was on the same level as A-Rod in terms of his drug use. That statement is so ill-advised that it is embarrassing for Navritilova-the difference is not even comparable. A-Rod and a bunch of other baseball players busted for steroid use willingly took substances that were intended, and if you go by the numbers, were in most cases seemingly effective, in enhancing their abilities on the field.

Agassi took, at a very low point in his life, one of the most addictive, damaging substances on earth, something capable of incapacitating people to the point where it would be difficult to hold down a job manning the fryer at McDonald’s, let alone play world class tennis. To compare the two is a joke, and Navritilova, as well as other tennis stars who have come down on Andre including Roger Federer, Raphael Nadal, and Marat Safin need to take a serious look at the way they view what Andre did. Safin said he should forfeit his titles. To quote John McEnroe, “you CANNOT be SERIOUS!”. Yes, he lied about his use to the ATP- but honestly, who would’nt? Once again its a case of people getting on their high horse and claiming they would do things differently if put in situations they know nothing about. Its sad that everyone’s reaction is always to pile on someone who is down. I watched Agassi’s interviews, and to me he seems like an eminently likable, straightforward guy who actually has gotten something that helped him by coming clean about a life full of lies. It seems that the debate is whether he did it for money, but trashing your own reputation by revealing all these personal items, when you don’t need the money whatsoever, seems unlikely.

Personally, I admire the way that he went about it, and I think that all those condemning him should cut the guy a break. He’s far from perfect, and so are you. Honestly, if all professional athletes wrote a book about their lives, and were completely honest with it and didn’t hide anything, I think 90% would have some pretty shocking things in it. The road to becoming a professional athlete in this country isn’t like everyone’s else’s lives. It involves dedication, temptation, money, sex and a million others things on a level most of us will never know. To assume that athletes should or would be perfect is ludicrous.

Month: November 2009